To think nhs school height / weight check is useless

[Ellieboolou27]

Dd is 4.5 she's 3ft 7" and weighs 3st 9lb

The school did the height and weight check a few weeks ago and have sent a letter saying she is very overweight and they would like me to come in to discuss healthy eating.

I'm really shocked as dd is far from being very overweight
She does tap, swimming and multi sports weekly, as a family we eat normal family meals, she wears size 5-6 clothes, 6-7 in some shops like primark where they come up small.

She's certainly not skinny, but most certainly not very overweight!

I think this bmi checker is shit, according to the NHS online bmi checker my dh is obese, he is 6ft 2" and weighs 16st but is an ex body builder so is a big guy with not an ounce of fat on him.

Feeling awful

Mari50. I have had exactly the same experience. I was shocked by the portion sizes served at their house. Their DD is 3cm taller than my DD and 10kgs heavier. They think it is 'genetics'.

Nine in 10 mothers and eight in 10 fathers of an overweight child described them as being about the right weight. Almost half of mothers (48%) and 43% of fathers said their obese child was about the right weight.
www.theguardian.com/society/2016/dec/14/parents-children-overweight-survey-obesity

I'm more interested in your dd's diet?

Also, portion sizes of her meals would be handy.

Some pictures would help, so maybe we can help to ascertain what her daily diet consists of, and how much she eats.

It's all very well posting photos of your dd, I'd rather see pics of food tbh.

No offence op x

Re the point that it can't be blamed on school dinners. I have noticed that ds since starting school in September now says 'what's for pudding?' Where before he would have assumed dinner was over unless I offered some fruit or yogurt. Teacher also gives out haribo on a Friday for good behaviour. It's actually gutting as previously ds had no interest in that type of sweet and is now mad about them. I'd also managed to avoid 'sugar for good behaviour' which is now entrenched in his brain in the most unhealthy way imaginable. Loads of us have complained, school's solution has been to offer raisins or chocolate as alternatives. Makes no difference now, said just chooses the haribo (he's hooked). Obviously one bag a week won't make him obese but it's the changes in his mindset that I think will have a big impact at such a formative stage. He's not overweight btw.

I think OP's reaction just shows that we have lost perspective on whether a child is overweight.
When a child clearly is, mum insists she's not.

The NHS calculator says my ds is obese, he's 4ft 6 and 6 stone exactly, and he's only 7 years of age, he's always been on the 99 centile, he's under consultants for non weight related illnesses and when I bought his size up at the consultants, he just laughted at me, and said he was all in proportion and that ds was just going to be a solid young man, his hands are the same size as mine,

He's in age 10-11 in trousers and 9-10 in tops, his trousers we need for his height, and myself and MIL have to take The waist in or use a belt, he also a size 3 in shoes.

This kid has multiple allergies, so he basically has an outstanding diet and he eats no more than my tiny 11 year old. (Better diet actually)

So while I agree that the BMI indicator is a good estimation, I don't think it takes into conderation, children who are very tall.

He's going to take after my Dad I think, he's built exactly like him and he was 6ft 4 and my husband Dad was 6ft 2

I forgot to say as well ds is going through a growth spurt at the moment, poor sod has been in agony with it.

If you knew me in RL I can assure you you'd know I'm not one of those mums who denies reality, if my dd was bett overweight I'd bloody know, I've eyes and common sense!

once I make an appointment with the gp I will report back as dd has been to 2 consultant led health checks in the past 12 weeks and not one of the consultants or nurses raised any concerns. This is allergy related she has skin conditions, diet / weight has never been mentioned.

Portion sizes are normal child sizes in this house, side plates used, her average daily diet is something like,

bowl of cereal usually shreddies in plastic kids bowl, she may have porridge, or weetabix, all around a 30g serving, glass milk or sugar free squash

School dinners - whatever she chooses

Pick up from school - I don't bring anything only on a Friday when it's treat day so will be either bag of crisps OR chocolate such as a Milky Way or magic stars, the small size - this is only on a Friday before the jury starts judging, orhervsays its apple / cheese pieces, a small bunch grape (around 8-10), and only if she's doing after school activities.

Dinner is usually at 5pm,

the last 3 days have been - homemade lentil soup in ikea small bowls - the 40p ones and a cheese toastie, 2 slices bread, cheese about matchbox sized - no pudding but hot choc before bed at 7

Last night - two scoops (ice cream sized) mash, one cod in butter sauce - the Ross ones, 3 broccoli florets and tablespoon or so of carrots, glass milk

Night before last - homemade lasagne a square string the size of palm of my hand, banana milkshake which is homemade using 1 banana and a glass of milk.

I'm using full fat as have a 16 month old, dd usually has glass in the morning and cup at night before bed, should I know use semi skimmed?

Snacks - I don't usually have crap in the house as dh is a clean eater and don't touch it, I've no willpower so buy my own treats

Dc dont like things like haribo as but do like chocolate and cakes but unless we buy in the weekly shop or as a one off treat they are not usually in the house.

Snacks only at wkends really as at school mon - fri and I work and dinner is served at 5ish then a milk or hot choc before bed.

Calling go tomorrow as I want to sort it out, I was extra vigilant yesterday on her portion sizes, this is not something I want to escalate, I don't want a fat kid but at the same time this is my child we are talking about so I will be sensitive.

Maybe keep a food diary for a couple of weeks with every single thing eaten or drunk written down with the exact amount it is and at what time. Bit difficult to note down the school dinner but do you know at least what she chooses there and what portion sizes they are? Make sure nanny notes down what she gives too.

Her diet sounds ok, though I'd consider changing a bit for instance instead of two scoops of mash, give one scoop and extra veggies instead - half the plate should be vegetables.

And thats a lot of cheese mentioned. But yes, write down everything to get a clear picture. There could be a lot of secret eating. It is also the ideal opportunity to deal with your own weight and set a good example.

if my dd was bett overweight I'd bloody know, I've eyes

OP I didn't see the photos you uploaded but I see that several people have commented that she does look overweight, using words like chubby and plump. Are they all mistaken?

I think those portions are large for a 4 year old TBH

Ie based on my 5 year old:

Lentil soup with x2 cheese on toast - I would have given just lentil soup, maybe with one small slice bread. Not two, no cheese.

Milkshake with whole banana - I would use one banana with milk between two children.

X2 scoops mash, cod in sauce, x3 broccoli and spoon carrots - I would give one scoop mash, same cod, little less broccoli, same carrots.

Also she has milk on breakfast, glass milk with breakfast, dinner, and in evening at least. I think x3-4 glasses milk a day is a lot for a 4 year old who's eating x3 meals and snacks. I would give 1 small glass on average to 5 year old here ( either one with breakfast if they eat non milk meal ie eggs, or a hot cup milk after school)

I'm sorry but yabu
your dd is not skinny. she's overweight.

yes children vary in height at lot but all children should be skinny to give them the best healthy start in life.

my 7yo weighs less than your dd, and is the tallest in class. dc is very muscular, but ribs are showing. dc is in 9yo clothes because of their height, but we are a tall family so that is expected.

The diet mentioned is very heavy and too much for a small child. Not much in the way of fruit and veg mentioned nor protein.
If as you say the portion sizes are small then it might be ok but it doesn't sound great.

Studies have shown despite our best efforts we can't always tell if our child is overweight visually.
Scientifically it makes sense; we worry about underfeeding our children, worry if they look too thin, and see them as being smaller than they are because in nature that would be the bigger problem. Getting enough food and specifically enough food into your child would have been our main mission.

So I think for the majority it's best to accept it's impossible for you to have a true image of your child and to go by checks like this instead. It's not a fault, it's just our biological imperative, and being a good parent by feeding your child, and going a little overboard because our biology isn't primed for supermarkets.

Breakfast this morning, ikeas small bowls

The more I'm reading / researching the more I'm understanding my portion sizes are too big and my dd is fat

The NHS calculator does take into account kids who are very tall, though, unless you mean taller than the 100th centile? My ds1 is 98th centile for height and underweight by the NHS calculator. The more I feed him, the taller he gets - he just won't grow out widthways and is not particularly interested in food. He normally says he is too full up to have a pudding and doesn't eat much at school, either. He's exactly the same build as his father - very tall and small framed. From birth onwards, he has been long and thin... I'm hoping when he stops growing quite so quickly, his weight will catch up! Looks like that won't be until after he's finished going through adolescence, though!

It is also worth considering the association between percent body fat and onset of menstruation. Many of those who were overweight/ obese in reception went on to start periods in yr4/ yr5. Not something you want your primary school child to face so young. Not the only factor in onset of puberty but one controllable factor. Also once menstruation has started then the growth rate tends to be only another 20-30cm so girls starting periods earlier tend to have a shorter adult height.

I think it's great that you dd is so active, keep that up.

That's not an Ikea small bowl, that's a normal size bowl.

If that's weetabix I think it's a lot. I would give one weetabix at 4. A portion on the packet is 2 but that's adult size.

Ps was talking to MsJamieFraser.

Thanks rixera that makes sense,
Lentils are protein so is fish, she had one boiled egg yesterday with 1 toast and apple, before I'd have given 2 toast plus peanut butter with her apple, feeling very fragile today about it, was up half the night googling fat kids / diets,
She's got a pert today and now I'm dreading it as scared of all the crap that will be on offer

Dtds are the same height as your dd and weigh more than a stone lighter than your dd. I don't even think they're particularly skinny (dd1 is 134cm and weighs 3stone 11lbs - but she's right at the bottom of her bmi).
I'm sorry but your dd is heavy for her height. That's why measurement is helpful as it's hard for parents to see.

She's doesn't need to diet, just think of portion sizes. Ie your an adult, surely you wouldn't eat more than 2 slices of bread for breakfast. So if you or Dh are eating 2 slices, you should see a child of 4 would need half that roughly.
Would you eat lentil soup ( which is filling), then add two slices of cheese on toast for yourself? For me as an adult I would be stuffed on that, so a child needs again at least half that.