I'm a regular on here, however NCed because this post is very personal. I've been married to DH for six and a half years, we have two DC. DH has a good job earns over £150k per year( in a good year teice that). He has always made it clear he wants our DC to go to private school and now our second child is coming up to that age. We live in London. I have been a SAHM for the last five years. I literally do everything at home and am totally financially dependent on him. Before the DC I worked and earned about £32k a year. However when we met I had some debts quite large ones after being made reundant several times, helping my brother during the recession, a bad friendship with an alcoholic friend who I was too weak to say no too and I had depression, and paid for a hiludau with DH. DH works long hours, mocks me, never does anything for the children, and gives me very little money (£1000 a month) I know to some people this is loads, but we live in huge house in London, he eats like a horse and has loads of allergies and expects me to pay for car maintaince, street parking outside the house £220 per annum, food (read fancy cheese, organic stuff), presents for his family usually £50 a pop, phone and broadband, kids presents, dinner parties, clothes, petrol, any handymen or plumbers and it's an old house so stuff goes wrong often. He pays the mortgage and utilities. But I'm not on the house deeds, it's for the most part paid off. He also has a flat he owns and rents out, I manage the tenants. He is never around in the evenings because he is at work I do everything with the kids, I rarely go out in the evenings, I never feel I can count on him on Saturday's he lies in till 11 then likes to go out yo fancy restaurants for lunch. He rarely plays with the kids but when he does he is good but it's easy to be good when you only do it two hours a week. I cook from scratch everyday, do all housework get up with the kids, always put them to bed etc. He is also a heavy drinker and drinks about half to a whole bottle of wine a night. Awhile back he told me he just has a low libido and maybe it will come back but basically he's not interested, I feel hurt but tbh I've gone off him because he humiliates me. I will never be as clever or earn as much as him, but now he says I must get a proper job by September so I can pay one set of school fees, I'm happy to work but I feel division of money is quite uneven if I have to pay school fees probably around £20000 a year when you factor in uniforms, transport and school lunches. AIBU to think this is all a bit unfair. He also has lots of savings, investments and a big pension pot. He cancelled the joint accpunt because he thought I was having a negative impact on his credit rating. When I say joint account he put money in and never used it but kept track on everything I spent and ig I had toask for extra money he makes me grovel, when we opened it he said, if you need more just ask but it hasn't been like that.
Sorry about the long ramble but do you think I'm being unreasonable to be a bit taken aback about paying one set of school fees? I know I'll still do everything else at home too, I don't know where to start with a job he always laughs at what I say, patronizes me and I hust feel soo useless.