... To be annoyed at parents organising parties for the last week in January

[Everexpanding]

Is it not a truth universally acknowledged that the vast majority of people are super skint the last week in January, could you wait one more week to organise your child's party, four invites received this week for this weekend arghhh small school everyone knows when parties are on, just enough for food seriously can't stretch to four presents, everything broke this month super screwed

Why the prejudice against books/book tokens? confused

Gift tokens are an okay gift, but suggesting them as an alternative to gifts insn't "taking pressure off parents", it's actually the opposite, because it shows that you think £5 is a "cheap" gift, when for must it's a substantial gift especially for a class party

Turning up, is the alternative to gifts that takes pressure off parent's

"Oh no need for expensive presens just a £5 gift token will do" - is not! at all.

Yeah, whatever. Just making a suggestion

Well they can't change their children's birthdays. Perhaps the whole world should have a sex ban imposed in the month of April. Preventing any January births, so as not to annoy you.

My DSs party is in the last week of Jan.

He and I would be happier if the child came with a box of malteasers or a bag of Haribo than didn't come at all. He's got a mate who I know money can be tight for and although I always say presents aren't needed the mum often 'forgets' the present on the birthday and remembers and gives him a little something in Feb.

I second a box of Malteasers though if you feel you need to give something- the parents will understand and the kids will be chuffed.

YABU

Perhaps they should move their child's birthday for you as well?

At my son's 9th birthday his favourite party gift was a "tin" with a ring pull lid full of salted peanuts (yes, I know you have to be sure the child doesn't have a nut allergy!) 49p at Aldi :o Great present choice because it was clearly chosen at Aldi by the child who actually knows my son personally and not a generic but higher priced random bit of tat or duplicate book :o

I've pushed back my child's birthday party. I was rash enough to have him in August, during the school holidays. Turns out people like to go away for a summer holiday around the time of his birthday (why not, we have too)... So of the 15 invited, 11 would have been away somewhere. But because we wanted children to be able to come, we held it in September instead. Ds was quite happy as his friends could actually come, which was the important thing for us, and luckily not concerned that his birthday was the month before.

And obviously, I would not have given a shiny poo if someone hadn't brought a present. I wanted to treat ds and his friends to a fun party, not add a net gain to the amount of stuff he has. I'd feel awful if any parent made an excuse not to accept the invitation because they couldn't afford a present. That's not what kids' parties are given for imo.

For those who are saying others don't get being skint by telling her to plan - from the OP it seemed that she is skint in January because of Christmas, but would be fine in February, as she thought clearly the parents were being U to arrange a party in January when the vast majority of people are super skint - but most people aren't - so it's not unreasonable to arrange a party at the end of January if your child's birthday is at the end of January.

It wouldn't occur to me that others couldn't afford to buy a gift at the end of January, I have a DC with a December birthday and am aware that most people are skint then due to Christmas, but most people pay for Christmas gifts and foods in November and December, that's when most of our friends are crying off things due to being 'skint' due to paying for Christmas, after January pay day (usually last week of January!), most people are back to normal financially - so if they can't afford it a gift then, then the couldn't afford it in February/March/April etc.

That said, if there's 4DCs in the same class with January birthday, I'm surprised that at least 2 haven't arranged a joint party! (around here, the norm for joint parties is to take 1 gift but 2 cards then the birthday children share out the gifts but take the cards for them).

My DS in a January baby and has managed to make friends with every single child in his year group born in January. We have 10 parties this month (10!!). Luckily I am in a position I can afford to get a gift for each child but I know parents who have come to my DS party in the past who couldnt afford a gift. My DS doesn't care about gifts he just wants his friends at his party and that's the way it should be!

YABU. What are we supposed to do if our kids were born in the last week of January?!

the thread has probably moved on as its taken me ages to read it.

ds birthday is 31st jan. we're not on a huge income so have scrimped and saved and made sure he has presents and a party as wouldnt want him to miss out.

I would also hate that one of his friends couldn't come because his parent was too proud to stick a £1 bag of haribo or malteasers to a cheap or even homemade card. I would much rather that or if pride wouldn't let you, an excuse about delivery and a small present after the even , than for potentially ds's best friend to not come to his party.

However having said all of that 4 party's is a lot in a month and id maybe look at only going to those that are held by my dc friend and not just a class mates whole class party. I know that there have been plenty of party's over the years that the dc have attended and barely knew the child and found myself thinking why have we come?

YABVVVU, my son's birthday is on the 27th Jan, can't help when he is born.

Budget better

I'm sorry, I've never even considered the idea that people might have financial difficulties in January. I can see, now you've pointed it out, that some people might. It's not so much thoughtlessness on the hosts' part as lack of exposure to people who have financial difficulty.

However, I would never ever expect someone to feel obliged to bring a present. If you go with a homemade card, or a homemade card and a small bag of maltesers or something, surely that's acceptable? Our kids get so many presents it's overwhelming, I'd actually be quite relieved if people didn't bring a present (though I wouldn't want someone to feel awkward).

Look out for bargains, The Works have a sale on at the minute and I've stocked up a few presents for future parties 👍

Not the child's fault they were born in January so yes YABU a tad, sorry!

Also, as is probably obvious from my post above, we do not have financial difficulties at all, we're incredibly lucky, but we also don't spend much on birthday presents.

I buy multi-packs of cards - cheapest seem to be multipacks in M&S and also The Book People do boxes of cards and they work out at about 20p each rather than £1-3.

I also buy boxes of books at The Book People, and then divide them up, giving 1 away as a present with maybe some hair slides, or pens, also picked up in the sale. Though of course you need the cash to buy in bulk in the first place, I do appreciate that might be problematic, but if you can do it, it saves a hell of a lot of money.

And I bought a pack of "age x" birthday cards to use throughout the year, really cheap from Card Factory rather than £2/3 a time 😃👍

What's this 'thing' about home made cards? A few people have said this now. That involves me getting the craft box out for my kid to produce a) a lot of mess and b) something that looks like the dog made it dipping his tail in paint

Seven cards for a quid in Card Factory absolutely zero need to pay three quid

Well I've got a January birthday & I don't remember ever not getting a party because of the timing. So glad my son was 9 days late and was a Feb birthday & people can buy his present on next month's credit card. I would rather have my children's friends with them to celebrate without a present (or a little token) than them turn down an invite. Could you do a present voucher for something you can pay at a later date, along lines of, "this voucher is to give birthday child a fun day out at cinema/soft play etc with "insert your dc's name" on "insert a day that you've arranged with the other mum or put a time frame". As a Jan birthday girl you do see a vast stretch of nothing between Birthday & Xmas so a treat in a month or 2's time would be appreciated by this Jan birthday girl at least

The 'thing' about home made cards is that if you're down to your last coppers a pack of even cheap cards can mean you have no money for bread. Most parents will have pens and paper in the house which aren't overly messy. And kids tend to like that their friends have made them something - even if it looks shit. Home made cards are the only ones my kids keep.

Home made cards don't need to be lots of
Glue and glitter. They can simply be a sheet of A4 with a lovely picture drawn in felt tip pen.
Dd is 10 and often still puts little hand drawn cards in with the shop brought card. Her friend often do the same back as well.

Definitely YABU.
Buy presents in advance in the xmas sales. things under tenner.

or decline. or say '
present to come, i ordered mail order and it hasn't arrived
i forgot
i haven't had time to buy.
But shock horror at getting pregnant whitsuntide week and having late jan babies. who would be so rude?!

I am sorry you are skint though. not a nice feeling.

Haven't RTFT so don't know if this has been said already but blame the MayDay bank holiday for the cluster of late January birthdays (40 weeks later).

YABU why not switch your birthday to January next year to see what it feels like to be a burden because of when your parents conceived

Yanu.

You can always give an iou present. My kids bdays fall either side of xmas. But it's not their fault. On the plus side they get all their Xmas presents so really no need for people to bring anything more than a token gift to their party.