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Original poster

Is a 3 year old too old for a wrist strap?

61 replies

deai · 14/01/2017 10:37

He runs away. All. The. Time.
Im too pregnant and fat to chase after him fast enough and im scared hes going to get lost/ ran over.
And when the baby is here, how am i going to stop him bolting off and have the pram? Ill get a buggy board but i doubt he'll stay on that ever.
3.5 seems a bit old for it though...

OP posts:
Spikeyball · 14/01/2017 12:09

You might be better off with a backpack with a strap and you can still push the pram whilst holding the strap.The wrist straps are easy to slip your hand out of or open. Certainly not too old for one.

WashBasketsAreUs · 14/01/2017 12:10

My grandson is 3, tho not a bolter. I have reins on him as if he did decide to run away/go see lovely dog/ooh look, a ball, (and you can't predict when they are going to) I wouldn't be quick enough to catch him.
My twin girls (now 25) had wrist straps until they went to school, as managing twins, the eldest DC and a dog is not easy. When one went, the others would follow!

If anyone says anything to you, practise saying this -" better under control than under a car".

PeachBellini123 · 14/01/2017 12:13

I was driving a couple of weeks ago and a four year old ran out in front of the car (no damage done other than utter shock and tears from me). I wish that parent had, had a strap.

Sirzy · 14/01/2017 12:15

3 is the perfect age for one I would have thought. That transition from pram to proper safe independent walking!

Blu · 14/01/2017 12:19

I would have no qualms about using one, especially when you are getting to grips with having a small child and baby out and about: so easy to be distracted for a moment.

I wouldn't use it as a threat / punishment either. I would introduce it as normal, default position ' to keep you safe' and then once you are a dab hand at managing two out and about, and if he seems to be getting the hang of staying close, introduce the idea of being 'a big boy ' and losing the leash.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/01/2017 12:24

Nope, absolutely not, he is still very little, even my nearly 5 year old son is a wanderer, he will see something, and gravitate towards it, not thinking to tell me.

CMOTDibbler · 14/01/2017 12:28

When ds was 3 he had reins. He wasn't so much of a runner as a disapearer off when you were at the checkout/ looking at something etc. Personally, I found them more secure than the backpack, esp as they did up at the back, and could be carried in your pocket easily. They don't interfere with a childs actions (unlike a wrist strap or holding hands), and reinforce the action of walking by the pram/you nicely as the behaviour you want

megletthesecond · 14/01/2017 12:35

No. Mine had the little life backpacks with reins at that age.

But I also don't think three is too old for a pushchair.

Littleballerina · 14/01/2017 12:39

I thought you said 'wrist SLAP' I wondered why everyone was being so nice!!

user1471545174 · 14/01/2017 12:44

I remember being a bolter and loving my reins!

Artandco · 14/01/2017 12:44

Only thing is, how would you keep it on? Most are just clipped or velcroed on which most 3 year olds could Houdini out of in seconds. Mine liked those little rucksacks for carrying stuff but would have been pointless as actual restraint using lease as they put it on and off themselves from 2 so could have just unclipped and legged it unless padlocked on

user1471545174 · 14/01/2017 12:45

Also these days you have cyclists on the pavement to contend with, endangering free-ranging children.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 14/01/2017 12:54

Nope not unreasonable in the slightest-I put one on DS when he was 4 to walk to school as he had been a knob & run off the previous day-his face was like this Hmm & funnily enough he stopped running away after that.

OnNaturesCourse · 14/01/2017 12:59

my 2.5 year godson is still on reins, and will remain on them for as long as possible.

Yura · 14/01/2017 13:07

Mine has a little life backpack - cousin of mine (a usually calm and very good child) ran on the road once, age 4 - straight into a car. My son is not a runner, but he will wear his backpack until he is about 5. There is no way you can hold a child's hand if they suddenly run.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 14/01/2017 13:11

Reins or backpacks are better than wrist straps as they apply less pressure if a child is resisting. I keep reins hooked over the buggy in case the DCs are in a daft mood. I recently threatened to put them on the 5 year old as he was having sit down protests.

My 3 year old will run ahead and is decent at following instructions, but I'm able to sprint and catch him. (Most of our walking is in a very quiet area with pavements generously separated from the road by verges.) If I felt uncomfortable about him or the environment, then I'd use reins/ backpacks. (I used them on my 4 year old in busy markets on holiday).

WeAllHaveWings · 14/01/2017 13:29

ds was a bit of a bolter and harder to train heel and recall than ddog!

if we were out at shops or supermarket walking holding onto hands or trolley was non-negotiable.

We did "training exercises" when we were at the park or somewhere interesting and if he bolted for the swings he was removed and not allowed to play but if he asked to go it was ok. If he ran off (as long as it wasn't near a road) we would walk off in the other direction and tell him we were going as chasing turned it into a game for him, he would then follow us and be told if he had asked he would have been able to go where he wanted but it was too late now. It took a long time but he got there in the end and its worth persevering especially as he will be as school fairly soon and he needs to learn to stay where he is told.

we didn't use the wrist strap, but ds is an only child, if I was pregnant I would have considered it in high risk places (near roads) if running off was still an issue.

cherrycrumblecustard · 14/01/2017 13:34

To be honest depending on your height and childs height, holding hands can be very uncomfortable. The backpacks are great.

HoorayForFishAndChips · 14/01/2017 13:46

I'm in the same position as you OP, pregnant with a bolting 2.5 year old, so watching this with interest. DS has the Littlelife reins with the ladybird backpack - these stop the bolting but not the thrashing and screaming on the floor if we don't go where he wants, requiring me to set all my bags down (if we're shopping) and scoop him up while keeping his kicking legs away from my bump.

It's really not easy, I've started avoiding shops and parks etc when I'm on my own as I just can't manage him. If DH or mum is with us it's easier. Last week he sprinted off and squeezed through a gap in a hedge some older kids had made, the other side of which was a high wall, I felt sick. I've just joined a couple of toddler groups where he can run round the hall to his heart's content without me having to wrangle him all the time.

Pastaagain78 · 14/01/2017 14:05

I had a boater, we used a backpack with a strap handle that unclipped or could be put in the side pocket of the bag. Was great! We would hold the strap when he wasn't walking nicely. He liked the backpack because he could carry a snack or toys

Tinuviel · 14/01/2017 14:29

I had a 'wanderer' rather than a bolter and kept a wrist strap in my bag until he was about 6. I didn't often use it at that age but threatened more than once! It was also handy for the younger ones, although they stayed close generally.

KindergartenKop · 14/01/2017 18:04

Yes. Get one. Much better to be safe.

Buxtonstill · 14/01/2017 18:12

I never forget a MN's post many years ago on a similar thread. She pleaded with the OP to use reins. Her child had run from between two cars and had sadly been killed years ago. Don't worry about what people think. Your childs life is worth far more than others opinions.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 14/01/2017 18:15

Yep, MrsPresley,I always think of her too.

edwinbear · 14/01/2017 18:17

I used reins and wrist straps with both dc and found around the age of 3 the threat of having to wear a strap 'like a baby' was a superb deterrent to bolting. I absolutely used them when it was necessary and didn't give a shiny shit what anyone else thought. I'd put one on my 7 year old to keep him safe if necessary!