To wonder why coming out is a big deal

[Princessmanuka]

Now that Kendall Jenner is preparing to come out (as gay), AIBU to wonder why this is made out to be something huge?
Surely this is 2017 and who really cares?

Well... It's a big deal to many of the people coming out themselves isn't it?

I'm old enough to remember when outing yourself as gay really was a massive problem; when there was loads of negativity and homophobia. But theses days I can honestly say I have never heard any derogatory comments made about gays on the streets, in work, generally anywhere in the UK. Especially amongst the younger generation, who have grown up to accept homosexuality as part of normal society. Of course there is homophobia in other countries, just as there is prejudice against lots of sections of society, but in modern thinking and civilised countries, people generally don't care.

But theses days I can honestly say I have never heard any derogatory comments made about gays on the streets, in work, generally anywhere in the UK

There are men who don't hear sexism or see sexism. But sexism still exists.

Same for racism. Disablism.

Just because someone hasn't seen homophobia doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

It just another verse in the kardashian hockey cokey.

And you will be able to read about it in the papers, on their show and live updates from their twitter accounts.

Kendall Jenner as in Caitlyn Jenner's daughter?

I seem to remember a bit of fuss when she came out. And of course you're still allowed to refer to Caitlyn Jenner as a man on Mumsnet.

livelove well you aren't gay, so why would you have? Those who are still face abuse and prejudice daily for just showing affection to their partners. Do you think hate crimes against homosexuals don't exist? Just because polite society is more PC doesn't mean the problem has gone away. There are still plenty of bigots about.

And of course you're still allowed to refer to Caitlyn Jenner as a man on Mumsnet.

You're allowed to state all sorts of biological facts, it's great!

AIBU to wonder why this is made out to be something huge?
Surely this is 2017 and who really cares? confused

You've lead an incredibly sheltered life if you're under the impression that everyone is a 'live and let live' liberal and that there is no such thing as homophobia.

Things are a lot better now and I think most people are very accepting. However to say that homophobia doesn't exist would be incorrect. If you think otherwise try holding another woman's hand in public for a while. Not too long ago my dw and I had a cup of coffee thrown at us just because we were walking down the street gilding holding hands.

Hmmm
My daughters gf told her mum she was gay a couple of months ago. She threatened to "beat the gay out of her."
We live in a nice liberal echo chamber. I shudder when I realise what my lovely DD may encounter.

*By 'normal' in my previous post I meant the most common. Typical. Average.

There was no implied judgement there.*

Oh the irony. Can't you see that the word you chose, however unthinkingly, illustrates exactly what the PP was trying to explain?

But yes, thank you for straightsplaining to the lesbian why her lived experiences don't really count.

Gay people want to be treated as equals and accepted as normal, yet straight people don't out themselves, and nor should gay people

For a gay person that would mean keeping their partners secret, surely? Which is no way to live. A poster on here once wrote really eloquently about what life with her closeted girlfriend was like - things like not answering the landline too often in case people realised they lived together, and not being able to tell her parents what she did at the weekend. It was so moving, I hope she posts on this thread too.

anotheronebittthedust
Put your two cents out there but DONT you dare judge me and insinuate I'm rude or stupid
You have no idea why I started the topic or who I am
Good job we are all invincible here on MN. Seeees

Have we met before? Perhaps it was one of those reverse dreams. Jeeesus Christ. [shocked]

those two messages, combined with the, frankly bizarre, private message you sent me seem a little bit over the top... No, I don't know you (why would I?) - so I have no idea whether you are rude or stupid. Your question was both though.

Why did you start the thread then? Most people on it have disagreed with you and provided examples as to why your reasoning is flawed, but you haven't responded, provided any reasoned debate, defended your own opinion, or suggested you have considered another point of view?

Oh yeah! And then you wanna know if I'm American?

You are obviously straight OP, if you don't understand how hard it can be for many gay people to come out.

What on earth?

Yeah let's not kid ourselves that homophobia has gone away. I know people in their 20s whose parents have cut them out completely over their sexuality. Of course It's a shame that people have to 'come out' at all, but I think we're a few generations away from that changing.

TheDowagerCuntess
I'm gay. (Male).

I'm gay. (Male)

So how do you feel - as a gay man - about the comments people have made about why coming out is a big deal for some and the homophobia and heteronormativity that still exists?

Then you have a quite astonishing lack of empathy.