To not allow DS to drink tea and coffee age 12

[user1474221222]

DS started secondary school in September and recently asked if he could have a cup of coffee as a drink when arriving home.

I've said no but as a child of the 1970's I had my first cup of coffee age 4 after been taught how to make one for my parents

So am I just being unreasonable ?

Sorry, but what's the issue with tea or coffee?

You can get de caf tea bags because I use them . How about hot chocolate ?

YABU. A cup of coffee at 12 is fine.

At 12 (and before) I made endless rounds of tea and coffee for family and friends. I can't imagine being told I couldn't have a cup.
I've been drinking tea since babyhood and my toddler used to love it but has gone off of it.
Now I wouldn't be happy at a 12 year old having red bull or monster but maybe that's hypocritical.

I used to go home at lunchtime from secondary sometimes and have a cup of coffee and a fag sitting on the back step before heading back. My nanny started me on milky coffee when I was around 3 or 4 years old. Obviously, none of that means it is a great thing to do, although my DC have the occasional tea and I would let DC have a coffee a day at 12.

I say no! After having to give up due to migraines and the fact caffeine stays in your system for 12 hours, it's a definite no from me

Clipper decaff is quite nice tea.

Blimey. My dcs love a cup of tea. My youngest is 9! He loves getting later on a Sunday and making himself a cuppa. I never thought anything of it.

My eldest is nearly 12. She loves a coffee. Not everyday but weekends especially. I'll buy her a latte if we're out.

I think my 12 and 16 year olds eat more caffeine in chocolate than they drink in tea and coffee.

I would much rather see children having unsugared tea and coffee than fizzy drinks especially the diet kind.

If he fancies a cup of coffee when he gets back from school I really can't see the problem. Nothing is without some sort of downside, including decaf coffee!

YABU. If that's what he wants, let him try it. My parents let me drink coffee from the age of about seven - not huge amounts, one or two cups a day perhaps.

People always think that this is weird when I tell them, but it doesn't seem to have harmed me. I still have a couple of cups a day now, although in the summer I tend to not have any for a few months (and I'm not going to swap it for iced coffee, either!). I'm certainly not addicted to it.

If you really are that concerned, give him decaf.

DD1 likes a coffee first thing - she;s almost 14, has been like this on and off for about 18 months. It's really no big deal. I wouldn't be thrilled about her having coffee later in the afternoon for sleep reasons, but if OP's DS isn't affected I don't see the issue at all. Coffee isn't crack cocaine.

I presume he drinks Coke and other fizzy drinks that are full of caffeine?

I used to take hot drinks to primary school in flasks (kermit the frog style, if I recall)

Plus, they really helped with my asthma.

Mind you DD(10) showing no interest in tea etc - and I'm fine with that.

My parents didn't let us have tea and coffee till post 16.

Remember being most bemused about making tea when on work experience at 15 - what did you do with the bag leave it in or not how long to leave for did you wish round.

When we were allowed it my parents seemed very surprised we didn't really like either. They then tried us with hot chocolate but wasn't keen on that.

I gradually acquired the habit - mainly as you get offered it so much as an adult - now drink a fair bit. My sister still doesn't drink either - which really throws people when they offer drinks.

I thought only issue was not to drink it regularly with meals.

YABU and a bit daft tbh.
If you are worried about the caffeine, then let him have decaff, but, quite frankly, one a day is not going to lead him to a life of ruin.

"Most people aren't affected by moderate amounts of caffeine, so unless you're drinking way too much of it, or particularly sensitive to it, there's no real need to drink decaffeinated anyway."

I totally agree with this. I just know in our cases that I'm sensitive to caffeine and DS needs medication to sleep. For anyone else without an issue I say have at it!

And Fruti poor you! Caffeine is one thing that helps my migraines, when virtually everything else triggers them, lol!

I developed a taste for coffee very young - about age 7 - when I had a taste of my gran's coffee (it smelt so yummy!). Immediately loved it and wanted to drink it. My mum asked the doctor about it - he said it was fine as long as I had it milky. To this day I love it and it's never done me any harm.

Tea, I've had as it comes since I was a toddler - I don't like it as much as coffee but I do drink it and have done since about age 3. My friend's 2 year old drinks weak milky tea and loves it.

think only 'letting' him have decaf or milky is completely ott personally- what if he doesn't like milky tea?

most schools sell tea/coffee, either in canteen/vending machines. If he's tired and you don't 'allow' him a normal coffee he could easily pop in the shop on the way home and buy himself a few red bulls or something which are surely much, much, worse caffeine and sugar wise. Surely having one or two caffeinated drinks a day, made how he likes them, is a nice, easy, tiny step bridging the gap from child to adulthood?

YABU. He's 12, not 2. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me and tea/coffee without sugar is much healthier than Coke or other fizzy drinks. I had proper strong cups of tea every day from age 8 or so - my family drank a lot of tea! I was also shown how to make it at that age and used to make cups for everyone. My sister even had occasional milky tea in a sippy cup as a toddler!

As long as he isn't drinking it right before he goes to bed, the caffeine shouldn't be a problem.

What's the issue? Is it the caffeine? It is a very mild stimulant that has been studied a lot, and is not harmful for most people, unless they have particular sensitivities. What's the problem with him having it if he likes it?

milky coffee or tea is gross imo, let him have the normal stuff because when he's out of the house he's going to drink it any way, why are you policing this so much ? i guess he doesn't have chocolate, fizzy drinks etc then, they have caffeine too. i feel a bit sorry for him tbh, you may mean well but it's not really doing him any favours and god forbid he ever told his mates about it.

My 14 year old ds has the odd cup of tea and has done for years. He doesn't like coffee - it's quite an acquired taste I think, I didn't drink it until my early 20s but prefer it to tea now.

Anyway the thing that will really make you clutch your pearls is that I let him drink a glass of M&S 4% alcohol Buck's Fizz on Christmas Day. And a similar glass of Kir Royal on New Year's Eve. He liked it more than he likes coffee or tea for that matter.

what does he drink?