To be annoyed with parents allowing their "just walking " toddlers to wander aimlessly

[Ab1000]

When I'm on my lunch break I'm always in a rush to get stuff done. It's so annoying when parents allow their kids to toddle around and get in everyone's way. I have two children so I do know what it's like but mine were either on reins or had a hand firmly held.

Nope, child screamed, parents yelled at me. Fun times!

Really irritating. I'm always terrified that I'll bump into them or kick them or something, too.

Especially annoying when someone lets their tiny child go up a flight of steps on the tube etc painfully slowly.

NB as people have said, I do know some adults meander and amble and stop dead for no reason too, and they've really got no excuse!

Young child - 3/4 in Sainsbury's last week. Mum was letting her stretch up & push the trolley independently from her. She was weaving all over the place. Missed me a few times. Mum had a tinkly laugh and was all " careful darling ". I had to leg it to the other end of the shop. I gave her a couple of " really " looks, and she just laughed more screechy. Mad!

Round here we have the nightmare of toddlers on scooters
So antisocial! having to Dodge them on the busy school run is a nightmare & they're usually so far ahead the parent can't see that theyve just smacked you in the foofah & little Johnny either thinks its hilarious or whines as he crashes into you then parent runs up & gives you a dirty look as if you caused it grrrrrrrrrr!

pho3be, yes, here too! Actually, it's not just toddlers but bigger children too, who are just as dangerous as they tend to be very daredevil.

Doting parents round here also let their kids ride scooters in shops with narrow aisles. Brilliant idea. Fecking idiots.

OP and others permanently in a hurry

Just stop all this self imposed "running around" and do things at a normal pace. Just try it. Walking normally, allowing for the elderly, toddlers, people with buggies and aimless wanderers to slow you down. you may lose, what, 20 seconds being stuck behind a toddler? Just chill out a bit.

Nobody has to constantly run around and be in a hurry.

Will do wonders for your health too

Nobody has to constantly run around and be in a hurry.

No of course not - life is just a gentle stroll. Public transport is never delayed and roads are never jammed so everyone has all the time in the world. If I'm late for work tomorrow I can just tell my boss to chill out

There is normal and then there is meandering pace, Ruby. It's not so much the speed, anyway; it's the unpredictability. I am often a few seconds away from being tripped up by an off-piste toddler or run over by a kid on a scooter in the supermarket, and constantly afraid that I'll stand on one of said toddlers as they drift into my path.

Scooters in a supermarket - no
Toddler walking in a supermarket, why not?

• Most people are walking slowly, stopping suddenly, standing in the way, etc so why not allow a toddler to do the same.
• With more than one toddler it is not possible to have them all safely in the trolley
• How will children learn how to behave in a supermarket if they are allowed to learn?
• To the posters saying that they can't see the toddler standing in front while pushing a trolley because they put a car set on top - does it mean you would also run into an adult with restricted growth and say it is their fault for being there?? If your car seat obstructs your view then put it inside the trolley, or use a baby carrier.

"I let my toddler toddle around anywhere and everywhere to annoy everyone..."

If this is true, @Zippysbird, how would you react if your toddler tripped up a disabled person or an elderly one, causing them real injury? It doesn't take much of a fall for an elderly person to fracture their hip, and even with surgery, they might never walk properly again. They might develop dementia as a result of the trauma and the surgery, and end up needing to go into a home - I have seen that, on wards where I have worked. Would that be mike mouse-drop hilarious?

What if your free range toddler ran into the path of a car, or a heavy supermarket trolley or someone carrying a hot drink, and got hurt?

If you are happy to take the same blasé attitude to injury to your child or someone else, then carry on letting them free range on purpose to annoy others.

If this was intended as a joke - I apologise for not finding it amusing.

It's just bloody patronising to tell someone they don't 'need' to be in a hurry and to 'chill out a bit'.

That's really not your call.

people don't have to get out of your way because you're in a rush

The obvious riposte to this is "people don't have to get out of your way because you're dawdling"

With or without a toddler.

I'm not in a rush. I just want to tuck myself in to the inside of the pavement and walk in a straight line, slowly on my crutches, keeping out of the way of as many people as possible. The same in a supermarket, I just want to go in a straight line.

Get behind a toddler and they step to the left, so you go right, just as you try to pass they go back to the right etc. It's that that I can't cope with. It's difficult enough having mobility problems as it is.

Wow. Heaven forbid you allow your child who can walk to actually walk! Some toddlers won't just happpily sit in a buggy, wear reins or obediently hold hands. But that doesn't mean that every parent with a child like that simply let's them run riot everywhere. My daughter is nearly two, very independent and likes to walk as much as possible. I let her do so when and where reasonable. The alternative would be a string of almighty tantrums which I suspect would also offend you!

I am sure I read a lot of posts on other threads from people saying there was no reason for a child older than 3 to be strapped in a buggy, they need to learn to walk, etc.

Basically a toddler is a human being who has as many rights as a busy commuter to be in a public space. And they can both walk as they please as long as they don't hurt anybody else.
Someone upthread said that they were not paying taxes, but this is not a valid argument! Or does it mean that unemployed people / elderly / anybody else not paying taxes shouldn't be allowed either?

that doesn't mean that every parent with a child like that simply let's them run riot everywhere.

No, absolutely. It's the ones who DO that this thread is moaning about!

8 times out of 10 excursions with my toddler involve him being broadly under control with proactive management by myself but of little significance to the passing observer.

1 time in 10 he is so unbelievably angellic that strangers coo and smile and we look like the very model of wonderful parenting.

1 time in 10 he goes completely fucking rogue.

Would be nice to have advance notice of when the feral instinct was about to take over so I could avoid being caught chasing a 2 year old shouting "you can't catch me mummy!" down every bloody aisle in Sainsbury's.

My son was a runner - as in dangerously so (ADHD) and on reins, sometimes a little longer than usual, maybe a bout 50 cm, since I am tall. The abuse I got because of the reins and people tripping over them.

Often enough on a mobile phone.

Yes children should not block exits and entrances, nor be completely free range and potentially underfoot in a cafe or restaurant, or close to a road, or busy shop (espec. if there is a potential for the child to get lost or separated from the carers) but equally adults should stop and step out of the throng if they are using mobile phones.

Anyone pulling a trunk, or a case, or a beautician's equipment behind them should be equally expected not to prove a hazard to others.... and aware that other may have limited peripheral vision; I have to say in this regard adults have been the worse in my experience.

My great gripe is about ninja joggers/cyclists, in dark clothes and without lights or headtorch, esp on a poorly lit boardwalk. Also dogs that are not given a reflective collar or some such: I am walking in a reflective outdoor jacket, with a headtorch, and with my dogs wearing light-up collars (on a dog walking, beach unleashed permitted/welcome): do not scream at me if you run into my dog, or my dog gets antsy and a little protective if you come shooting out on foot or wheels at 8-10 miles an hour along a pedestrian boardwalk like a pounching camouflaged black panther...
WE were visible/

Indeed.

A child of 3 or 4 in a buggy might also be large for age, have their own mobility problems, be participating in an outing where the walk is maybe several miles (and a certain speed is required by the adult/parent to get them where you are going on time) or the child might instead or also be a runner who will disappear or potentially run into traffic or other areas of danger (an open lift). Mummy may also have to carry several items home either in her hands (and so be limited in capacity to control the child far less chase them down) and/or carry them in the buggy basket.

Agree with Hadenoughoftumble . My youngest is 3.5, but small for her age and looks more like a 2 year old toddler. She is unsteady on her feet, but needs to practice walking as often as possible to strengthen her muscles as she has low muscle tone and joint hypermobility. I get lots of looks from people wondering why I am holding people up as my apparent toddler tackles stairs and high curbs with difficulty. Maybe just take a breath and live and let live.

@Ab1000 Really? About the elderly in Tesco's in the middle of the day, in daylight hours, when the buses are more frequent?

You do realise that isolation, depression and loneliness in that generation is a serious problem and that might be their only social interaction that week?

YANBU.

Let your child with no sense of safety run around the pavement and don't be surprised if it gets a knee in the face or falls off its scooter into traffic.

But of course if that happened, it wouldn't be your fault...

Completely hoofed a toddler up on the end of my foot in a clothes shop once. I was walking between high racks of clothes, not looking down, and didn't see the tiny person running around in front of me. I was mortified but also fed up with the child's mum. It happens a lot, more these days, when children are not on reins and have parents who seem to have all the time in the world to dawdle alongside the child, oblivious to people trying to get past them.

The other side of the coin VintageGoth is that I'm hypermobile and disabled by it and whilst I can walk and it's good for my strength too it's easier for me to keep to a pace and not stop and start too suddenly. I've frequently almost been tripped by an ambling toddler or worse, one zipping about on a scooter. Having EDS means if I fall, or even stop suddenly I could easily dislocate a major joint.

My DS was an early walker and was also small for his age. He had only just started wearing 6-9m clothes when he became mobile, just for reference. He would walk very confidently holding a hand and enjoyed it, but we wouldn't allow it if it was busy. So shopping in Tesco in a quiet period was fine, walking through Meadowhall on a Saturday afternoon was not. And if he started faffing or got mardy he was quickly swept up into a football hold and into the buggy/trolley as soon as we could stop somewhere where we wouldn't obstruct others. XP was very firm about this and I agreed.

If he wanted to amble, that's what the park or soft play was for. Somewhere child friendly, not where others were rushing about or where he could get injured. He has EDS traits too and is prone to frequent soft tissue injuries, so I'm not going to risk him getting hurt. I still have to police him. He has ASD so can be a bit 'vague' at the best of times. I quite often find myself steering him out of the way of people rushing/with trolleys/ buggies.

There's a time and place for everything. Yes little ones need to practice, but not where they could be injured or cause others injury in a busy environment. And theres a massive difference between the toddlers who are being properly supervised and those who are just roaming whilst the parent is looking at/doing something else. I just don't understand why others don't get this.

Like many posters on here I am also amazed how many parents are saying "he won't hold my hand", or " he won't go in the buggy", or "he won't wear reins"?!!! Make them!!!!! They may have a screaming fit, but you have to show who is in charge surely?! They soon get used to it and comply. The more you give in, they more they learn that if they have a tantrum they get their own way.
Also amazed at people who say they can't go out, or "are in for 14 hours a day, so when we go to the shops I let him roam free"! What's wrong with taking them to a park and letting them roam free there, and when they are on a pavement by a road they have to hold hands, have reins or be in a buggy. It's about being in control and teaching them about safety.