About "friend's" racist Facebook post

[laurzj82]

A friend of mine has form for posting anti Muslim crap on her Facebook feed. A few arguments about it. Really annoys me but we've know each other for years and years and offline the subject doesn't come up and we get on really well. I'm going to just unfollow her but we will still be "friends" if that makes sense.

Anyway she posted a picture of a bacon sandwich saying this shouldn't be allowed to be offensive, share if you agree.

AIBU or is this complete crap? I don't have a Muslim friend I could ask but surely no one is going to be offended by that any more than I would be of a picture of their halal dinner?? Sorry if I am wrong and if I have offended anyone I apologise. I genuinely want to know if it is offensive or if it's just one of those stupid Britain First posts that make up that muslims are offended by such and such and then post it everywhere.

Sorry for typos; on a new phone.

TIA

I didn't say you were weird I said you were acting weird to need to ask whether a bacon sandwich was offensive.

And even if there were precious snowflakes out there who were mortally offended by said sandwiches (which there absolutely aren't), it would be completely their own problem and no-one else's.

I suppose it depends on context - a bacon sandwich placed on the steps of a mosque is offensive purely because some racist person has intended it to be racist.
A bacon roll in and of itself, not so much

laurz - I think sometimes it can be a bit shocking when we realise someone we thought was OK has some really awful views. Reaching out for validation is a natural reaction.

I sometimes think the whole 'unfriending' thing can reinforce the behaviour rather than challenging it. Working with someone in a caring way to explore why it's not OK to think those things is much harder, but perhaps likely to yield better results in the long run?? People rarely change when challenged aggressively - it's often only with repeated, gentle exposure to new ideas that are not presented in a threatening way that they are able to make that shift.... sometimes.

Just to add, it is very frustrating when the press misreport these incidents which suggest everything is "political correctness gorn mad"
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-36846555
Original story

www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/man-who-left-bacon-sandwich-outside-mosque-found-dead-in-prison-cell-a3429726.html
Look at the headline on this. It does give more details of his offence in the article. Do they really expect us to believe he was jailed for a year just for leaving a bacon sandwich outside a mosque?

She sounds a bit stupid and full of hatred.

If she's taken it down you've obviously made her think about it and she is not the mindless twat that the pp are casting down judgement upon from their liberal high horses.

We should be having open conversations about these kinds of views not defriend and block how does that change anything?

Attitudes like that are why people feel it's acceptable to have public rants on tubes and buses because instead of saying anything at the time people film it and post their fucking outrage online and instead of calling people out online you defriend and then boast about it.

Well done op for having a conversation with your friend.

I'm not sure this makes much sense I'm sleep deprived but hopefully you get the idea

soloD - you're right.

I think most of these people on fb are ignorant/naive/small minded and don't take the time to form their own views just blindly reposting crap to get a reaction.

*shove said it better

I had a couple of friends who were like this. I realised recently that I couldn't tell my DC that certain behaviours aren't acceptable when I was tolerating it in people who overwise act nicely. Especially as we've had a few incidents of certain things being repeated via school

glittery you make perfect sense. Ignorance isn't a crime - these people need educating - they probably don't know any Muslims and live very much in a bubble.

I'd unfriend, in every meaning of the word.

She isn't lovely in real life, she just too cowardly to spout her vile opinions to peoples faces.

OP, you have a moral duty to your Godson to stay friends with this person in order to make sure he is exposed your unracist views and doesn't follow in her footsteps. Very difficult for you

I'd tackle her head-on, on her FB where others can see it. Then I'd unfriend - IRL and on FB. Life's too short to entertain dicks. But don't let her get away with it without some degree of public challenge because it might make her think twice before posting similar shit again.

I'd link her to a good web-site about Kristallnacht. It is people like this who create the background music that leads down that path. No point pretending otherwise.

I'm Muslim and a bacon sandwich is not remotely offensive and the fact that anyone would think of it as a 'weapon' against Muslims is ridiculous. However the intent to offend is kind of daft and racist. I actually feel sorry for these Britain First types because they believe all that crap they read and get really upset and feel a genuine sense of victimhood. I used to go onto BF's fb page and link to actual facts under their stories (like for example if they said that 60% of Britain is now Muslim or something daft I would link to an actual stat from the census office). They blocked me.

It's up to you whether you unfriend or not, I ended up having to do that with one girl who really didn't get it, but it may also be worth telling her that the information she is receiving is inaccurate, ergo she really shouldn't worry about THE MUSLIMS.

My uncle attends this mosque. A man shot at the mosque and the local congregation made efforts to address his concerns (basically asked him why he thought they were a threat - it was after the Paris attacks). The guy came to the mosque and ended up apologizing, so people can learn.

mic.com/articles/140048/muslims-forgive-connecticut-mosque-shooter-after-he-offered-a-heartfelt-apology#.Ct51MxIe2

I don't think racism should be tolerated, but it needs to be dealt with by attempting communication, if it doesn't work then fine, leave them to it.

Only just seen this thread....but I received the same post from a relative who is a really nice person but ignorantly shares such crap too. I replied to him by saying 'The best bacon sandwich I ever had was at a Beach BBQ in the Middle East washed town with G+T. To be fair he replied with humour.

I'd get rid of her too. Dumb as a box of rocks and deliberately offensive with it.

I'd probably have to say something first though - I'd have to tell her how vile I found her opinions and what she was posting, and why. Then I'd block and delete and make no effort in person ever again.

Would you still be friends if she was a pedofile? Not mentioning it IRL but posting pictures on the internet?
Of course you wouldn't so why be freinds with a racist unless you are as stupid as they are

Shit, probably shouldn't have eaten my bacon sandwich in front of my Muslim co-workers today then....

My dil is Muslim and she and my son live in Turkey with their teenage daughter.
My son cooks and eats bacon, pork sausages etc and dil is not offended though she prefers not to eat them
They have always had a Christmas tree and celebrate Christmas. Dgd has always had a stocking.
I can't believe the small minded bigotry of some people.

I dont think people who do this are nice people who are just a bit misguided. I think they are people who have learned to act nice most of the time to fit in.

Bloody hell, if you start unfriending people on the basis of the views they hold that you don't agree with, you would soon have nobody left! You're not the internet police. I'm in Belfast; I have nationalist friends and I have loyalist friends. I may disagree vehemently with some of their viewpoints but I don't judge them on that basis.

Say you are pro-choice and you have a friend who is strongly opposed to termination - does that define your friendship? Are friends all meant to be clones of each other? Did you fall out with friends over opposing Brexit views? Yes, racism is ugly but 'unfriending' her because of that isn't nice either - much better to try to gently point out to her that she is wrong...

Your children will encounter racism anyway, you can't insulate them from that. Maybe your child could be a positive influence on hers!

ateallthechoccies - that's a great example - how fortunate that man was to be met with the patience and understanding he was so clearly lacking himself. Well done to the people from that mosque.

Say you are pro-choice and you have a friend who is strongly opposed to termination - does that define your friendship? Are friends all meant to be clones of each other? Did you fall out with friends over opposing Brexit views? Yes, racism is ugly but 'unfriending' her because of that isn't nice either - much better to try to gently point out to her that she is wrong...

I have some strong and unfavourable views of the Catholic Church, yet I count a Catholic priest and some very religious people amongst my friends on FB and we are still friends, despite some heated discussions. I make one exception and that's alt right and racists. They get blocked. I have no problem with different political views but racism and ultra-right views disgust me utterly and completely.

She's sharing stupid shit on FB though, maybe she isn't the sharpest tool in the box and hasn't thought it through? If she hasn't displayed rampant racism in 20 years other than sharing crap on FB...

Thanks Earlgreywithmilk. Maybe the OP could post counter examples like the Muslim poppy sellers metro.co.uk/2016/11/04/hundreds-of-young-muslims-are-out-selling-poppies-to-raise-20000-6235577/, or the Muslims who died fighting in World War One and Two (my great uncle died in Egypt and another survived Burma campaign). Or even the numerous marches against ISIS by Muslim groups. Perhaps just point out that her sources are wrong and link to legitimate media with these stories. (All easy to google).