AIBU re DH Brother

[BanjoStarz]

I'll try to keep this short, DH brother (DHB) has a disease, this disease is well medicated and if medicated properly has little to no impact on DHB daily life.

However, DHB is also an (undiagnosed) alcoholic - think bottle of vodka a night sort of thing, predictably DHB medication does not mix well with alcohol. In fact alcohol completely negates the medication.

DHB has just had an episode of the disease that has led to the temporary loss (12 months) of his driving licence, if there's another reoccurance in the next three months then the licence is rescinded for 5 years.

DH works around 10 mins away from DHB, DHB finishes 1hr after DH in the day however. As DHB now can't drive, MIL has commanded DH to become DHB driver during the week, ensuring he gets to and from work.

This will mean DH will now not get in until at least 1hr later than normal and possibly later than that if DHB has shopping to collect etc.

I'm just pissed that our lives will now be disrupted because DHB cares more about getting a drink than making sure his medication works! Obviously DH could refuse to do it but DHB doesn't work where the public transport links are good so his only other option would be to walk 5 miles each way - and your not going to drive past your brother walking in the rain are you?!

I'm so angry at him, I just want to ask him why the fuck did he not just get help with the drink problem?! So the medication would work?!

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, I don't think there's any other solution, I just need to vent.

user892 I am not sure if you mean you are an alcoholic or the bereaved adult child of an alcoholic. In any case, I am sincerely sorry for you and appreciate that this is a difficult subject. However, many posters' lives, i suspect, have been touched by this disease, so I don't think you can assume you know more than other posters about alcoholic life spans - as I stated, in my experience this can vary wildly and often quite unpredictability.

Again, I am very sorry for your experiences.

In the present case, the situation is complicated by the fact that the man is not only hammering his body with alcohol but that he is negating the effects of his medication and (if previous posters have guessed correctly) risking a serious seizure.

DH can tell his DM this is his brother's fault and you and your family are not picking up the pieces. He needs to either fit around your DH, bike, taxi or whatever. This will go on for a year. Not acceptable at all. Give him a deadline to sort himself out.

Is it diabetes?!

My DB is the same! He won't think twice about downing 6 beers at night, having a seizure and my poor mum having to find him!

I can't offer any advice, just sympathy

I would agree with PP that if this is epilepsy than cycling isn't really an option. I see no reason why you BIL will make any changes to his life if your DH is sent in to rescue him.

A bottle of vodka a night means he's going to get sicker until he dies..... probably in the next few years

Not necessarily. My functioning alcoholic cousin drinks this amount and has done for many many years

But does you cousin have a connected medical condition the medication for which will be negated by alcohol? Any one epileptic seizure (if that is what it is) can lead to death.

Thanks whattheseithakasmean. It was my father who was an alcoholic and died.

I don't think I know any more about the expected lifespan of drinking a bottle of vodka a day than anyone else with relevant anecdotal experience... But I suppose I'm touchy about the potential negative consequences of downplaying it.

Of course it depends on many different factors e.g. size of bottle, whether it's literally every day or not, his body size, his diet and lifestyle, what impact his coexisting medical condition has on his lifespan if it's essentially going untreated, whether he engages in other risky activities etc etc etc

Can I just post again to Rurhpotts link?
Government Travel grants to access work- travel and adjustments

But does you cousin have a connected medical condition the medication for which will be negated by alcohol? Any one epileptic seizure (if that is what it is) can lead to death.

Yes they do. Although it isn't epilepsy it is a condition that means that without the medication they could die.

We had to walk away and go NC as hard as it was and continues to be.