Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

I'm so upset

86 replies

LouBlue1507 · 20/01/2017 06:25

I slept in the spare room last night to get some decent sleep and DP stayed in our room with DD (nearly 6 months)

This morning he's told me she fell out of bed last night! He said DD seems ok, cried for a few minutes then went back to sleep.

I'm so upset. I feel guilty I wasn't there and angry that this happened. I'm trying not to be angry with DP, I know it's not his fault and these things happen.

I'm going to the GPs today so will ask them to check her over quickly for me.

OP posts:

BalloonSlayer · 21/01/2017 09:21

not man-bashing, it's someone-who-let-a-baby-roll-off-a-bed-in-the-night-bashing. Of course it was an accident, but an accident that would not have happened when the OP was looking after the baby because she knows the baby rolls now. And it is pretty likely she has mentioned it. After all, that's why people who have cots, have cots - because they don't think that co-sleeping is safe for whatever reason.

I did forget to add to my post though that I think the DH did the right thing not telling the OP. I would trust his judgement that the baby was OK. And it was good that he let her sleep and didn't bother her.

user1484317265 · 21/01/2017 17:02

f course it was an accident, but an accident that would not have happened when the OP was looking after the baby because she knows the baby rolls now

Rubbish. My baby rolled off the bed, I knew he could roll. But it was 4am and I was very tired, and did the lazy thing (according to you) and it happened anyway..
Good to know that if I'd posted on here you would have called me a lazy selfish parent who deserved a bollocking.

user1484317265 · 21/01/2017 17:09

After all, that's why people who have cots, have cots - because they don't think that co-sleeping is safe for whatever reason

This is a silly notion too. You can think co sleeping is perfectly safe and still not choose to do it. That is not the reason most people don't do it.

PollytheDolly · 21/01/2017 17:17

When my DS was newborn I was feeding him at night in bed and was so so knackered I feel asleep with my cheek resting on his head....

I woke up suddenly and he was sound asleep but his head was egg shaped. . I thought I'd brain damaged him! God I was worried sick, took him to the docs. He was fine, his bones hadn't fused thus moved a bit.

Thank god my XH was the way he was. Don't worry, things happens, he is fine. Him getting mad at me would've sent me over the edge with guilt!

Couldn't have been too bad, he is now about to study his Doctorate in chemistry...so he is still an egg head

UnbornMortificado · 21/01/2017 17:46

Hope your DS is ok Lou

BalloonSlayer · 21/01/2017 21:48

For goodness' sake, user, I'm just trying to sympathise with a poster under stress. Not trying to attack you, or the parenting decisions you made, unknown to me personally.

If you posted a thread saying "my baby rolled off the bed" I would try to support you too. Because, you know, you had posted looking for support.

user1484317265 · 22/01/2017 12:35

You are empathising by attacking OP's partner, not me. Keep track of who you are having a pop at!
It's unhelpful.
And yes, that was my point entirely. If I posted about doing exactly the same as what the OP's partner did, you would be nice and understanding. But because he has a penis you called him lazy and irresponsible and encouraged OP to be angry at him for a simple accident. Why do you imagine that would be helpful to anyone?

Chloe84 · 22/01/2017 13:08

I remember when my baby niece fell off the bed on my watch when I was much younger...I was inconsolable and sobbed until I had a headache.

I thought I'd brain damaged my niece and pleaded with God that I would be a good person forever if my niece was unharmed.

BalloonSlayer · 22/01/2017 16:09

I think it's helpful because the OP has been taken apart by posters who thought she was over-reacting to a baby falling off the bed. She is already anxious and depressed and people were calling her neurotic.

It's nothing to do with him "having a penis" - my comments mentioning him being a man were in response to the tone I detected that people didn't think a man would necessarily realise this would happen. My comments about him being male were clearly sarcastic.

Being supportive to someone depends on how they are feeling about the issue in question. If the OP's DP - or anyone else - had posted saying "My baby fell off the bed, I feel absolutely terrible that this happened, it's all my fault, I am worried she might have brain damage" yes of course I would have been nice, encouraging and reassuring. But if they had posted saying "AIBU to think my DW is silly and over-reacting because I let the baby roll off the bed in the night and she is upset with me and wants the baby checked at the Doctors" I would give them a completely different response. And I think you know very well that's what I meant.

BalloonSlayer · 22/01/2017 16:30

but, user, having thought for a few minutes after posting the above I suspect you are right and that I am employing a double standard somewhere, no matter how much I say I am not. The lady doth protest too much and all that !

user1484317265 · 22/01/2017 16:35

Very gracious of you, very few people would have said that. Stay classy, BalloonSlayer

Flip

1 2 3 4