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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To never iron DH clothes again.

69 replies

hanban89 · 15/01/2017 00:02

The ironing pile was building and building as we've had a very busy couple of weeks. Today I took it all to work with me (I'm self employed and it's quiet this time of year) and I ironed the lot. I have to iron professionally through the shop so I put stuff on hangers and put clothes liners on them.
I asked DH if he could bring it in from the car as I had my hands full when I got home. So he did and I thought he had taken it straight upstairs. I just went into the hall to come to bed and it was lying in the basket messily. Even the stuff on hangers so it's all crumpled. I spent 2 fucking hours ironing everything including all his casual and work shirts. I just feel really fucked off and need to vent. It's DDs birthday party tomorrow so I've cleaned all downstairs and just feel stressed out.

OP posts:

haveacupoftea · 15/01/2017 00:03

Yep. He can iron his own, he has two hands. Bet he wont crumple shirts he has ironed!

Astro55 · 15/01/2017 00:05

Hang them up and wait till he complains -

Did you say anything?

acornsandnuts · 15/01/2017 00:13

Honestly I wouldn't iron EVER for him again. Total lack of appreciation. Did you speak to him about it.

PidgeyfinderGeneral · 15/01/2017 00:13

Crikey. I've never ironed DH's shirts and he would never ask me to. He does them himself. I don't even iron my own clothes.

fuzzywuzzy · 15/01/2017 00:16

I wouldn't bother ironing his clothes ever again either. Clearly he prefers his clothes crumble led up in a heap as he demonstrated to you.

S1lentAllTheseYears · 15/01/2017 00:17

I would leave his stuff where he left it and, if he says anything, just respond with "I thought you wanted them like that!"

I certainly wouldn't iron them again!

Original poster

hanban89 · 15/01/2017 00:17

I stormed into the bedroom and he asked me what was wrong, so I replied that my 2 hours of ironing was ruined and I hung everything up as it was so he can iron the shirts again if they're too crumpled for work! I thought I was maybe overreacting but it's really annoyed me.

OP posts:

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 15/01/2017 00:18

Don't iron his clothes - he can iron his own.

LellyMcKelly · 15/01/2017 00:22

Hang on, if you're working full time and ironing his shirts you're mad.

CharleyDavidson · 15/01/2017 00:24

I don't iron DH's stuff. In fact I only really iron the DC's stuff if it looks creased when it comes out of the machine/off the line, or if it looks creased when they get it out of the cupboard in the morning.

Original poster

hanban89 · 15/01/2017 00:33

Lelly I just work 3/4 days but the other days I'm at home with DD2 who is just a toddler so I don't get the iron out when she's there just in case. And if she naps I will get all the other housework done. I usually iron in the evening when kids are in bed. To be fair he is hands in with the kids, but does literally zero housework.

OP posts:

Oblomov16 · 15/01/2017 00:36

No. I totally understand, I spend time ironing, which I hate, and when I see it scrunched upon a pile, i go mad, for the unappreciated effort I've made.

EmeraldScorn · 15/01/2017 00:41

He's a big boy with two hands, he can iron his own stuff, or at least that would be my approach to the situation in future.

SuperManStoleMyPants · 15/01/2017 00:45

I used to iron all of mine and dhs things until my hours dramatically increased and I'm never home.

He made a huge song and dance about having to do the ironing and how much of a favour it was as I was working. It turned out all the ironing was just his work things. Apparently mine didn't need it.

Although I got the last laugh! The next morning in the early hours as he was getting ready for work he was having a tizz about his trousers having shrunk in the wash and not being able to get them on past his knees. The complete fool had ironed my work trousers thinking they were his, hung them up and was rolling around the room trying to squeeze in them. I was in hysterics.

(And yes his selfish behaviour was brought up strongly and it hasn't been repeated)

Don't iron them again. In fact just throw them in the basket as that's where he likes them stored.

Ohdearducks · 15/01/2017 00:46

He should be doing housework, you're not his slave. Why is the dirty/grunt work ok for you but not him? The fact he did that to the freshly ironed stuff seems like he's showing you how little he respects you or cares about your time and effort.
Also it's a given that he should be hands on with the kids, they're his kids!

HeddaGarbled · 15/01/2017 00:47

I have been married for nearly 30 years have never ironed a single item of my H's. Nor has he ever ironed anything of mine. We don't have an ironing pile. Stuff goes straight from laundry into wardrobes/drawers and is ironed by the owner on a need to use basis.

FurryLittleTwerp · 15/01/2017 00:51

You have ironed the clothes - that's your responsibility finished. he has wrecked them - that is his responsibility.

Foolishly when I got married I took over nearly all the household duties, even though we both worked full time. I've worked part time for a few years now so expect to do a bit more not all though but anything I don't do, DH doesn't do either. I could wait for a year & he still wouldn't "crack", so ultimately I still do nearly everything as after a while I just can't bear it he knows this

I was away recently & DS washed all the business shirts & ironed his own but not DH's. When I got home there were only 2 clean unironed shirts in the airing cupboard having been washed after 8 days of work

Original poster

hanban89 · 15/01/2017 00:53

Superman that's hilarious!

Oh dear ducks, that's exactly that, a punch in the gut when say I clear out a cupboard for example, and the next day I open it there will be things just thrown in. I gutted out the shed twice this year put hooks, and shelving in, tidied out the tool boxes and I went to get something a couple weeks ago and couldn't even get in there as he had thrown some stuff in there. It's like a complete waste of time and effort to organise and tidy just to have it the way it was within a week. I'm getting to the point where i just think why do I even bother.

OP posts:

LoupGarou · 15/01/2017 00:55

I don't even own an iron, last one broke two years ago and didn't bother to replace it.
I have a snazzy tumble drier which has an ironing feature on the end of its cycles, works like a charm . Clothes then go straight into closets and if anyone crumples them they can either do the hanging in a steamy bathroom trick, re-tumble dry them or live with it.

LoupGarou · 15/01/2017 00:56

Also meant to say YAdefinitelyNBU

midsummabreak · 15/01/2017 01:00

Have never ironed for DH unless at same time as doing my own ironing before going out and he is helping with something else. I just really hate ironing. DH does his own, if he bothers- his problem. I am not his Mum and he is a big boy now.

GooodMythicalMorning · 15/01/2017 01:00

Dh irons his own stuff

Meridien · 15/01/2017 01:06

Even the evil bastard my first DH didn't take offence when I just stopped ironing his stuff. He only said he wondered why I was doing his ironing in the first place. You've already stopped, yes?

HarrietSchulenberg · 15/01/2017 01:10

ExH once made a comment about me ironing more creases into his shirts than out of them. Funnily enough he had to iron his own after that.

MrsMcMoo · 15/01/2017 01:11

Don't iron his clothes, you're not his mum! I wouldn't dream of ironing anything for DH as he is a grown man! In fact I almost never pick up an iron - i buy non-iron school uniform for the kids (Asda) and they look fine.

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