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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to feel obliged to give more money?

13 replies

Supermagicsmile · 18/01/2017 20:13

Someone I work with is running the London Marathon this year. Everything she raises is going to be fantastic charity and I have donated money to her already for this.
She is now doing a charity auction in addition to us and would like us to all buy raffle tickets. Anyone who hasn't bought any is on her list and each time she sees us in passing she is mentioning that we need to buy them. I don't like raffles and would rather just give her another £5.

AIBU to be a little annoyed that she expects everyone to buy raffle tickets on top of our donations? It's not so much the buying tickets but the fact she expects us all to pay out again. It's not a 'would you like to buy them' but being told we have to. Hmm I would rather give another £5 because I want to, not because she has harassed me to.

OP posts:
TammySwansonxx · 18/01/2017 20:15

People like this are so annoying. I on,y sponsor the exceptional these days - if running is your hobby, why am I paying you to do it?

Magzmarsh · 18/01/2017 20:18

There's a Catherine Tate character like this. YANBU, very annoying.

mya83 · 18/01/2017 20:19

Next time she mentions you need to buy a raffle ticket just say, "oh I already donated towards your marathon, did you forget?" And just make light of her 'memory loss'

mya83 · 18/01/2017 20:20

Yanbu by the way! I hate when people pressure you this way!

Honeyandfizz · 18/01/2017 20:22

Yanbu this pisses me off too. A woman was leaving my team and there was a list of all those who hadn't yet donated £5 towards her leaving gift. I like her so gave to the collection but I don't think people should be harassed and shamed into it.

lalalalyra · 18/01/2017 20:27

This annoys the life out of me.

No, I'm not going to sponsor you to do something you've always wanted to do to raise funds for an organisation I don't support/agree with.

And yes, it is different to the fact I'm sponsoring someone else who is doing something totally out of their comfort zone (fear of heights doing an abseil) because several people - not them - saw the advert and said they'd sponsor them if they did and the money raised will go to the hospice their husband is in.

AdoraBell · 18/01/2017 20:32

The only reason I know you don't work with my MIL is because she is retired.

yanbu, remind her that you have already sponsored her and this charity.

silkpillowcase · 18/01/2017 20:32

if running is your hobby, why am I paying you to do it?

Omg so so true....

I know someone running the marathon through a charity so must raise X amount, her reason for running is "if you can't beat me join em" as her dh is an avid runner, always away doing long distance runs! 🙄

Crowdblundering · 18/01/2017 20:37

We had a lady at work (she was a volunteer which made it worse) who kept trying to almost pressure sell people into buying Earls Yard products. It was bloody embarrassing and awkward.

This is just as bad YANBU.

harderandharder2breathe · 18/01/2017 20:40

I'm doing the Marie Curie Swimathon. It is a challenge for me as I'm s rubbish swimmer. I share the link to donate on FB about once a week (when I've been "training"). So far only family have donated. I thank them privately and would never pressurise anyone to sponsor me. I haven't asked people in person and don't intend to.

Having a list of people who haven't bought raffle tickets even though they have donated in other ways is ridiculous!

Italiangreyhound · 18/01/2017 20:52

YANBU. You say "I don't like raffles and would rather just give her another £5." So just give her the £5 and don't take the tickets. Or say to her "PSallyPenny/Phennella I thin it is great that you are doing this but I have already sponsored you/donated/have donated to other things this season... whatever, so please could you take me off your list of people to harass chase up.

Any answer about 'a little but more or a good cause' should be met with a broad smile, a 'well done, it is a good cause, and one I have already supported.'

She's shooting herself in the foot really because runners love running, I'm married to one, and she will be asking for something else later this year. Just be polite and speak to her without others around. If she repeats what you say in a sarcastic way just explain that it's really of putting for fundraisers to press people. Good luck.

(Come back and tell us what you do, please!)

GiantHulkHands · 18/01/2017 21:31

I agree with Italiangreyhound. Good luck Op, Yanbu!!

KC225 · 18/01/2017 21:48

Another one agreeing with Italiangreyhound. I may use that one myself

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