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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... To be annoyed at parents organising parties for the last week in January

271 replies

Everexpanding · 17/01/2017 15:51

Is it not a truth universally acknowledged that the vast majority of people are super skint the last week in January, could you wait one more week to organise your child's party, four invites received this week for this weekend arghhh small school everyone knows when parties are on, just enough for food seriously can't stretch to four presents, everything broke this month super screwed

OP posts:
LittleLionMansMummy · 18/01/2017 05:06

Yabu. My birthday is 30th Jan. I would have been seriously pissed off as a child if my parents hadn't marked the occasion.

Decline some invitations. Easy.

MrsWombat · 18/01/2017 08:11

Sorry, I haven't RTFT but could you give the £1 box of malteasers and apologize and say the presents were ordered online and haven't arrived yet. Even skip the malteasters and just give the card and apologises if you are that skint.

Sorry for the skintness. Winter is a horrible time for extra expenses. Even if you are lucky enough to plan your budget over the year things still crop up. We are only human after all. Flowers

SnugglySnerd · 18/01/2017 08:17

The Works is excellent for cheap books, craft sets and jigsaws. I stock up on cheap gifts there and also when the Book People come into work. I have got some really good sets from them e.g. 10 Julia Donaldson books for £10. I usually choose a couple for DD and give the rest as gifts at parties.

helpimitchy · 18/01/2017 08:18

My birthday is at the end of January and nobody can ever be bothered Sad

People go on about December birthdays being shit, but January is even worse.

I haven't had a birthday celebration for donkeys years. I just don't bother 'cos I know nobody else can be bothered.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/01/2017 08:37

4 parties for the same weekend? Pick one or ask dc which party to go to and go to that

Make a card and go to £ shop and buy some nice bubble bath - book / colouring stuff - sweets etc

Oblomov17 · 18/01/2017 09:26

My birthday is the end of Jan. Sorry about that. Hmm
If you can't manage your finances, then maybe you should concentrate on that, rather than flaming party invitations.
Do all the invitees a favour and decline all 4.

TinselTwins · 18/01/2017 11:18

parties on top of it all would have had me in tears
I would have wanted my DC to go (and they would have wanted to go) and I would have been far too proud to quietly ask the birthday child's parents whether it would be possible to give a delayed present as money was too tight at that time of the year.

Seriously? you have to deal with your "pride" issues. Thats on you not the hosts

Surely when you're skint, an invite for 2 hours of FREE kids entertainment plus the kids get fed is a relief? it is for me anyway. The gift is optional, or can be from £1. If you're too "proud" to send your kids without a gift/flash gift and would rather decline than show up without a big wrapped gift, then you have issues that are holding your kids back.

You don't have to tell the host you're skint, they'ld just be glad your kid showed up, and if you RSVPed too they'll be DELIGHTED.

TinselTwins · 18/01/2017 11:23

I think it's totally wrong that there are posters on here who would make their kid miss out on a party (and have the birthday child miss having their friend there) just because they, the adults, are too "proud" to go without a gift and them wanting to only show up to things where they can appear bountiful is more important that the kids having fun together to celebrate a birthday Sad

Have a chat with yourselves!

Hygellig · 18/01/2017 11:31

My daughter had about 15 presents from her whole-class party. It was too much really and she certainly wouldn't have noticed or minded if some children hadn't brought a gift, or had brought something like a packet of sweets. She had plenty of fun playing with her friends and seeing them outside of school.

YerAWizardHarry · 18/01/2017 11:33

YABU. It's DS' 4th birthday on Sunday and that's when his party is. I wouldn't want to make him wait another 2 weeks for a weekend in February

Mablethorpe · 18/01/2017 11:38

Oh dear, how inconsiderate of me to have a child on 28th January.

It's his birthday then, not the week after, so he'll have his party that weekend thanks!

FWIW, I couldn't care less whether his party friends bring a gift. A card can be bought on the high street for 19p these days and that and their company is quite enough.

helpimitchy · 18/01/2017 12:54

I suppose it's best to get the January borns used to having a crap birthday early on so so they can get used to it sooner rather than later.

When I was arranging ds1's parties, I used put on the invitations 'we'd love to see you there, if you're not sure what to buy as a gift, a small book token would be greatly appreciated'. Then, the other parents aren't under any pressure to buy some fancy gift.

TinselTwins · 18/01/2017 12:56

snort at "just" a "small book token"….

Mama3babies · 18/01/2017 12:56

YABU but I totally get the skintness (damn you tax return!). Honestly you can buy discounted toys in the sales, regift something from Christmas (so guilty of this myself!), get your Dc to make a card and even the wrapping if needed by drawing on some plain sheets of paper to make personalised wrapping. It's your dc they want there not your gift. I bet they won't think your gift is anything less than thoughtful whatever it is xx

Scruffles · 18/01/2017 13:00

My 4 year old daughter just had a birthday party with about 12 guests. I honestly couldn't tell you if anyone came that didn't bring a present, and even if they did I really couldn't care less. I would much rather a child come to her party with no present but be there to have fun than miss it because the parents couldn't afford to get anything.

Oh, and ask her what her favourite Christmas present was and she'll tell you it was the frozen sticker book that my friend sent for her that came from the pound shop. So glad I spent all that money on a toy kitchen for her!

helpimitchy · 18/01/2017 13:02

What's the matter with a small book token? You can just spend a fiver or stick a £5 in. Just give a card if you can't afford £5. People turning up is more important than some gift Hmm

Lazyafternoon · 18/01/2017 13:14

In all the kids parties we've been to there is normally a table or place where presents are put when you arrive. No one checks (or cares!) who brought what if at all. The only time I've noticed is when DS opened one present it was obviously way more than would have expected - must have been £15-20 and made me feel really uncomfortable they'd spent so much! So I don't get the pride thing. I only got over it when DH pointed out that it was probably a regifted toy as it was from a little girl a couple months older and very DS sort of thing, but really not the type of thing this girl would have played with!

I'd also really recommend being more organised!!! Bulk buy cards and gifts when you see them on offer. My mum always had a 'present cupboard' we chose something from for birthday parties. I'm doing the same now! No stress about having to buy something for each party, just stock up in the sales or store unwanted / duplicate gifts your DC get.

TinselTwins · 18/01/2017 13:20

What's the matter with a small book token? You can just spend a fiver or stick a £5 in. Just give a card if you can't afford £5. People turning up is more important than some gift

well they way you put it it's basically implying you must bring a gift of at least £5 value, (which is more than I spend on whole class gifts, a £5 book voucher is not cheaper than a gift.

Foxedme · 18/01/2017 13:20

It's no picnic for the parents! I have two with January birthdays... both should've been born in different months! But you get to buy them pressies in the January sales so you're winning! We still have to pay for the party or parties in my case after Christmas! Count yourself lucky!

helpimitchy · 18/01/2017 13:29

Well, just give a homemade card then.

kierenthecommunity · 18/01/2017 13:29

They still do book tokens? Who knew?

kierenthecommunity · 18/01/2017 13:30

Why a homemade card?

helpimitchy · 18/01/2017 13:30

Why the prejudice against books/book tokens? Confused

It's an easy, inexpensive way of giving a gift.

MotherofA · 18/01/2017 13:31

We couldn't get a party for the beginning of Jan when DSS birthday is, got middle Jan then the place had double booked and cancelled ours so it had ended up being near the end .... we didn't want that date or time . It was all we could get but gave invites out prior to Christmas so people had plenty of notice .
Decline some if you really can't afford them or go to b&m etc . I have declined in the past when there have been too many close together .
Not the parents fault when children are born though haha who wants a Jan birthday no one Smile

helpimitchy · 18/01/2017 13:32

Because if someone can't afford a gift then they might not be able to afford a card. Some of the birthday cards I've seen are around £3.

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