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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask what makes the Ultimate Housewife ? (lighthearted)

63 replies

meladeso · 11/01/2017 08:58

I am newly a SAHM, after many years in a pretty big office job. It's a whole new world and I have never been much of a domestic goddess.

I have admired the amazing housekeeping threads in the past but never had the time to implement anything much myself.

So now I am full time on the big domestic job, AIBU to ask you all for your ultimate housekeeping tips, tricks, hacks and all round wizardry so I start this off with panache?!

OP posts:

JustHappy3 · 11/01/2017 09:26

Hire a cleaner.

Seriously though i didn't become a sahm to do the cleaning. I find my "best" weeks housework wise are when i focus on my "job" (the kids) and plan and fit the housewirk around them - just like woh parents have to do.
If i focus on it too much i go slightly nuts and tbh it negates my sense of who i am.

Sorry that's a bit serious but if you're planning to be sahm for a while i would distance yourself from being a stay at home cleaner.
However, laundry basket in every bedroom, cleaning stuff (safely) stashed in every bathroom, toilet and the kitchen. Storage, storage, storage. My house is never that clean but people think it is cos it's tidy.
And if you can afford then a cleaner - because it makes you tidy up.

laSegundaPaloma · 11/01/2017 10:14

Best tip for the Ultimate Housewife - get a cleaner! Love this

It's so true!

Yes it forces you to tidy up and maintain certain standards in the kitchen and bathroom because you can't expect the cleaner to be tidying up after your kids or loading the dishwasher etc.

Then you can get organised in the wardrobes and cupboards - make sure you're not hoarding loads of pointless stuff and you will be able to find everything. It also clears your head.

If you're at home more, it needs to be a calm, tidy environment or it will all get on top of you.

You can cook more adventurous / healthy food. Your DH will think you're amazing and the kids will grow up as less fussy eaters.

Get out every day and keep fit! Don't feel guilty meeting friends for lunch, especially when you have a baby.

Don't spend hours ironing the DH shirts. Wash and tumble dry them and then take them weekly to the dry cleaners and get them done on the steam machine thing for about 80p a shirt (something like that).

WellErrr · 11/01/2017 10:20

Look after the children, play with them, take them out, give them memories. Cook them healthy meals and teach them about the world and stuff.

Tidy up as you go along and split the rest with DH. You didn't stop work to become the family maid.

Camomila · 11/01/2017 10:39

Get out of the house every day, the less time you are in the house the less mess you can make. If you time it right then you don't have to make lunch either.

You don't say how old your DC is/are but nice lunch boxes/home made baby food always make me think 'organised parent'

SparkleShinyGlitter · 11/01/2017 10:44

I got a cleaner when I started maternity leave, fuck cleaning!

I also chucked out all the old crap we've collected when I started maternity leave, got to make room for baby they have a lot of stuff!

I Get out with baby every day for a nice coffee in the local coffee shop here

I do cook a few nights a week ( simple but impressive meals) but tbh I'm lazy and prefer DH to cook (which he does 4 nights)

Original poster

meladeso · 11/01/2017 16:33

Thanks guys, I was being more lighthearted than some of your replies really, but all points taken nevertheless.

I'm doing pretty well on the spending QT with the kids so far, and have been enjoying doing lots of cooking too when I can.

The DC are 4y and 6m. I have 3 days a week with just the baby, and 2 days with both of them.

The storage point is one I'll bear in mind for giving the appearance of tidiness

I do have a cleaner already and will keep that up for sure.

Thanks for the steam shirt thing. Never heard of it so will investigate!

Was hoping some of the MNers with tips on things like how to clean your washing machine / dishwasher etc might stop by, too!

OP posts:

Otherpeoplesteens · 11/01/2017 16:38

Was hoping some of the MNers with tips on things like how to clean your washing machine / dishwasher etc might stop by, too!

The bits that touch your laundry and dishes are, pretty much by definition, self-cleaning. Anything else is wasted effort.

Original poster

meladeso · 11/01/2017 17:25

Well that's what I always assumed otherpeople
But then I saw whole threads about vinegar and things?! Meant to stop the washing machine smelling a bit musty / mouldy which mine sometimes does

OP posts:

Camomila · 11/01/2017 17:29

My DM always puts white vinegar in the fabric softener drawer of her washing machine, the laundry always comes out really well.

TheSpottedZebra · 11/01/2017 17:31

Ignore the people on here who worship zoflora. It stinks. In a bad way.

Original poster

meladeso · 11/01/2017 17:50

Ha! Will do thespottedzebra
I can't stand very synthetic air freshener type smells

OP posts:

BusterGonad · 11/01/2017 18:23

Every now and again put your washing machine on a hot wash (90.), empty of course and run it. To clean the micro wave pop a sliced lemon in a bowl of hot water and a squeeze of washing up liquid, run the microwave for a minute or two until it all steamy then wipe the inside out, all the filth should be soft and wipe off easily. Mind you don't burn your hands. White vinegar and water mix cleans windows and mirrors. Baking soda removes bad smells.

Original poster

meladeso · 11/01/2017 22:17

Thanks Buster

OP posts:

Bin85 · 11/01/2017 22:30

You will feel better if you get out most days, friend's houses,library, toddler groups, shops whatever.
Try and have a minimum standard so you do certain jobs before you go ( don't let it stop you going though)
E.g.load dishwasher, loos,sink, surfaces and a wash on if possible. Then you can ask someone back maybe.
Spend money on decent storage that looks attractive
Look after other people's children so hopefully they will have yours sometimes

BusterGonad · 12/01/2017 03:47

When I was a stay at home mum I would meet my friends who who worked in the town center for their lunch hour, it brought structure to my day and gave me something to get dressed up for. It helped to keep the friendship alive too as I was the first to have a child. I always found unless I left the house early I was in for the day! So if you go anywhere go early, otherwise you'll get stuck on the sofa doing nowt. (I did anyway!😂)

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 12/01/2017 04:08

Always have a spray bottle out. It'll look like you were just cleaning, even if you weren't.

KittenDixon · 12/01/2017 04:42

Carol from the Walking Dead is the Ultimate Housewife. Especially in Season 6.

BusterGonad · 12/01/2017 05:03

Carol from the walking dead, I love it. Nice one kitten!

BusterGonad · 12/01/2017 05:06

I'm a crap housewife, the only thing I'm good at is laughing at my husbands jokes, but he makes that easy!

isthistoonosy · 12/01/2017 05:06

For the washing machine only ever use washing powder (no tabs or liquids) and wash bedding and towels at 60 (min) with powder for whites (helps clean the machine). When its not in use unplug it (safety for the kods) and leave the door and drawer open. Wipe the gunk from the door seal every now and then.

Dishwasher wipe the door seal etc that don't get wet when the machine is running, and clean the dirt trap bit out, keep the salt topped up.

Any of the extra stuff like maintenance washes etc seem to be over kill imo.

Original poster

meladeso · 12/01/2017 07:27

Actually bin85 I really like the idea of certain things always done before you go / start the day, that is great advice. I always feel I dash out with the kids leaving carnage behind and end up in a mad scramble to sort it out before DH gets home!
Not because he's a tyrant, because I am embarrassed

Buster I totally agree that if you don't get out early you get stuck. And I could do better at always having a plan / excuse that gets us out.

noncommittal love that!

I haven't seen the walking dead, what am I missing?

Thanks isthistoonosy I have been using liquids, so will switch in due course.

OP posts:

ToriMill · 12/01/2017 07:34

First of the month I always do basic maintence on white goods; clean filters and run service washes, to up salt and rinse aid etc. The fridge and freezer get defrosted/deep cleaned an water cartridge thingy gets swooped.

Original poster

meladeso · 12/01/2017 09:31

Wait a second bin85... Have I just understood that you clean your loos every day?!

OP posts:

Original poster

meladeso · 12/01/2017 09:33

ToriMill I like the set date idea. Can I ask a really dumb one? What exactly do you do when you defrost your freezer?! And do you switch your fridge off for some reason or just deep clean it?

OP posts:

Jecan · 12/01/2017 09:40

I've been a SAHM for a while now - my kids are older - but I've got into a routine of doing housework in concentrated bursts so that I don't feel like that's all I do.
I only do laundry on a mon & fri - yeah the machine might be on a few times on those days but then lots goes in the dryer & it's all done by the next day.
I clean the house properly on a Friday then it just needs keeping on top of in the week.
When I'm making sandwiches for dinner I make them for the next day too & clean the kitchen while the kids are eating so we're all chatting but I'm not having to do it when they go to bed.
And since my kids are a bit older, in return for me not moaning about the state of their rooms all week, they must clean them on a Saturday or their phones are confiscated.

I know some of this is no use to you now but might be useful in the future

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