Mad about marker ban

[ScienceOven]

This evening my DSs and I were colouring with markers. I took DS1 to the bathroom for one minute, during which the DS2 (2.5 y.o.) decided to draw on the tile floor.

It came off the tiles ok, but not the grout. As I was scrubbing away, DH comes home and has a go at me for letting the kids use the markers. Now, he has said in the past that the kids should not be allowed markers at all, until they know not cause trouble with them (how will they learn that without ever using them? ). According to him, that would be around the age of 4 or 5.

We rent, but the furniture is ours, so any damage done with markers would be limited to the tile floor and walls. Anyway, he said that I have to get the marker off the grout right away or find a way to pay for it (I am a SAHM, so that comment made me feel just lovely). So him and the kids had dinner that I had made while I ended up scrubbing at the damn grout

It all came off, kids are in bed and I am eating reheated dinner and mad as hell at him for being such an ass to me. Now, I know he expects me to say sorry for "not listening to him and giving kids markers" but I feel that he should be the one apologising for having a go at me and insisting I clean right away, instead of after dinner. AIBU?
Also, marker ban - who is right?

I totally agree with other posters that your dh behaved badly etc, but I thought I would tell you this story.

We used to live in rented house. Dh was working on his laptop, and dd2 was 2 and pottering about in pjs.
I did morning school run, was gone 10 minutes max.

I returned to dh still on his laptop and a scene of complete devastation.
dd2 was potty trained, but had done a pooh in pjs, which, being pjs were loose. It had slid out on to floor, and she had trodden it all over rug (ours and the floor (Landlords)
At the same time she had found a purple marker pen. A kids washable (Ha ha) marker. She had drawn all over the wall, all over the radiator and the door and round into downstairs bathroom. All over bath, basin, loo and shower. All over tiled floor, door, shower curtain and radiator.

It came off the tiles, bath, basin etc with flash. It came off the doors painted in gloss paint. It would not come off the walls for love nor money. It also would not come off the radiators.

I repainted the walls, after 5 coats, only I could see where the pen had been. The radiator took us 6 months to clean. Every time we used the bathroom we would scrub away at a corner, 20 minutes scrubbing took off about 1/2 cm of pen.

I have always been strict with where and how they use pens, as ds was a nightmare for drawing on things. Pens kept out of reach and used under supervision, and used on kitchen table. Mantra of our house, pens are for paper. Even biros and pencils had to be out of reach ds would pick them up and go straight for a wall.
Once we were given bath crayons, dh and I looked at each other and got rid of them quickly.

But depsite my best efforts, 10 minutes with an unobservant dh and an errant pen (and dd2 who was not known for pen nightmares) caused us more stress than pretty much anything else they had done til then.

I'm so torn on this. On one hand he spoke to you in an atrocious manner.

On the other hand, why did you go against his wishes about marker pens without discussing it until you both reached agreement. Was acting out or reacting out?

You are coparenting and if you can't agree on marker pens you are going to find the next 16.5years + pretty stressful.

why didnt you just put some bleach down on the grouting and leave it to sit?

but seriously - your DH was out of order

Your dh shouldn't have shouted at you like that, defo an over reaction, but I agree with a marker ban until they're older, (I would also worry about them sniffing them out of curiosity, not just drawing on walls, doors, each other etc). Ds is 6 and we still keep pens in a jar out of his reach, as kids can take mad whims. My sister used to destroy books by scribbling in them until she was about 7 or 8 (usually mine). Probably just as well he can't get at pens, he drew us a lovely family portrait in pencil and crayon above his bed a few months ago. I waited a while then just rubbed it out (darkish paint on wall thank god).