To ask about your relationship with your siblings?

[anametouse]

Honestly because I'm trying to decide if i should have another baby (fertility problems so can't leave it to fate, I have the money for another round of IVF which is how DS got here)

People keep saying he should have a sibling, but I don't know anyone who is close to their siblings. I'm an only child and was always happy as one.

How is your relationship with your siblings, were they a vital part of your childhood, do they make you happy?

Do what's best for you, please ignore other people (especially as it's not as easy or plain sailing for you as it is for others).

I find it so f**king rude how people comment on giving your child a sibling, I had that mentioned to me when my baby was 1 week old!!!

My siblings, in fact my entire family aren't really close. Not in bad terms at all, and I have their backs 100%. I would never let anyone speak bad of my family, yet I'm not best friends with them.

My children are really close. Brother/sister. It's a pleasure to see them together as they dote off each other (age 3 and 1). I know it won't be like this forever, but it makes me extremely happy now x

My sisters are my best friends - they are so important to me. And my DH really values his relationships with his siblings and gets on with them all.

But I have several friends who were only children and who were (and are!) very well balanced and happy.

I have one younger sibling. We weren't close as children and we aren't close now.

On the other hand, DH has three siblings and is quite close to all of them.

Our DC are in their late teens and early twenties and so far are very close. I really hope it'll stay that way.

I'm from a large family and most of us don't get on.

I would have loved to be an only, one of my school friends was and I was very envious of her lovely, calm home life.

I have an older sister she is 4 years and 8 months older than me we fought like cat and dog when we where growing up but since we both moved out we get on so much better now we still have our moments but we do love each other. Do what is right for you though.

Neither me nor DP get on with our siblings. In my case I have tried
It's completely random, no guarantees. I am envious of friends who have close sibling relationships

I have one sister- she's 13 months younger. As kids we fought a lot but also played together a lot and had a lot of fun- I'm glad she was there.

We went through a patch of really not getting on at all in late teenage years/ Uni and werent close during our twenties and early thirties really. Lived in different cities and eventually, different countries, and had very different lifestyles

I have DS and DD. Two years apart. They get on pretty well.
We've both now mellowed a bit and have got a lot closer in our mid-late thirties/forties.

The problem is, all this is just anecdotal- I know happy onlies and onlies who desperately wished they had siblings, and people with siblings who they like and those with siblings they hate.

Sorry- bit about getting on better in forties applies to me and dsis, not my kids- they;re still v young

My younger (by 4.5 years) sister and I didn't get along well at all as kids. When I was in my late teens/early 20s I would have said that if something happened to our parents I'd probably never speak to her again. Now I'm 30 and we quite close. Not best friends but we text most days and spend time together when we can.

Two older sisters, 7 and 10 years older than me. Love them both to bits but probably closer to the one as 'friends' who is 7 years older. We bickered as kids but I really looked up to her and she was very protective of me.

Ds (6) adores his little sister and will likely be similarly very protective of her. But he'd never been particularly bothered about having a sibling prior to her birth. My dad was an only child and was perfectly happy. Whatever you decide op, it'll be fine and it's up to you to make it work. My dniece is an IVF child and is an only child. She's not lonely as dsis ensures she does lots of activities with other children, including her cousins.

I have two older brothers and 1 younger sister and 1 younger brother.
My older brothers and I have the same mother but different fathers. We have always been really close. I would hate to imagine my life with out them. No matter what is going on in our lives we know we can always count on each other. We were raised and still to this day are told "to remember when our mother and grandparents are gone, we will only have each other!" And we live by it. It's a bit morbid but it's because my mums twin and only sibling was killed when they were teens and it's made her a little strange (obviously). We fought like cats and dogs when we were kids and still do at times but god help anyone stupid enough to get involved as well put up a united front against them and then continue our fight later. Having said that I love my brothers dearly and they are both very close friends as well as my brothers.
My younger siblings are no contact. They don't even know that I exist and I hate it. We have the same father but he walked out on me when I was 5. When we tried to rebuild a relationship I was informed that my younger siblings weren't to know I was their sister at all. They were too young and couldn't deal with the trauma. When I first got back in contact with my father at 16 my little sister was 18 months and my little brother wasn't born yet. It's safe to say building a relationship with my father didn't work out but I do hope when my little sister and brother are older and find out about me they will reach out. My aunt and cousins are in contact and will be able to send them my way.

My three children are all under 6 but very close and love each other dearly. I love watching them play together and spend time with each other. My 2 year old adores her 6 month old sister. Constantly kissing and cuddling her. When she gets up in the morning or from a nap she runs straight over yelling baby and cuddle. It is the most adorable thing in the world. My girls are very close now, although I do dread the teenage years. My 5 year old loves his baby sisters very much and just wants to play or cuddle or hold them. He is a great big brother. Although they scream and shout at each other they are very close and I hope it stays that way.

Which ever decision you come to, all that really matters is that your little one knows they are loved and are healthy and happy. Good luck OP, I hope which ever decision you choose works out for you x

Love my sister ❤ (3 yrs older)
We're very close and always have been.

My sister and I get on really well. We are 3 years apart. Yeah, we would sometimes bicker as children but not to horrendous levels. I'd hate to not have her in my life.

I am really excited to make my DD a big sister at some point but I agree it has to be your decision. Don't do it if you only want one.

I was an only and really resent that shit that onlies are lonely, or selfish or whatever else lazy-thinking myth people come up with.

DH is one of 4. He is NC with two siblings (both have alcohol, drug and violence issues) and we get along okay with one sister who is quite nice.

My DF is one of 4- he is nc with one sibling (she has gambling issues and DF lent her loads of money that she has never repaid). he has a luke warm relationship with one. DMum is also one of 4 and I have had many thread on MN about her very toxic upbringing and the ways in which that has affected her, and my childhood. That is definitely the fault of her abusive parents though, not necessarily the siblings.

So, I personally think the key issue is the dynamics in the family and not any prescribed idea of siblings and what having a sibling means.

Sorry, I sound quite angry.

Point is - if you want another child, then that is wonderful and I wish you and your family much love and luck.

But it irritates me immensely when other people say that onlies ought to have a sibling, or that you have to have another to 'give' your DC1 a sibling. You have a child for that child, not as a kind of living doll for someone else.

What matters if YOU and YOUR DH and YOUR child9ren). Not what other people think you ought to do.

I have 4 older brothers. The 3 oldest were a bit too old to be playmates but I was close to the oldest and the second oldest. The youngest of my brothers was pretty much my best friend throughout childhood until I hit the early teens (by late teens we were good friends again). I have so many happy memories of my brothers, especially the odd time when the older ones would deign to play with me.

As adults I don't keep much contact with my brothers but when we get a chance to see each other its really nice, just like old times. When me and the youngest get together its like being kids again, telling the same old jokes and laughing and climbing trees and stuff :) He'll always be my best friend in a way and I'm gutted that we don't get to see each other much (I live abroad).

I had a good relationship with my sister growing up and we still get on, although we live a distance away from each other (different countries) and only tend to meet once or twice a year. We were of an age gap where we did not go to each school at the same time, so had our own identity as it were.

Unfortunately my parents did not have much of a relationship with their respective siblings.

I have an older brother (1.5y) and younger sister (6y). Growing up my bro and I did everything together and I never really had a relationship with my sis. However in adulthood I have an amazing relationship with her and couldn't imagine life without her, even though at times she can be selfish and annoying. I have a good relationship with my bro, see him often. I have 2 DD'S 18mo apart and I worry about the bickering but hope they bond. My mum is pivotal in out sibling relationship. She goes on about having nobody else after she dies (our dad is dead ) so I think that matters to us.

I have none. I'm surrounded by friends who are close to their siblings and very envious. My adult DC are all close to each other. The hardest it's been for me has been since my parents died and when they were old and ill.

There is 12 months and three weeks between me and my sister and I love the bones of her.

As young children we had the best time together, we used to make up silly games, we'd make up silly songs, we shared everything and we spent every day with each other just having fun.

As we grew up into Secondary School age we remained close, we shared the same friends, we socialised together at nights and weekends and again our life was pretty much wrapped up in each other and it stayed this way until we hit ages where we moved away for Uni, met our partners etc.

We are in our 30s now and she's still my best friend and we still share the same group of friends we did at school/college and I still try and see her as much as possible but it can be difficult as we both work and have children. I would say we see each other about once a fortnight but we usually text daily.

Me and my sister can sit down and reminisce about our childhood for hours on end and we can laugh until we cry about all the hilarious memories we have of what we used to get up to. Every single happy memory of my childhood involves her and it's a really wonderful thing. A lot of our friends joke about how me and my sister have our own little world and that they don't know many siblings who are as close as we are.

My own experiences of my childhood are what made me so desperate to give my DS a sibling.

I know people on all sides. I have some lone child friends who are very happy and content, some friends with NC siblings, some with age gaps so big they never really knew their siblings as kids and still don't as adults and some who love their siblings. You never know what will happen and a sibling does NOT equal "a friend for life" in a large number of cases. You have to look at what is best for YOU as parents.

FWIW OP, I imaginecehwn a lot of us had 6 week old babies we really, really didn't want another

The baby phase is incredibly hard and during it I was always adamant I only wanted one child. Fast forward to when DS was about 12-15 months old and that's when the craving for a second kicked in. I really wouldn't get yourself het up about this so early on into motherhood as I doubt many women at your stage would be full of excitement and anticipation at the thought of another.

I have one sister who is two and a bit years younger than me. We were fairly close growing up (sort of had to be seeing as we were living in the same house) but she is a very different person to me and we don't have much in common.

She lives several hours drive from me, last time I saw her was in September. Last time we spoke was Christmas Day. So no, we're not close.

I'm a one and only and don't understand the dynamics of siblings at all!!! Both my parents are NC with theirs for various and very reasonable reasons - which I imagine has influenced my choices!

I have loved my life growing up and into adulthood, I am (generally) happy in my own company but also love being with others. I'm very independent (too much so my mum would say) but this meant that trying new things or travelling was never an issue - I would always be happy to make new friends wherever I went! Weirdly my closest friends are also one and onlys!

I don't think I am (always!) selfish, lazy, introverted (although I can be at time - can't we all!) or entitled (a very ugly trait).

Just had a baby with my DH (who is on good terms but not super close to his DSis) and I can't imagine having another. But that's what suits us. We keep getting asked and get the eyebrow raised when we say baby will be our one and only, for me it is about the time I can give her (all of it!). That was the same with my parents and me (we are very close even if we don't live near each other!).