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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH Snoring - please help me!!

57 replies

Crowdblundering · 10/01/2017 11:02

OH snores REALLY badly (his brother, dad and son do too - not sure if these things are genetic?).

He works away normally but when he is home he is "off" and I am working.

I am a really light sleeper and it's really affecting me - we are very affectionate as a couple and I love having him home and cuddling in bed, going to bed at the same time etc but the lack of sleep is really getting me down.

He has gone and slept on the sofa a few times which has made me feel really bad and I have been taking herbal sleeping pills. He sometimes tries to let me go to sleep first.

He has had two ops on his nose (during first marriage) to quarterise it (?) which clearly haven't worked.

He will be living at home full time in a few years and I just wonder what the hell other people do...? Sad

OP posts:
HardofCleaning · 10/01/2017 11:06

Is it constant or only when he's sleeping on his back? Some people stick a tennis ball to their back so they can't roll over during the night and start snoring. I assume it's not a weight or alcohol issue?

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 10/01/2017 11:09

I roll him about 7 times every night off his back but he still snores on his side.

He's not overweight and makes no difference if he has been drinking or not.

Several guests have commented they can hear him from the floor above (and my DD who is next to us and DS1 is above us) Confused

OP posts:
justilou · 10/01/2017 11:10

My husband has to get his tonsils out as they are "flabby" according to the Dr. (He's not, btw...) The snoring thing is a killer isn't it? I'm praying that I will go deaf.

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 10/01/2017 11:11

Yes it is - I sometimes feel violent towards him which is terrible Hmm

Hmm may see if he also has flabby tonsils ....

OP posts:
Rumtopf · 10/01/2017 11:12

Has he tried a mouth guard to reposition his jaw, they're meant to help.
Is it weight or alcohol or congestion related?

I've found earplugs to be a godsend. I've tried multiple brands but find quells the best. Before I happened on these I was feeling fit to smother him in his sleep. I can still vaguely hear him but the vibration in my inner ear has stopped and I don't feel irritated by it.

PenguinOfDeath79 · 10/01/2017 11:14

get his GP to refer him to a sleep clinic. it sounds like sleep apnea and there is a lot they can do for that.

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 10/01/2017 11:15

Sometimes it sounds like he has stopped breathing and then he gasps - it's horrible I am waiting for him to start breathing again.

OP posts:
Bobochic · 10/01/2017 11:16

Your OH needs to see a doctor. Snoring isn't neutral for his own health, let alone yours!

RamonatheMisunderstood · 10/01/2017 11:29

The stopping breathing thing sounds like sleep apnoea. Go with him to the GP and get a referral. My husband was diagnosed a few years ago - not before he ruptured my ear drum snoring it was that bad! I ended up sleeping with ear plugs and ear defenders on - and could still hear him sometimes!

When he did his sleep trial it showed up that we were only getting a maximum of 2 hours sleep a night! I cried with relief that they could do something about it and that I was right there was a problem. Don't underestimate the impact snoring has on both the snorer's health and their partner. It was worse than when the kids were babies for sleep deprivation!

He wears a mask now, so it's a bit like sleeping next to Darth Vader but it's much much better than the snoring, and you get used to it.

Sorry for going on a bit! Seriously - get thee to a GP!!

HardofCleaning · 10/01/2017 11:31

The gaps in his breathing does sound like sleep apnea he needs to see a doctor for his own health (and your sanity).

FooFighter99 · 10/01/2017 11:34

Earplugs have saved my marriage. Get them in bulk off ebay (Howard Leight ones):

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/100-SOFT-FOAM-EAR-PLUGS-50-Pairs-of-Howard-Leight-MAX-Earplugs-WRAPPED-/152104367171

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 10/01/2017 11:47

I will try to encourage him to go - he went away with the military for three months and all his colleagues struggled - I was fine Grin

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 10/01/2017 11:59

OP tread carefully here as there isn't really anything that can be done about snoring in some cases. losing weight, avoiding sleeping on back, nose strips etc but if none of those work he may be a jaw position snorer (the one nothing really helps)

If it turns out he is a jaw position snorer try those new noise cancelling devices (seriously they look good, I've not tried it yet but will do)

I'm the chronic snorer in my house and it does upset me. I've tried everything bar the noise cancelling. thankfully my dp does fine with earplugs and is understand and loving about it.

Bobochic · 10/01/2017 12:04

Jaw position snoring is reduced very considerably with a good (made to measure) mouthpiece.

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 10/01/2017 12:08

What is a noise cancelling device?!

OP posts:
mumonashoestring · 10/01/2017 12:17

If it's interfering with his breathing then definitely see a GP - go with him for the appointment, you'll be able to give a better description of what's happening than he can. Make it clear to the GP it's more than just snoring. They should be able to refer him for testing for sleep apnoea, also possibly to check for loose skin at the back of his throat. DH snored like hell when we first met - in his case giving up smoking & less stress/reflux have helped hugely but if smoking, alcohol, excess weight aren't factors then your DH needs help from his GP.

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 10/01/2017 12:32

I am not able to go with him as he has to see the military GP.

OP posts:
PecanPiePoppet · 10/01/2017 12:42

Get him to try a nasal spray - just a basic own-brand one for allergies / hay fever NOT the expensive snore ones. My husband's doctor suggested this and it works, not always total but it's definitely an improvement!

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 10/01/2017 13:17

lack of sleep from dh snoring is a nightmare. My husband also snores whichever position he lies in, it drives me mad.

Thanks to this thread I will look into ear plugs and mouth guards as I think I will lose my mind if I keep being deprived of sleep. Had a particularly bad night on Sunday as he sunk a bottle of red wine and then a large whisky!

19lottie82 · 10/01/2017 13:25

Foo Your OH can't be that bad........ those wouldn't make a jot of difference with my DH Grin

I swear by these bad boys

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Macks-Pillow-Soft-Sleeping-Earplugs-Silicone-Ear-Plugs-Macks-Earplugs-Sleep-/302019264872?hash=item4651c04168:g:YXIAAOSwQTVWBYEL

OP, my DH is a snorer and unfortunately, after trying multiple devices and sprays, we just need to sleep in separate rooms most of the time. This really upsets me because like you, I miss the affection and intimacy, but we just have to make an effort to make time for that, such as coming in for a cuddle in the morning ect.

icy121 · 10/01/2017 13:26

LTB

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 10/01/2017 13:34

icy121 tempting!!! so wish we had a spare room, or he would sleep on the sofa. I could feel myself tearing up on sunday night as was so tired but couldn't sleep as he was so loud. Last night was bad as well.

I am physically and emotionally so tired. I can barely function at work.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 10/01/2017 13:35

crowd good luck finding a solution.

19lottie82 · 10/01/2017 13:38

Would a decent pull out sofa bed in the living room be an option?

babymouse · 10/01/2017 13:43

Please have him get checked for sleep aponea at a sleep clinic! My dh is not overweight, but physiologically the shape of his neck and chin means he had sleep apnoea. When he started using his CPAP I had my first good night of sleep in years. It's made a major difference for both of us, and even he wishes he got it sorted earlier now.

You need to rule it out before trying the fixes above, it can cause all sorts of long term issues that won't be helped with a tennis ball or breathing strips.