Husband refusing to sit in economy class

[waterfallrainbow]

We are desperate for some winter sun. But DH (who doesn't care about winter sun) has imposed some conditions: He will only fly for up to 3 hours in an economy seat because he says any longer will damage his knees. He is 6 foot 3.5 with very long legs. Trouble is, you can't really get any winter sun within 3 hours. I can't help thinking he's being a bit precious. In the end we've shelled out an extra £1k for him to fly business class while we go cattle class, which basically means I am paying for his flight. I have long legs too... We have to go on a cheaper holiday as a result. Slightly struggling with my attitude...

but he pointed out (undeniably) that we need a family holiday for bonding

Blimey OP you have a lot more going wrong in your relationship than how much legroom on a flight!! Who uses this sort of language about their own family unless they think that it is unbonded?

So much in your post I just don't get. Who is the "we" at the start of your post as its not your DH who wants Winter sun?

Why does this all mean that you are paying for his flight. don't you share the cost of holidays from a family pot then?

if he doesn't want winter sun but you/others do, then why not go without him and do the bonding holiday later on in the year when you don't have to fly so far to get some sunshine.

why business class? why not an emergency exit seat?

My husband is 6 foot 4 he manages fine.

Oh I suggested that, but no. Apparently bulkhead seats are no longer acceptable. Tripping the hostess up until she moves you to a decent seat also no longer acceptable, which has always been our failsafe ruse. Is this really a thing? Can economy seats hurt your legs if you are tall? I guess that's the nub of my AIBU; is he justified in saying it will damage his knees? He does have knee problems generally.

You need a holiday together for bonding, yet that bonding experience will start whilst you are in economy and he is in a completely different - and nicer - section of the plane?

Yes it can hurt. A lot. I have found flights to New York (as an example) very easy in the past but my knees are quite damaged these days and I struggle to make a flight even as short as one to Amsterdam from Scotland. Even during the summer I was at an outdoor event with quite tight seating and I was almost in tears near the end as I couldnt move my legs. I was lucky though as we were asked to stand for the national anthem. As a republican I would usually grumbly heavily about that but it was bliss to stand and stretch. If he has knee problems then tight seats can be very bad no matter how much buttercup sucking goes on.

is he justified in saying it will damage his knees?

I'm not an expert but surely sitting is the issue? I.e. not solved by sitting somewhere more expensive?

but he pointed out (undeniably) that we need a family holiday for bonding How much bonding are you going to do if you're looking after the kids on the flight while he relaxes in business class? Is he joining you trailing round the duty free shops, or staying in the BC lounge?

Can economy seats hurt your legs if you are tall?

Well I can only offer my own experience as someone who has spent time with his femur jammed between the seatback and the seat in front - knee being cracked each time the person in front shifts in their seat - yes. But you don't need to sit in business to escape this just book extra legroom. As for all the other superhuman DHs and "suck it up" merchants, I would cheerfully swap some of my height for being able to fit into cars, furniture, buses, trains more easily, but I can't. I am not massively overweight either before anyone assumes it. I apologise for being a freak but I can't help it.

Dh is over 6'4" and while he has flown economy but was in agony...Of course the limited space hurts! Even more so with bad knees. I get it is expensive and annoying, but he doesn't sound unreasonable to want to avoid Extreme discomfort. He did give the option of a shorter flight but you said no.

I was moved to a leg room seat once because I had a bad knee.

gosh! first world problems eh....

I think you are being somewhat U.

Read your post:

WE are desperate for some winter sun. But DH ( who doesn't care about winter sun )...

Putting the two bits together, you actually meant:

I am desperate for some winter sun.

So DH is not unreasonable to object to being squashed into a sardine seat.

More fool you for 'obeying'!!
You should have gone without him and told him he's more than welcome once he's got the fuck over himself.

^ this

So if you are going longhaul why did you not look at emergency exit seats which are in economy but he can stretch out ?The supplement for them is far less. Also there are more of them on larger aircraft.

Your husband is only being unreasonable to put the marker in at 3 hours! My limit is 4.5 but then I'm only 5ft 4. After some horrendous 12 hour flights in economy I just won't do it- I sacrifice accommodation and extras if I have to. We just booked Antigua in premium economy- got a stonking deal- upgrade for all 3 of us was £850. He's defo being unreasonable for not upgrading you all tho! That is a step too far!

Economy seats are horrible for tall people. I'm not even that tall (5'8") and I struggle on flights longer than 4-5 hours. I did the Canaries last year and it was just about okay, but any longer and I do end up pretty sore for a couple of days after. I can't imagine it would be much fun for someone who's 6'3"!

If its an exercise in bonding, shouldn't he be paying for you to sit alongside him????? It's only fair :)

I have knee problems and I couldn't do more than 2-3 hours in economy. I'm 5'9 with longish legs. I struggle to sit in the back of a car too because my knees are forced to stay bent in the same position. It becomes very painful and the longer I'm forced to sit like that the more likely it is that the pain continues even after I'm off the plane and it can be painful walking afterwards.

What is wrong with getting up and walking about every now and then. Or having the seat near the emergency exit?

OP there is no point asking us about his knees
One person will be in pain, another won't
I hate travelling so I get how he feels
But the finance thing is different, depends how you do your money
HNBU to want comfy travel but i do wonder if he should have stayed home if it caused £ issues.

Thanks everyone, I have come to the conclusion that I am being unreasonable! Assuming that an economy flight can actually damage one's knees? Is this a thing? Daily Mail can you ask a doctor please?

Yeah, we did consider Morocco but we don't want to go there every year and we've already been. In the end we plumped for Jordan. Good value because everyone thinks it's a war zone, which it isn't, and really fascinating plus Aqaba gets up to 26 degrees C! I realise lots of people go to Tenerife etc but I find the Canaries etc are not quite warm enough. Personally if I could I'd be going to the Caribbean. But can't afford long haul business class!

Why do we need bonding? Um, not really any one else's business what brand of hell and back we've been through recently but all families need bonding and holidays! If your family genuinely doesn't then well lucky you, but you are the exception, not the norm. If nothing else, it's good for children to go abroad and get rid of their prejudices.

If the Mail are reading this, feel free to raise the issue of airlines not being big enough for tall people! The average height has risen but planes haven't taken this into account and economy seats are just too small for some.

There were no premium economy flights to Jordan at all according to seat guru. We spent many hours researching the different options of business flights and economy flights and in the end we found that the cheapest business flights were on Royal Jordanian on that particular day.

6'7" DH, 6'2" DD 6'1" me.....flying to NZ next month and wishing I had skipped this thread. Bulkhead seats are often worse if you have long thigh bones AND large feet (13,10,11 respectively) as once your toes touch the bulkhead there is no stretching. Not sure we will get fire exit/wing seats as have 3 children with us!

vdbfamily brave! I wish I could think of a reassuring answer to that one. How do you cope with it? Indeed there's no stretching really even with a bulkhead seat. Especially at 6 foot 7

Vdb, adults only in exit row seats.

Enjoy Jordan OP - lovely country with amazing people. You have to get to Wadi Rum and Petra, some of the most memorable and stunning places I've ever seen.