Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to decline a gift

95 replies

motherofthemall · 15/01/2017 21:23

My parents have very generously offered to buy me an expensive watch for my 30th birthday. I am delighted and really would like it. However, i know that my husband will be annoyed, he often gets grumpy when i get expensive gifts and calls me spoilt and that i don't need such things etc etc.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 15/01/2017 22:03

He sounds really horrible. What kind of partner doesn't want to see their loved one enjoying a thoughtful gift (and one he hasn't even had to bloody buy?!)
Is he always such an arse?

Nocabbageinmyeye · 15/01/2017 22:11

Shock you are far too young to be saddled with a joy sucking dickhead! Definitely take the watch and if/when he says anything tell him it's time (see what I did there 😉) he packed his bags

Celaena · 15/01/2017 22:14

What is nice about him?

This is childish and horrible

Aeroflotgirl · 15/01/2017 22:15

Accept the gift, and give yiur husband a kick in the balls 😉

Original poster
motherofthemall · 15/01/2017 22:28

Celeana, I'm struggling to come up with an answer 😔

OP posts:
AddToBasket · 15/01/2017 22:30

This is horrible. Of course accept the gift!

Your husband requires therapy.

MsMarvel · 15/01/2017 22:32

Different point of view, and may be way off but I'm going to throw it out there.

My parents like buying me extravagant. Presents. My dp doesn't like it. But my parents buy me presents and then think that it means I have to do what they tell me.

My dp was the one to point this out to me and make me see it, so at one point, I was happily accepting presents and he wasn't happy. But it was because he knew that it would inevitably lead to me being unhappy because I would either do something that I didn't want to do, or would refuse and cause a big argument with my parents.

I now try and avoid presents, never need anything, if pushed, ask for something specific that I know is cheap.

Again, this may not be the case with you, but thought I would suggest a different viewpoint/angle.

Aspiringcatlady · 15/01/2017 22:34

He sounds like a knob. Accept the gift and enjoy your new watch!

Aeroflotgirl · 15/01/2017 22:39

MrssM this sounds a bit different, this is a special birthday present.

AtSea1979 · 15/01/2017 22:43

Are you in a lot of debt?
I once got quite narked because my DP was so in debt it was impacting on our life massively, constant scrimping and scraping then his mum bought him a £400 mobile, it wasn't his bday, just because he mentioned he wanted one. I must admit I was jealous that he brought all that debt from before we met and then I couldn't afford to replace my phone because I was paying for all bills etc while he paid all his debts.

Original poster
motherofthemall · 15/01/2017 22:49

My parents can be a bit flakey but they would never try to influence/control me (which is a unfortunate as they both had doubts at my choice of husband but never told me at the time) No debts. Good income. Comfortable lifestyle which we both work hard for.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 15/01/2017 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsglitterfairy · 15/01/2017 22:51

Tell DH to piss off and accept the watch. I know I would do.

kittybiscuits · 15/01/2017 22:51

He doesn't want your parents to buy you a special gift because his parents aren't buying him one and he doesn't want to buy you one. So he would rather you didn't have a lovely present then he won't have to feel either resentment or guilt. It's all about him. How dare he be so selfish? What a pathetic cunt.

CosyCoupe88 · 15/01/2017 22:56

Accept the gift. He needs ti get over himself

ohfourfoxache · 15/01/2017 22:59

He sounds horrible.

His wife is to receive a nice gift that she would like, and he gets stroppy when it has made his wife happy?

Doesn't sound like he has your best interests at heart

Original poster
motherofthemall · 15/01/2017 23:02

Omega constellation

OP posts:
thebakerwithboobs · 15/01/2017 23:04

If they want to gift you something expensive, ask for a divorce.

ImperialBlether · 15/01/2017 23:05

OP, you're going to be 30 years old. Can you imagine living another 50 or 60 years with this joyless fucker?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/01/2017 23:10

Not a first world problem in the slightest. Your husband sounds terrible. I'm sorry but what partner would have such a negative reaction to their partner being given a lovely gift? The only reason that might potentially make his annoyance slightly understandable is if they were buying you something like a Rolex whilst you're both scrimping to get buy and barely making rent/mortgage payments. I'm assuming that's not the case.

DelphiniumBlue · 15/01/2017 23:12

Does DH need to know that it's expensive? Not that it's any of his business what your parents choose to get you for your birthday!

HyacinthsBucket · 15/01/2017 23:13

I always thought that if you loved someone, you were genuinely happy for them to get something nice............to take the shine off someone getting a lovely gift is quite cruel behaviour.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/01/2017 23:14

Ok wow, I have looked and they are pricey! Not on a Michael Kors level etc. Are you financially comfortable? A two grand watch (minimal) could definitely be a source of contention if your everyday living is limited by finances.

AML84 · 15/01/2017 23:20

kittybiscuits is spot on - somehow he's turned a lovely gesture by your parents into something about him. Does he do this often about other things?

Sounds like you've already acknowledged to yourself that he isn't the best husband - what's keeping you together? DCs?

Mrsglitterfairy · 15/01/2017 23:20

Wow, I've just looked at them, you lucky thing. I see what PPs are saying, if you guys are struggling for money then I guess he could be feeling a bit shitty if you get something so expensive. If not, he's being a brat

Swipe left for the next trending thread