To feel a bit crap because

[AMillionMilesFromThere]

I've come for my first antenatal booking in appointment, just sat in the waiting area and can see loads of partners have come too.. don't think dh has ever been with me for any of my antenatal appointments (3rd pregnancy), because he's always busy with work and is ever practical .

I'm not sat crying over it - I just felt abit ... I dunno. Don't even know why I'm posting really ! Aibu to feel abit crap though?

DH hasn't been to any of mine. He comes to most of the scans though apart from the extra ones I'm having at the mo.
TBH I'd rather go on my own and fill him in later!
Also he's self employed so would lose money. I've never minded to be fair. I know what you mean though.

Sadly I don't remember if he did or not

3 kids and dh only came to scans. It just didn't seem worth taking all that time off work.

I'm a midwife and I would say the majority of women come on their own for their booking appointments and indeed most of their appointments.

My OH comes to scans and that's it. Why do they need to be there for any other appointment? Unless you're having serious problems and need the support. He books a holiday day well in advance (gets 30 days so not an issue). I hope people don't assume we're "on the dole" because he's there

This if a total guess as sadly it hasn't happened for us yet, but my DH's boss/company is very good about leave for things line this so I suspect he'd want to come for them, so would be there for the first few - and then if they're as dull as you're all saying we'd decide he didn't need to. Then I'd be quietly annoyed about it because a) why should he not have the time out of work penalty too!! Feminism!! And b) I'd see the other DH's there too and feel like you do.

I'm not saying these are rational reasons, btw, just: we'd probably do what you're doing too and yanbu about feeling like that.

DH came to scans & that was it for both DC, bit pointless them being at the midwife appointments.

My Dh has come to all, with first child because it was an excuse to work from home that day and he had a 5 hour round trip commute. The clinic always runs fairly close to time and is a 5 minute walk from our house. This time because our baby is quite seriously ill and there are major concerns to be discussed at every appointment. So there are always a variety of reasons for partners to come along and I wouldn't over think it too much as long as you feel supported and you said you do.

1st baby - DH came to all the appts because he worked shifts so I could book spots when he was around and I didn't drive (got a lift with colleagues to work) so he would pick me up and take me and drop me back.
2nd baby - he only came to appts he was either around for or Ines which meant driving to the hospital
3rd baby - we had moved to a village by this time so again due to not driving he came to most appts with me (and was helpful to keep other 2 small children out of mischief. He would often sit outside with them while I went in.

Its interesting to me that people are having to book days/afternoons off to get appointments. I can pretty much pick my time of appointment from 8am to 5pm and have never struggled to get one at a time before work (second pregnancy here, same both times). I am at a midwife unit at the local health centre, so wonder if it's different if you are seeing a midwife at the hospital? I'm in scotland if it makes a difference.

I have also had the exact same midwife for every appointment for both of my pregnancies, she is fantastic. But this also seems to be unusual.

Wouldn't worry. Some women drag their husbands to everything. I remember once being at a bridal exhibition and seeing a girl I knew from school dragging her husband around - there were NO men's outfits/grooms wear in the area at all. Joint at the hip I suppose.

I was always alone,except scans.dh had work to go to...you will be fine.chin up girl x

DH only came to my scans, other things I went to by myself or post baby sometimes DM came with me for moral support (e.g. First set of jabs) as she doesn't work. If I need to go to the go by myself I aim for a morning one so DH can look after DS for a bit and then he stays late at work to make up for it.

DH never comes to antenatal appointments either. 4th baby. They don't really need to come. The others are probably mainly first timers.

Mister - 8am-5pm is prime work hours for most. Most people here are already in work or on way by 8am, and work until 6-6.30pm. No weekend appointments. Hence time weekdays has to be booked off

Well apart from scans-he comes to those

Mine never came to any routine appointments and I didn't expect him to but he willingly went to the scans.

My DH never attended a dr or midwife appointment. Only the scans. It didn't even occur to me to think he should, they are pretty uneventful really!

My XP came to all of my appointments, which at the time I thought was lovely. However, looking back it was actually because he was an abusive, controlling arsehole who wanted to make sure I said all the 'right' things.

It's not always a positive thing. Not saying all the women there are all based, but you might be surprised by the amount of partners who control under the guise of 'being supportive'.

My Dh never came to appointments. He came to 20 week scan but as I was expecting Dts I had loads more scans and went on my own.

It never occurred to me for him to be there. He was working but probably would have come on a day off.

My mum came to one later appointment and did my head in

*abused not all based

Different strokes for different folks but some people on this thread are just unnecessarily nasty. At our central London hospital I see lots of partners at antenatal appointments, and most are in a suit and tie so presumably not on the dole. My DH comes to all the scans and the longer antenatal appointments (booking, birth plan discussion etc) but skips the ones where it's just urine/BP/Doppler. He isn't "dragged" there by me either - what a load of sexist bollocks! He's interested, he's my birth partner so he's there for support, it's his baby, and his work allows for time off for antenatal appointments.
It sometimes feels like men can't win on MN though - behave in a perfectly reasonable and equitable manner and you're considered either to be on the dole or potentially abusive.
Not to say that partners who can't get time off or mum's to be who'be done it all before and know what to expect are in the wrong either - just do whatever works for you.
(I wouldn't have posted but the JudgyMcJudgerson tone of some of the responses got my goat).

My DH came to scans with both DD's and with DD2 he managed to come to some other midwives appnts but only because they were on a Sunday so he wasn't working and it meant that we could go and do our weekly shop with DD1 straight after. Otherwise he wouldn't have been there! As long as your DH is being supportive and helpful I wouldn't let it bother you in the slightest!

I really wouldn't worry. I'm pregnant with our first baby and my other half has only ever attended the scans and one session of monitoring when the midwife was a bit unsure about the baby's growth.
At first I panicked a bit as like you I saw that lots of men were in the waiting room with their partners but to be honest I would rather my other half be at work earning some money (he is self employed). I know he would come with me if I needed him to but if it's just a standard antenatal appointment then there is no need for him to be there. I know he is excited about the baby coming so I don't need him to come to every appointment to prove anything.

Oh and also with DD2 I was consultant led due to previous C-sec and he didn't come to any of my consultant appnts!