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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go where his ex went?

73 replies

UnicornButtplug · 14/01/2017 17:42

So new boyfriend (couple of months) wants to go to London for the weekend staying at his uncles. So far so good.
Sex came up in conversation and I said there is no way I would have sex in his uncles house because they might hear us.
He said they won't hear us, I have had sex there before.
Turns out he took his ex there to stay a few years ago.

So now I don't want to go. Am I being childish and unreasonable to not want to go and stay somewhere he stayed with his ex.
Part of me thinks I am because it is his family, not like he it's taking me to their favourite hotel and recreating the dates they had but I am still feeling sulky and like the shine has gone off it.

OP posts:
questioningitall · 14/01/2017 17:43

Yes Tabu

FannyUmbongo · 14/01/2017 17:43

Yes. Yes you are.

Nomoreworkathome · 14/01/2017 17:45

YAB massively U and immature

Cloudyapples · 14/01/2017 17:45

YABU what are you going to do? Refuse to do anything with him that she ever did? Restaurants they ate in together? Countries they went on holiday to? Not meeting his parents because she met them?

SparkleShinyGlitter · 14/01/2017 17:45

Yes i think your being a little childish.

Your new bf is an adult and has had sex in previous relationships. He also happens to of had sex at a family members house and I don't find that odd at all and it certainly wouldn't stop me going to London or staying at his uncles

sailorcherries · 14/01/2017 17:46

You are being unreasonable.
If that's the case you best not go to any cities, cinemas, restaurants or shops they went to either.

He was unreasonable to mention shagging his ex as a way of convincing you to have sex with him there. No need for that.

KateDaniels2 · 14/01/2017 17:46

Yabu. Are yoi going to refuse to meet all his family? Because she did?

SirChenjin · 14/01/2017 17:47

Yes yabu Grin Unless you date a virgin you will sleep in the same bed as your partner's previous girlfriends- it's just a fact of life. Stop worrying (and remember, you're better than her Wink)

ElleMcElle · 14/01/2017 17:47

Yep - YABU because, as you say, it's a family home not a special hotel. Stop sulking, UnicornButtPlug and focus instead on your award for Best Mumsnet User Name.

OSETmum · 14/01/2017 17:47

Well yes YABU but why the hell did he feel the need to tell you that?!

ZouBisou · 14/01/2017 17:47

YABU!

If his uncle had moved house since your DP stayed there with his ex, would you feel differently or the same?

YoScienceBitch · 14/01/2017 17:47

Really?

MummyToThree479 · 14/01/2017 17:48

Yes your childish

He wants to stay at his uncles in London and he'd like his new girlfriend to go along, but he once had sex with an ex Shock in London at his uncles. I don't see the issue and I'd go!

If you stay in a hotel how many couples do you think have shagged each other's brains out in the bed before you?

DearMrDilkington · 14/01/2017 17:50

Your being absolutely ridiculous. Your never going to visit his family because his ex girlfriends have also met them?

Grow up before he finds someone that behaves like an adult.

gleam · 14/01/2017 17:50

A bit u maybe. But I'd be the same. Blush

Can't you find a nice hotel for your first weekend in London together? Especially if the point of your visit is to do touristy things or a show etc.
And I would wonder how his uncle feels about his home being used as a free hotel.

If you're going to visit his family, then of course it's different.

MontyPythonsFlyingFuck · 14/01/2017 17:51

Are you aware, OP, that you are shagging the same man as his ex did?

YouMeanYouForgotCranberriesToo · 14/01/2017 17:51

You are being massively unreasonable. If he was taking you to a favourite hotel then yes, look for somewhere else to stay, but staying with family is totally different.

AllStar14 · 14/01/2017 17:51

YABU!!

Original poster
UnicornButtplug · 14/01/2017 17:51

OK ok I am being unreasonable but really, what possessed him to say that! We have both slept with other people, I have three children and an ex husband, but really, come and have sex with me here just like my ex did.
Can I sulk a bit longer cos he is in work and won't see me?

Thanks Elle but I can't take the credit, someone else said it on one of the many pj threads and I loved it so I stole it for my name!

OP posts:
KayTee87 · 14/01/2017 17:51

Yabu and childish however I'm not sure what he gained by telling you he'd had sex there before HmmConfused could he not just have said the sound proofing is good or something?

Pinkheart5915 · 14/01/2017 17:52

I do feel it's a childish attitude

Has you have sex in your bed? Is the he only man you've ever had sex with in your bed? Is he the only man you've dated that's been in your home?

In an adult relationship unless you are both virgins there is a good chance you will have sex in a bed that they also had sex with an ex in be it there own bed/bed at a family or friends when staying over.

In an adult relationship it's also a huge possibility you will go places they went with an ex, favourite restaurant/holiday destination/ visiting friends and so on

ShowMePotatoSalad · 14/01/2017 17:52

YABU. Like, so so SO unreasonable. So you can't go anywhere he went because his ex went before? Sorry but that sounds totally potty.

And also, sulking because of this is awful to him. Get out of your sulk, apologise for sulking about it, and stop being silly.

Talcott2007 · 14/01/2017 17:52

Sorry but YABU! I'm sure they will have changed the sheets on the bed since then...

Nomoreworkathome · 14/01/2017 17:53

Are you aware, OP, that you are shagging the same man as his ex did?
Indeed but that doesn't seem to be an issue.... just WHERE the shagging has taken place Smile

ConvincingLiar · 14/01/2017 17:54

Yup, yabu. She's had a go on his cock, where they did it it irrelevant. Only exception is trying to recreate their relationship, so I'd object to "their restaurant" or "their hotel" or having an identical honeymoon.