To think nhs school height / weight check is useless

[Ellieboolou27]

Dd is 4.5 she's 3ft 7" and weighs 3st 9lb

The school did the height and weight check a few weeks ago and have sent a letter saying she is very overweight and they would like me to come in to discuss healthy eating.

I'm really shocked as dd is far from being very overweight
She does tap, swimming and multi sports weekly, as a family we eat normal family meals, she wears size 5-6 clothes, 6-7 in some shops like primark where they come up small.

She's certainly not skinny, but most certainly not very overweight!

I think this bmi checker is shit, according to the NHS online bmi checker my dh is obese, he is 6ft 2" and weighs 16st but is an ex body builder so is a big guy with not an ounce of fat on him.

Feeling awful

Sorry but she is quite overweight by those measurements but its good that you know and aren't in denial and will make changes to her diet.
As an aside, it shouldn't be three meals a day but five smaller meals a day eaten regularly at roughly three hours apart.

Just looked up the two pictures of August Gloop and it shows the big difference in how we view weight these days www.thesilo.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/GenerationalChangeinChildObesityExamples.jpg

overfed children grow taller as well as wider than their peers - the fact she is in bigger age clothes is telling.

Those pictures of Augustus Gloop are interesting!

I watched The Full Monty recently, having seen it 20 years or so ago when it was first out.

The "fat guy", Dave, looked anything but now more a bit plump, certainly not huge

The picture is harder to tell, but she does unfortunately seem to have a bit of a tummy and her arms seem quite big.
Both my children's tummies are completely flat, you can see ribs at front at back, and legs and arms slim

Does she get much excercise? Ie people say swimming, but that's driving there and 30 min splash, then drive home for many. In comparison ours swim 3-4 evenings a week with Dh or I. (They are 5 and 6). Each time they walk from school to home or my office, then from there walk to pool, 45mins full on length swimming, 15 mins playing around after diving etc. Then walk home.

We walk everywhere, most days they walk 5km just to and from school and after, and weekends more like 10km+ just walking between places or on actual walks.

OP the thing about the breakfast club is a different topic entirely. The school aren't doing these measurements themselves, it's the NHS. But well done for tackling g unhealthy eating in schools. I do think school meal choices are a good part of what's wrong in the UK.

You can see from her hands that she's pretty chunky. Sorry, but I agree with most of the other posters - your daughter is overweight. (I don't know where the boundary to VERY overweight goes though). We used to have Saturday Sweets, so sugary things only on Saturdays, and only what we could buy for about £2. Might be an idea :)

OP, can I just reiterate the point that the height and weight programme is run by the NHS. They do it in school because it's the most cost-effective way to weigh lots of children in one go.

I'm saying this because if you go in complaining about the letter and then bring the breakfast club cereals into it, they'll wonder what you're talking about.

OP when my dd was that height (around her 5th birthday and 50th centile) the 50th centile for weight on the chart shows 16kg or 2st 7lb which is what she weighed, give or take a pound or so.

Yours weighs 3st 9lb. That's more than a stone more - 45% heavier.

Primark clothes come up small? Thats news to me. I found them pretty accurate for my children.
I would suggest you look at portion sizes, OP, and possibly snacking as well.
You may well be doing everything right in regards to diet and encouraging exercise, but it's still possible to eat too much, even if it's what we think of as 'healthy foods'.
My eldest son had a 'rugby player' type build, he was chunky, very active, enjoyed his food, etc and this was encouraged at the time. Sadly, he is very overweight as an adult, and I wish I had been advised to keep an eye on his weight and cut down on his food when he was a child.
In contrast, my 2 younger children were 'skinny' as children and now have no trouble with their weight at all.
For your daughters sake, try not to get upset about this and accept the advice you are given.It's for her own good.
I often go swimming at the same time as schoolchildren, and honestly seeing them in their costumes I would say at least half are overweight. Not in the 'rolls of fat, big bellies' way we associate with adult obesity , but just a little bit too 'big'.

areyoufree
she cant be perfectly normal if she is heavier the 98% of other children of the same weight and height.
The photo is done at angle that models /photographers deliberately use to look slimmer(not saying that is what op did)
At that age my dd was 3ft 5 and stone lighter, she was on 50th centile for height and weight so "average"

FFS nobody is saying the kid is not normal. In fact, being overweight is very normal these days. It doesn't mean that she isn't overweight or that BMI is bollocks or all these fat YR kids will magically lose their 'puppy fat' and have growth spurts and become 'lovely and slim'.

Fat children turn into fat teenagers turn into fat adults. In general, not all of them, but at a population level. In general fat adults are unhealthier, even if it's just in terms of joint problems. The school is giving a heads up, not saying she is abnormal. It's supposed to be helpful and given the amount of people who are in complete denial about what is a healthy weight then it seems necessary.

Bruffin that wasn't aimed at you but rather the plethora of pp saying she is 'perfectly normal' therefore she can't be overweight. It is normal to be overweight these days.

I wouldnt go blaming nanny op. Thats not helpful. You're significantly overweight and your husband is too. Your daughter is clearly overweight sven on tiptoes. The problem is clearly at home. Have a very honest look at portion sizes. Lots of people are horrified when they weigh cereal / porriage for example and relaise they have been eating double the recommended amount their entire lives. A portion of anything is the fist size of the eater (rough guide) or flat hand of fish. My Parents have a terrible habit of eating veg, yeah!, with butter on, no!!! Snack on veg, never crisps or chocolate. Eat ONLY at the dining table to get out of the habit of mindless eating in front of the tv.

You wont get our families weight under control until you know what a healthy portion size looks like.

My DD is a couple of months older, 2 inches taller & 2lb lighter. So she's on the 75th centile. Was a little lower before starting school & the daily puddings after lunch...

How far do you / can she walk on average, before she's too tired? We don't have a car, live in mid-size town with terrible transport so we mostly walk - we'll all walk about 8-10k on an average weekend. DD is very active & loves dancing (can't afford classes), we just put a CD on & she'll go for ages.

Re the clothes - does your DD need them for the width or the length? I have a friend at work whose 6yo wears 10-11 but has to have everything turned up, she insists he's a perfect weight, it really doesn't work like that.

We don't really do sweets or puddings beyond a rare treat (not pleased at all with the daily school puddings). We buy one pack of 3 pure fruit smoothies for DD about every 2 weeks, no other sugary drinks. She does like sugary breakfast cereal but I'm working on that...

Overweight is not normal, though it has become very common & therefore familiar.

Slim (normal) looks skinny now as less familiar.

Very few babies are born overweight (just those of poorly-controlled diabetic mums really)

Your DD is definitely overweight. Start with portion sizes ( side plates are a good start) and keep up the exercise. As she grows, it will level out!

OP, this must be really difficult for you. Well done for taking the comments on board and deciding to cut down on snacks etc.

Have a think about what she's eating at home as well as what she's eating at breakfast club and nanny's.

OP, even the people who you're perceiving to be 'nasty' are just trying to help - maybe in a little blunter way than you'd like, but this is AIBU. I have a (small for her age) 7yo in the same size clothes as your DD - she's 10cm taller and 6kg lighter (4in and 13lb!).

I think you should take this not as a personal attack on your parenting but as an important piece of information you can act upon.

I wouldn't get too hung up on whether 'very overweight' is a fair description or not. The important bit is that you can address this now before it gets worse.

Good luck OP

What sort of things do people give as snacks as I've got into a bad habit of having lots of unhealthy snacks available.

@bruffin. Excellent. So 'normal' falls between a predetermined limit? Unless you mean a normal distribution, and then yes, I would agree. But there are always going to be outliers, and there are other factors than just body fat. Frame does make a difference, or whether the measurements are taken just before a growth spurt. Certainly, keeping an eye on her bmi, to check it doesn't keep increasing is a perfectly reasonable idea. However, I took umbrage to the chorus of people firstly labeling a (to my eyes a healthy weight) child as 'fat'. Plus, the automatic assumption that overweight people can't tell if their children are overweight.

The poster who mentioned the 'fat guy' in the Big Monty now appearing to be just a bit 'plump' is correct. In the 70's Elvis Presley was seen as being horrendously fat, how we view a morbidly obese person nowadays. Looking on you tube, he doesn't seem that fat, just well built (well, apart from his last year or so with his double chins). In contrast no one considered David Bowie or Karen Carpenter to be excessively thin or out of the ordinary. That just shows how perceptions of weight and body shape have changed.
Clearly there needs to be a middle line, of maintaining a healthy weight in a healthy manner.
It's not even just a question of udentifying overweight children, it's also there to find the smaller group of underweight, possibly malnourished children and help them as well.
There really is no need for parents to take this so personally. It's done to help their children.

I rememberseeing a documentary a few years ago about weight issues in childhood. They recommended that you should not look to achieve weight loss, but to keep the child's weight stable (as much as possible) as the child continued to grow. In effect they will 'grow into' their weight.

IT may have been 'too fat too toddle' which can be found on youtube