To not allow DS to drink tea and coffee age 12

[user1474221222]

DS started secondary school in September and recently asked if he could have a cup of coffee as a drink when arriving home.

I've said no but as a child of the 1970's I had my first cup of coffee age 4 after been taught how to make one for my parents

So am I just being unreasonable ?

My 11 year old makes himself a cup of tea when he fancies one. Never occurred to me to stop him.

I feel like some people have a surprisingly Mormon attitude towards tea and coffee...

I'd put out a tin of decaff. Just watch the sugar intake. I was having Nescafe from age 11 or so, but with 2+ spoons in.

You could let them drink Redbush tea (rooibos). It's caffeine free and has some health benefits.

I'd allow one at 12. Not before, though.

oh yes Redbush - my son used to love that when he was younger. A really tasty tea as well as being caffeine free.

Yabu, let him try it, he might not even like it. He can just go to the nearest Starbucks if you say no anyway

He'll be able to buy them at school if his school canteen's like ours.

I don't like either, but my dc do, and the fact they're allowed it if they want means they rarely bother.

Dd has gone to school with a travel mug of latte for past year or two (she's 14y now) and enjoys the off coffee when out - again usually a latte so milky but sometimes fairly strong.

She used to have milk occasionally before when still at primary but wasn't as keen. We have decaf tea at home but she would have had caffeinated out and about, and the coffee at home is caffeinated.

Wouldn't think to say no once at secondary age tbh. Maybe moderation but once a day in a morning and maybe a couple on a weekend day then I'm not concerned.

My DS has had tea since a toddler and started on milky coffee only recently. He's 9. I am really sensitive to caffeine so both of us only have caffeine before 4pm. After that it's decaf only (including drinks like coke etc).

Sugar is the bigger enemy imo so he gets max 1/2 a teaspoon and usually only when my mum makes it. I was drinking mine with milk and 2 at his age and didn't kick it until I was nearly 30!

There is a coffee vending machine at my Dad's secondary school (abroad, children aged 10-18) - 4 types of coffee, hot chocolate, hot water for your own tea bags.

Children are given tea from babyhood but it's not PG tips fruit or herbal teas are popular for babies and toddlers though - our nursery has tea,milk or water as options for the kids to help themselves to from age 3-6.

I did have scruples when DD's friend asked me to buy her a coffee instead of a hot chocolate when I treated them at a cafe in town, but have since decided this was silly

DD not dad!

Coffee has genuine, proved, health benefits.
Although tea and coffee do (as mentioned) inhibit iron absorption on a short-term basis so they shouldn't be consumed directly alongside food. By anybody, not just kids. It's not the caffeine, btw, so decaf doesn't help. (Most people aren't affected by moderate amounts of caffeine, so unless you're drinking way too much of it, or particularly sensitive to it, there's no real need to drink decaffeinated anyway.)

DD (12) has tea every morning (and often when she gets home from school). She's had a fair few milky coffees too. There are worst things he could have but yes, decaf is the way forward.

Tea? YABU as long as it's without sugar
Coffee? YANBU

decaff is a crime against nature , unless there is a medical reason, yabu imo, he is 12 after all, it's not like alcohol is it ?

My grandparents used to discourage, in fact forbid, tea drinking for us grandchildren. Apparently it takes away the bloom in the cheeks and gives a pallid complexion. How strange that sounds reading back

I think you are not being unreasonable, OP. Coffee, I think, as somebody has said, can be beneficial, but I think there are better things for children to drink.

Why wouldn't you let him?

Two of mine have loved tea from being babies, they would minesweep for any dregs left.

Those saying yes to tea but no to coffee, you do realise that tea contains as much caffeine as coffee right?

I've drunk both since I was small (small cups, and very milky.)

Honestly can't be any worse for him than coke/red bull etc.

" you do realise that tea contains as much caffeine as coffee right? "

to be honest, the way that most people make it, it probably doesn't.

I think 12 is fine so long as you limit it. A cup or 2 a day is ok but I don't think I would like a young teenager to drink more than that.

I grew up in a 'cup of tea every 15 minutes' house but never liked it so didn't drink any. My brother was drinking tea from around age 8, has done him no harm and he grew to over 6ft.

When I was 14 I discovered coffee (Easter revision course at local collage run for school kids - pressed the wrong button on the drinks machine and ended up with coffee instead of hot chocolate) and have never looked back. I would have a coffee before school every morning - black with no sugar. In 5th year I started to take a flask of coffee into school with me to have at lunch time as the only thing on offer was sugary flavoured milk or fizzy drinks. I've now discovered green tea which I like on occasion or if it's normal tea I can take it so long as i don't add milk.

DD (7) has tried both and isn't keen. She likes the odd sip of my cappuccino but has zero interest in tea. (But will happily dunk biscuts in other people's tea )

I honestly don't understand what the issue is here.

Don't most 12 year olds drink tea and decaf coffee? Must live in a parallel universe as all my 4 kids see did and all their friends did. High school offers all hot drinks.

I have never understood why some people refuse to let their children have tea and coffee. It's just weird to me. I grew up drinking both from as far back as I can remember. I was never deficient in anything and was one of the healthiest kids around.

DS2 age 8 has one most mornings with two sugars, coffee mate and half milk half water. I don't worry too much about the sugar as he dosent like sweets or chocolate (weird I know) and only drinks water and milk usually.