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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To never iron DH clothes again.

69 replies

hanban89 · 15/01/2017 00:02

The ironing pile was building and building as we've had a very busy couple of weeks. Today I took it all to work with me (I'm self employed and it's quiet this time of year) and I ironed the lot. I have to iron professionally through the shop so I put stuff on hangers and put clothes liners on them.
I asked DH if he could bring it in from the car as I had my hands full when I got home. So he did and I thought he had taken it straight upstairs. I just went into the hall to come to bed and it was lying in the basket messily. Even the stuff on hangers so it's all crumpled. I spent 2 fucking hours ironing everything including all his casual and work shirts. I just feel really fucked off and need to vent. It's DDs birthday party tomorrow so I've cleaned all downstairs and just feel stressed out.

OP posts:

KanyeWesticle · 15/01/2017 11:16

DH does his own ironing. It's not something you use your genitals for, so anyone can.

CommonSenseIsNotAllThatCommon · 15/01/2017 11:32

Send him back to his mother. She seems intent on making you a slave.

Beardsareweird · 15/01/2017 11:39

Why are you ironing for him? I haven't ironed for many years now, since our iron blew up and I couldn't be arsed to replace it. Even when I did iron clothes, I only ever ironed my own. I remember a work colleague staring at me in horror when i told her this, and she asked "What happens if your husbands clothes are creased?". I replied that he went out looking creased, and that was up to him.

PuntCuffin · 15/01/2017 11:39

What getnaked said. Military men are the way forward on this.
I don't understand the concept of 'his and hers' ironing (or any household task, to be honest). We just have an ironing basket and whoever irons, which is mostly DH as he is better and quicker at it, works their way through it until it is done.

downwardfacingdog · 15/01/2017 12:11

Wtf?! Never iron anything of his again. In fact stop doing his washing too. It's the easiest chore to pass to him first because if he doesn't do it, or makes a shit job of it, it doesn't impact on you or your home. Stop comparing him to an even shitter husband and start comparing him to what would be fair. Maybe making a list of what you do and what he does including the hours spent would highlight the inequity.

Nanny0gg · 15/01/2017 13:56

My leisure time is mopping the floor in the evening while DH plays FIFA.

He really is taking you for a mug.

Is he helping with the preparations/hosting of the family visit today?

Beebeeeight · 15/01/2017 14:05

Being a single mother is easier than this!

WhitePhantom · 15/01/2017 15:13

Hang on - after he left the pile of clothes in a crumpled mess, YOU then went and hung them up for him?? And these were HIS clothes? Wtf?!

He's treating you like a skivvy. Mind you, so are you. The change has to start with you.

timeisnotaline · 15/01/2017 16:03

I am going to side with a previous poster and take a very charitable approach. I'm sure he's a lovely man , great dad and husband and does what he can considering he doesn't have any arms. He could still organise an ironing service though.

(Never ironed for my dh, and he irons the toddlers shirts when I ask)

StewieGMum · 15/01/2017 16:10

What are you getting out of this relationship? He's getting a lovely clean house and lots of leisure time. You don't seem to be getting much since you're doing pretty much everything.

Original poster

hanban89 · 15/01/2017 18:08

Had a massive word today. He needs to chip in with house stuff, as I said I won't be doing it anymore. I hate having it messy though so if he doesn't keep it up I'll end up caving I know I will.
We had a bit of a disastrous afternoon with DD2 locking herself in the bathroom and FIL kicking the door in. Then blaming me as the lock had broken. (It's a new build and I had no idea the lock was broken) so we couldn't turn the lock around from the outside. I need

OP posts:

Fairylea · 15/01/2017 18:22

Why is it your fault the lock was broken? It feels like you get the blame / responsibility for everything.

Original poster

hanban89 · 15/01/2017 18:46

I'm actually really upset by my FIL comments. His exact words were "you need to sort this house out" I was flabbergasted. The house is a new build and has had snags which we have chased up with builders but very very minor things. Didn't know about the lock. My mum was telling him to calm down as he was getting really aggressive. I had a little cry in the kitchen and couldn't face coming back through after that.

OP posts:

Naicehamshop · 15/01/2017 18:53

You need to sort the house out???

Wtaf!

RandomMess · 15/01/2017 18:53

Your FIL is awful and obviously a very poor example to your DH.

Don't cave, just stop doing DH washing, cooking etc if he doesn't pitch in and do his fair share of the housework or childcare. As I said up thread it's about having equal leisure time regardless of what chore is being done (paid or unpaid work, childcare, domestic tasks)

When I returned to work I handed over the food shopping, planning & cooking to DH in his entirely and let him get on with it, took him a while to learn how to cook and plan better but he got there

Ohdearducks · 15/01/2017 22:12

And your DH just let him behave like that towards you in your own house? That's disgusting of the pair of them!

KatharinaRosalie · 15/01/2017 22:29

A mum I know who works 3 jobs has 3 kids and a husband who does not even help with kids and does nothing at all, not even if asked, so I think I compare myself to that and think yea he probably is doing more than others.

Don't compare yourself, your household tasks and free time to that of other women.

Compare yourself with your DH. Does not look that nice and fair now, does it.

Nanny0gg · 17/01/2017 18:43

My mum was telling him to calm down as he was getting really aggressive

And this is the man who set an example to your DH growing up?

Oh.

Gooseysgirl · 17/01/2017 23:36

I iron about 3 times a year... my toddler DC say 'what's that mummy?' when they see it. Life is way too short to iron. DH has always done his own ironing but is now the proud owner of several non-iron shirts. Your FIL sounds like a right piece of work

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