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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

being annoyed with Dd2's teacher for not sorting this out ??

180 replies

NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:04

Dd2's class did an assembly this morning about feeling funnily enough.

Dd2 was one of 12 picked to do a dance for the feeling scared bit.

So they all stand there dancing away and then it gets to the part of the song where they pair up and dance and there is no partner for dd. All the pairs carry on dancing away and poor Dd is stood there not knowing where to put herself and eventually the teacher indicated to her to just dance on her own, and bless her she did but she looked so upset and uncomfortable.

Surely the bloody teacher must have realised that someone was away and so there were now only 11 not 12 dancers.

I know I am probably over reacting but I felt so sorry for DD and angry with her bloody unorganised teacher.

Oh and it was a another girl in their class that taught them all the dance, and she was there, why the hell couldn't she have paired up with dd.

OP posts:
Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:04

About Feelings even.

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Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:11

Is that a yes then ??

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Hassled · 23/02/2007 14:13

No, not being unreasonable - hideous age for girls as well in terms of embarrassment etc. Clueless teacher.

Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:17

Thank you.

She is 7 and very self concious about dancing as it is.

The teacher did thank her at the end for carrying on, but fgs it was so fixable to start with.

OP posts:
Moomin · 23/02/2007 14:17

It must have been upsetting watching your dd go through this. Was she upset afterwards? But in the teacher's defence, putting an assembly on at school is a very stressful activity and she will probably have had 1000 things to do that morning, not least each of the children being horrendously overexcited and/or nervous, and she will have been trying to keep a lid on that a remember everything else they needed to do. Teachers get nervous themselves by doing assemblies and she will have wanted to put on a good show. She was probably gutted about what happened as she will have been panicking when she realised that your dd would have no partner

Even if your dd is upset I don't think there is any mileage in blaming the teacher either to her directly or in front of your dd as it looks like a genuine oversight. Better to just tell your daughter you really enjoyed the assembly anyway and that no-one even noticed she was on her own (even if that's not true).

Littlefish · 23/02/2007 14:19

Sorry, but I agree with Moomin.

fireflyfairy2 · 23/02/2007 14:19

Well done to your dd for continuing!! Lots of others wouldn't have!!

I guess the teacher was lacking common sense a little!

Moomin · 23/02/2007 14:19

Great isn't it, that someone who is in the profession of teaching children and putting such a stressful thing as assembly on for the benefit of the kids gets called 'clueless' for making a mistake.

fireflyfairy2 · 23/02/2007 14:20

Yeah, but Moomin, they are bound to have had register/assembly/even a flippin' practice where the teacher would have noticed that one of her dancers were missing!

tissy · 23/02/2007 14:21

Don't think you're being reasonable to expect that another 7 year old should think this through and pair up with dd (and there would be someone else partnerless then, wouldn't there?), but teacher certainly should be more in control.

Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:23

Dd was upset, close to tears and as I said there was another child that could of stepped in. Surely when doing the register the teacher realised that they were a dancer short.

I am not a teacher but it is certainly something that I would have checked, it only took a head count after all.

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Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:24

I didn't expect the other dancer to just step in.

What I am saying is, that if the teacher had bothered to check that everyone was present and correct then she could have told the other girl to stand in, as when the dance was going on, this other girl was sat on a bench doing nothing so it wouldn't have interferred with her part.

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tissy · 23/02/2007 14:24

Oh, so the girl who taught them the dance wasn't dancing?

Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:25

Nope she was a narrator.

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Moomin · 23/02/2007 14:25

The morning of an assembly is chaos! Have you ever organised one for young children? She made a mistake - noone died! and making a fuss will only make your dd feel more self-conscious than she needs to be.

Sorry don't mean to sound arsey but I think it's a very little thing in the Great Scheme of Things

Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:28

I haven't even mentioned it to Dd and don't intend to.

No i have never organised an assembly but all she had to do was check the names off by the parts. The parents were given a list of who was doing what and it took 2 seconds to figure out that one was missing.

Dd had practised so much and tried hard to get the dance right as it's not a thing that comes naturally to her, and then she is left standing there not knowing what to do.

Yep ok it was a mistake but IMO a very avoidable one.

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Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:28

Perhaps when it happens to one of your kids and they are upset you won't think it so trivial.

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Moomin · 23/02/2007 14:29

"I am not a teacher but it is certainly something that I would have checked, it only took a head count after all."

You have NO idea what you would be doing the morning of your class's assembly if you've never done it yourself! It's very easy to judge; but why put yourself and your dd through the stress of being so wound up about this when the teacher made a simple, understandable mistake? Go into school and offer the help with the next class assembly. The teacher will probably be delighted and you might get an tiny idea of what's involved in putting somehting like this on.

ebenezer · 23/02/2007 14:31

I agree with moomin. Anyone who's ever taught knows that you are constantly juggling a million and one things. It happen. Put it down to experience. She won't be scarred for life. Be grateful you were able to get the time to watch the assembly. As a teacher myself, I never get to see my own DCs do this sort of thing, which is a bit upsetting for them and me at times - but hell, that's life, it ain't perfect!

Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 14:32

Oh yeah i'll go in and help and take ds with me and he can run round whilst they are all getting ready

Fine so I am not a bloody teacher and have never organised an assembly but I can bloody count and would of made sure that I knew who was and wasn't there...end of.

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Moomin · 23/02/2007 14:41

I think you'd make a great teacher - you seem to be so patient and understanding...

Try not to get your arse in your hand with posters just because they don't agree with you... you asked if you were being unreasonable. I think you were, a tad, and gave you reason why I thought this. It's not the end of the world though, is it?

WriggleJiggle · 23/02/2007 14:41

Teacher goes to all the trouble of preparing an assembly. It takes hours to organise and spends all week worrying if the children are going to remember their lines. She deals with 101 other things that morning. Afterwards she sees the daggers on one parents face and wonders why she bothered.

Is your child even going to be thinking about it by this time tomorrow?

I expect she asked the children if they had everything they needed. Did your dd tell her that her partner was missing?

Go in with ds and offer to help. A ds and a small group of children to deal with has got to be easier than 1 teacher and a whole class to deal with.

Alternatively, if a simple mistake can cause so much stress and grief ask if dd can be excused class assemblies.

kslatts · 23/02/2007 14:45

It must have been upsetting for you dd, but I think you are over reacting by being annoyed with the teacher.

I went with dd1 on a school trip once and helped out, it was bloody hard work and I now understand what a difficult job teachers have, it must have been chaos before the assembly with a class full of excited children, trying to get them all ready.

kittywaitsfornumber6 · 23/02/2007 14:53

Sorry, but I think you are being unreasonable. Teachers cannot be making everything right all the time. I think kids need to do stuff they are not comfortable with, it's part of life.

Original poster
NuttyMuffins · 23/02/2007 15:53

Teachers can do no wrong obviously.

Forget I ever asked.

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