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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why people post woe is me shit on fb?

14 replies

RocketQueenP · 12/01/2017 16:54

I have a good friend, she is lovely in Real Life but she just constantly posts attention seeking, negative shit like this

"sad :( "

"hate anxiety :( "

"depressed"

"urgh am so upset"

"sooooooooo fed up with life"

"bored"

Yeah it might give the person attention from huns who ask to be "inboxed" but don't actually give a shit they just want to be nosey.

I don't understand it, this person has real friends including me! So text / phone / email! Stop publically fishing for attention. I would happily chat to her / meet up if she wanted a moan as would I am sure most of her other RL mates. Nothing good can come from this negative attention seeking as it just irritates and eventually alienates people.

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PavlovianLunge · 12/01/2017 16:56

Totally agree, it's attention seeking and emotional incontinence.

I work on the basis that if someone wants me to know something, or ask me something, they'll do it directly, not through Facebook.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 12/01/2017 16:58

Contact her another way and ask if she wants to go out or something. If people ignore the FB stuff maybe she'll realise it's pointless and that friendships work better in real life.

Violetcharlotte · 12/01/2017 17:02

It's just low self esteem and how some people cope. Like you, i find it irritating, but if it makes them feel better, then I guess it's ok

Klaphat · 12/01/2017 17:06

Nothing good can come from this negative attention seeking as it just irritates and eventually alienates people.

Right, but she is presumably wallowing in a pit of depression. I don't think you can judge someone for imprudent choices in that situation. I doubt she'd do it when well. Either way, I don't see how it harms you. Either she gets what she needs from it, or she doesn't. If you're not reaching out to her (or worse, refusing to do so on principle...), leave her to get on with it.

yorkshapudding · 12/01/2017 17:08

I have a relative who does this. If I didn't know her circumstances I would feel desperately sorry for her as I would assume she doesn't have anyone to vent to in RL. But the reality is that she has a lot of support so I do find it difficult to understand why she feels the need to do this.

TheNaze73 · 12/01/2017 17:09

Because they're attention seeking wankers

Original poster
RocketQueenP · 12/01/2017 17:11

It doesn't harm me I just feel bad and cringe a bit for her! Of course everyone is entitled to post what they like on their own FB whether people following / reading like it or not it is their right. However I just think its cringe and while I personally would not ditch a friend for it I would just mute them I can see why others might

And I often PM / text asking after her so she knows I am there if needed.

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Original poster
RocketQueenP · 12/01/2017 17:12

I have a relative who does this. If I didn't know her circumstances I would feel desperately sorry for her as I would assume she doesn't have anyone to vent to in RL. But the reality is that she has a lot of support so I do find it difficult to understand why she feels the need to do this

YY to this sounds exactly like my friend

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ZaZathecat · 12/01/2017 17:12

And some people swing between self-pity and 'look at me and all my amazing friends who I totally love!' posts. Yes it's irritating.

ToadsforJustice · 12/01/2017 17:15

.....and then you see the replies "what's up Hun?" Bleugh. As said up thread - attention seeking wankers.

Yankeedoodledickhead · 12/01/2017 17:15

I have a sil like this. And much the same as you Yorksha, I'd feel desperately sorry for her, if I didn't know the circumstances.
She's really ramped it up in the last year or so, pretty much every status is a misery fest, and with no sign of her stopping it anytime soon, everyone has stopped liking, commenting or even asking after her anymore.

She literally has 3 friends left. Her 'bestie' is the only one who gets any recognition for being there for her, with long winded, gushy nonsense about how fab she is.

ElspethFlashman · 12/01/2017 17:19

I actually had to restrict one person cos of her constant woe is me over her Toddler and her inability to say one single good thing about him on FB.

Constant stiff like "soooo tired..." and then someone would be all "what's up Hun?" And she'd be all brave and noble about how she was soldiering on despite the little one giving them such hard nights.

I know this toddler. He's nice! Yeah, he's a shit sleeper but who's isn't?

Mine was a holy horror at sleeping at the time too, but you know what I did? Restrained myself from shitting all over him on FB!

Original poster
RocketQueenP · 12/01/2017 17:25

And some people swing between self-pity and 'look at me and all my amazing friends who I totally love!' posts. Yes it's irritating

YY to this

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Original poster
RocketQueenP · 12/01/2017 17:27

And Yankee I am almost certain your Sil is my friend that honestly describes her exactly :D

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