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Original poster

OH Snoring - please help me!!

57 replies

Crowdblundering · 10/01/2017 11:02

OH snores REALLY badly (his brother, dad and son do too - not sure if these things are genetic?).

He works away normally but when he is home he is "off" and I am working.

I am a really light sleeper and it's really affecting me - we are very affectionate as a couple and I love having him home and cuddling in bed, going to bed at the same time etc but the lack of sleep is really getting me down.

He has gone and slept on the sofa a few times which has made me feel really bad and I have been taking herbal sleeping pills. He sometimes tries to let me go to sleep first.

He has had two ops on his nose (during first marriage) to quarterise it (?) which clearly haven't worked.

He will be living at home full time in a few years and I just wonder what the hell other people do...? Sad

OP posts:
mumonashoestring · 10/01/2017 14:04

I am not able to go with him as he has to see the military GP

In that case I suggest you write up a typical night, record the snoring and the gaps in breathing on his phone (or send your phone in with him) and possibly put a decibel monitoring app on your phone and get a good, clear idea of just how loud it is before he goes in. It took us a few appointments to get DH's GP to take it seriously - to start with he just flippantly suggested that one of us sleeps in the spare room (because everyone has multiple bedrooms of course Hmm )

bungmean · 10/01/2017 14:43

Your husband is basically me. Not overweight, but snore like a bastard.

I've now been diagnosed with sleep apnoea, and have positive pressure ventilation via a mask at night. It takes a bit of getting used to, but my other half is happy as the snoring doesn't happen any more (and I feel less tired in the mornings!)

MitzyLeFrouf · 10/01/2017 14:57

'Sometimes it sounds like he has stopped breathing and then he gasps - it's horrible I am waiting for him to start breathing again.'

That's sleep apnea. It can cause deadly cardiac problems.

GizmoFrisby · 10/01/2017 15:53

Silicone earplugs and sleeping tablets work here. If it's really bad I send him to the sofa or I go and get in ds bed 😴

TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey · 10/01/2017 16:26

I have sleep apnoea. I am overweight but it exacerbates an already present problem. The lack of oxygen to the brain means that his body is lacking. It can lead to heart problems, mental health problems and can eventually be a cause of dementia. I thought I was slightly tired before using my CPAP (continuous positive air pressure) machine, now I realise I was exhausted! It is extremely quiet and DH doesn't notice it. Its a bit of a passion killer as I look like Bane off the batman films, but its better than the alternatives. Your DH needs to explain that its affecting his daily life as he's tired and not rested.

PostTruthEra · 10/01/2017 16:43

I shake him awake several times a night saying 'stop snoring' and occasionally (particularly after he's had a few drinks) contemplate his murder (obviously joking). He often sleeps in the spare room. My DH needs to drink less and drop a few kilos, which he admits but does nothing about.

Sorry, no advice, but lots of sympathy from me! Flowers

WanderingNotLost · 10/01/2017 16:44

These are the only thing that have stopped me murdering DP in his sleep. They block out his snoring and his alarm so I sleep like a baby til my own alarm goes off Grin

WanderingNotLost · 10/01/2017 16:45

Should add - i recorded DPs snoring and sent him off to the GP, he had to have a sleep study thing at hospital and they said the only thing that would stop it would be some sort of gum shield which I didn't want to subject him to. Ear plugs FTW!!

PostTruthEra · 10/01/2017 16:46

I wish I could go back to using earplugs or listening to music, but I have to be able to hear the baby if he wakes up. Hmm

FlyingElbows · 10/01/2017 16:51

I have to go to bed and be asleep before Mr Elbows goes to bed or I can't sleep at all.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 10/01/2017 16:51

That's my concern. I don't need tk listen out for babies but if I do sleep how will I hear my alarm? The dc (14&10) won't wake me they will relish in staying in bed themselves.

madcatwoman61 · 10/01/2017 18:43

He sounds like he has sleep apnoea. Try recording him and playing it back. He needs to see his GP about this, sleep apnoea can shorten your life

MabelTheCow · 10/01/2017 18:55

We were in a virtually identical situation (but I was a light snorer with the world's lightest sleeper for OH). I had tried everything from sprays, tablets, strips, straps and magic rings. We were beginning to give up hope when someone recommended I cut down on dairy as it can cause congestion. Tried it and within 5 days (I kid you not) it had significantly reduced. After a month, with snoring completely gone I went back to it but if it ever surfaces again with a cold or something it just takes a couple of dairy free days to get it to go.

floopyloopy · 10/01/2017 19:58

Haven't read all replies but my dh has a 'snore mender' worth every penny. www.snoremenders.co.uk

Good luck. It's fucking miserable trying to sleep with that racket going on next to your head.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 10/01/2017 20:18

"What is a noise cancelling device?!"

It's a pillow over the snorer's face I think Wink

Sadfacehappyface · 10/01/2017 20:46

My DH is currently snoring on the sofa, my DD just came in and said when she gets married she's going to make sure she doesn't marry someone who snores Grin

I feel your pain.

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 10/01/2017 21:51

Thanks for all the links - it is bloody awful Confused

OP posts:
beargrass · 10/01/2017 22:37

Boots muffles ear plugs!

Also insist he sleeps in spare room if you've got one. We do this because of his snoring now I often get up in the night to DD.

Sleep is precious.

KentishMama · 10/01/2017 22:59

What do you do if you can't wear earplugs because you have a baby or toddler that might call you in the night?

My DH is so bad that our 20-month old recently woke up at 3 am and told me, "Daddy noisy, I wake up". And he wasn't even in the same room!!!

Timeforteaplease · 10/01/2017 23:09

I now sleep in a different room because of the snoring, but when we have to share I do the following;
Foam ear plugs in first. Noise cancelling head phones over the top which are then plugged into my phone which is running a white noise app.
I can then usually get some sleep.
But honestly - our marriage is a much happier place now we sleep separately and I am not permanently exhausted - i.e. I'm not woken up every 30-45 minutes during the night.

Snotgobbler99 · 10/01/2017 23:30

Hi - I'm a male lurker, been watching Mumsnet for a while but have joined purely to help with this.

I'm not a doctor but if your husband is stopping breathing in his sleep, he may have sleep apnoea and should at all costs go to the doctor and get it checked out. I'm early 60's but, according to ex girlfriends, I'd probably had it since my 20's...

Sleep apnoea affects you in two ways:

Firstly, you rarely hit proper deep sleep because your brain is constantly putting you back in to light sleep mode in order to remind you to breath. 'Reawakening' hundreds of times per night means the suffer can get serious sleep deprivation - which, by itself, is no joke.

Secondly, and more seriously, the stopping breathing is preventing the body from getting adequate oxygen. The strain on the body/brain is enormous and can lead to life threatening conditions including strokes.

If your husband has got this, it will be affecting everything. He'll be suffering constantly fatigue but he may not realise this because for him, it's normal... Once I'd been diagnosed, I was given a CPAP machine - which is a bit Darth Vader - but it keeps my airways open. Quite frankly, my CPAP machine has given me a new lease on life. It was a bit uncomfortable at first but I felt ten years younger within days of getting it.

Please get your husband to the doctor. If he does have apnoea the diagnosis/treatment can be life-changing.
Drag him kicking and screaming if you must.

Best Wishes
Snotgobbler

northerngirl71 · 10/01/2017 23:49

OP I can relate - my DH is a big snorer but without the problems of your DH ie the possible apnoea- please get that looked into . We don't have a spare room but during a heavy cold or if he puts on weight (& it doesn't have to be much !) DH goes to sleep on sofa and he's a really heavy sleeper so that works for us .
Otherwise I lie awake prodding him to turn over all night Confused

CakesRUs · 10/01/2017 23:55

I've had 31 years of this, it drives me mad, he goes down the other end of the bed, or, if it's empty the spare room if he's had a drink. He bought me some sleep earphones, which are on like a headband with flat earphones in, so I listen, on youtube, to 8 hours of serene sea music, which just bores me to sleep and blocks out the noise, they do help. I've just bought him a chin strap, not sure if it works yet (we are, obviously, bringing sexy back). Good luck, it drives me nuts.

GizmoFrisby · 11/01/2017 05:56

If you need to wear earplugs and have little ones,( I do ) then dp must get up with dcs. It's not every night my dp snores it's more if he's really tired or if he's had a drink. It's easier to send him to sofa however I can sometimes hear him from the sofa🤔

Jaagojaago · 11/01/2017 06:19

A set of snore ease it sinilar ear plugs off Amazon have transformed my life. I now use it during all kinds of moments over the day