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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is a 3 year old too old for a wrist strap?

61 replies

deai · 14/01/2017 10:37

He runs away. All. The. Time.
Im too pregnant and fat to chase after him fast enough and im scared hes going to get lost/ ran over.
And when the baby is here, how am i going to stop him bolting off and have the pram? Ill get a buggy board but i doubt he'll stay on that ever.
3.5 seems a bit old for it though...

OP posts:

Stormwhale · 14/01/2017 10:38

Nope. It's better to have a wrist strap than be hit by a car or lost.

Magzmarsh · 14/01/2017 10:40

I got one for dd at same age for same reason (pg). We were going to London for the weekend and her safety and my peace of mind were paramount. She enjoyed wearing it which helped

Whatslovegottodo · 14/01/2017 10:41

No, you do what you need to do to keep your child safe. The back pack ones are good too.

wtffgs · 14/01/2017 10:43

No - your child. You know. There always be someone with a placid child who doesn't get it. Your child is 3 not 13! (empathy from the mother of a former bolter)

harderandharder2breathe · 14/01/2017 10:45

It's not about age, it's about whether your particular child needs it and it sounds like he does. Better a few funny looks from strangers than an awful accident if he bolts.

wifeyhun · 14/01/2017 10:45

Nope dd1 had one at the same age as she was a little terror. We had a little backpack thingy as well.

NannyR · 14/01/2017 10:47

At 3.5 he probably won't like using one, but in that case you simply explain he has two options, he can walk nicely and hold your hand or he has to wear the wrist strap. I imagine he'll start behaving pretty quickly.

IWantATardis · 14/01/2017 10:48

Not too old at all.
Especially if he won't stop bolting off.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 14/01/2017 10:49

DS did not have a strap/reins/whatever at 3. If I saw a child of that age with one I'd think "Oh dear, he/she is a bolter. Thank fuck mine wasn't." Imo you stop using a strap/reins/whatever when it is safe to do so... and bollocks to anyone who thinks otherwise!

Della1 · 14/01/2017 10:49

As above. He will probably hate wearing it so will choose to walk nicely/hold your hand. I did this with the buggy with my 3 year old.

Della1 · 14/01/2017 10:50

(Who also bolted a lot). Empathy!

BarbarianMum · 14/01/2017 10:51

Some kids are bolters. They need to be kept safe too. Until you can trust him, what's the alternative? As for people judging, well I judged my neighbour who let her 3 year old run repeatedly into the road hugely.

Original poster

deai · 14/01/2017 10:54

Think ill definitely get one then. Though NannyR i think youre right and hopefully the threat of using it will make him atart behaving.

Last time he ran off was over a bridge that led into a carpark, i fell straight on my stomach, lost my keys and we were locked out. And my phone had no battery. It was a nightmare and he only stopped cause he heard me falling over, otherwise theres no way id have caught up with him and he could have gotten really hurt.
I wish he was one of those kids that just follows you everywhere

OP posts:

statetrooperstacey · 14/01/2017 10:55

I used to be a bit when I used to see these, so may hav had a double take. I have since met quite a few runners and completely understand
So I would have been one of the ones people would have thought wee judging , bit it wasn't it was just surprise. In fact it used to make me think perhaps I was a slack Alice who should have one.

CwtchMeQuick · 14/01/2017 10:57

www.tesco.com/direct/goldbug-harness-buddy-chimp/212-2781.prd?source=others

DS had these which he happily wore until about 4 (and probably still would now at 4.5). He refused reins and a wrist strap but loved these. Also had a back pack time one for him which he liked too. Much better to use reins than lose your child!

my2bundles · 14/01/2017 11:18

I had a 3 year old bolter, use one. Ignore what others think or say. My son outgrew that stage and became a very sensible 5 year old so don't worry, it us just a phase.

Allthewaves · 14/01/2017 11:20

God yes. My first was bolter and we ended up with back pack thing. Even when he grew out of it in kept wrist strap in my pocket

Whitelisbon · 14/01/2017 11:24

I have straps attached to the buggy handles for my 3yo dts. They don't use them often, but they know they're there, and, if they don't walk nicely, or stop when I tell them to, the straps get put on.
Dtd hasn't used hers in months, dts uses his at least once a week.

Losgunna · 14/01/2017 11:30

My 3yo ds has a harness with straps that unclip (so when we get to for e.g. the park he can be let loose without having to fight with straps)

He hardly even notices he's wearing it if he's being good and keeps him safe if he bolts. Which of course he does every single time we go out.

He has a wrist strap too but is so keen to run away he will hurt himself with it (nasty red welts on wrist where he's pulled at it) so I don't use it anymore.

Highly recommend the harness though because no matter how much he throws himself into it he can't hurt himself and it keeps him safe.

I have this one

roseteapot101 · 14/01/2017 11:44

i used to put a goldbug harness on my daughter at when i visited my sister in london.

I remember trying to negotiate handling a small excited child in a crowded place whilst rummaging for my oyster card and wallet to top up.Having a harness wrapped around my wrist helped me feel she was safer when distracted or in a very crowded tube station waiting for the tube .

I eventually taught her with the harness looped around my wrist to hold my hand always when in a busy place or next to a busy road.Eventually i could do away with the harness as she had learnt to hold my hand.

DJBaggySmalls · 14/01/2017 11:44

I had a bolter and used reins. I took a lot of stick for it. I didnt care about that.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 14/01/2017 11:46

DJ me too.

CottonSock · 14/01/2017 11:50

I got one to keep in bag, take up no space and with my dd the threat of it may have been enough. She loves her buggy board now though so I've not used it

KC225 · 14/01/2017 11:56

I had bolter twins, both in opposite directions. The wrist strap is not that easy, I found they would pull and try to wrench it off. I loved the backpack with the detachable strap at the back from
Mammanbebe. But their are lots of versions. Children would choose little bits to go into it ie small toy, snack etc., and try are not wrenching their arm.

Good luck OP.

Quarksoundslikequack · 14/01/2017 12:01

If my child ran away at 10 I'd buy them a bloody wrist strap.

Don't feel bad for wanting to keep him safe

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