Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a 1 year old would be ok on a proper bed on her own...

72 replies

MumsyH · 08/01/2017 20:31

DD is 1 this month, shes co-slept since 4 months. Never been an amazing sleeper and never slept through, still wakes several times ranging from needing a boob back to sleep or a rock. The last couple of months she has been going to bed at 7 and then waking by 8 and wide awake ready for a play until normally 11pm. Slightly better the past two nights as just got over a cold shes had for a couple of weeks, however was still up from 12-3.30am last night playing.

Me and DH are going barmy trying to solve her sleep, cant get her to entertain a cot at all. Putting her to bed isnt an issue generally its getting her to stay asleep.
DH has it in his head that she will be better on a floor bed in her room with one of us which we can then slowly leave her on her own and she will sleep better as she will know its her bed and also not want milk etc.. he thinks that if she wakes she would just crawl into our room (opposite, no stairs around)

So AIBU to think that (asuming this works) 1 is far to young to leave on her own in a bed that she can freely crawl out of and get anywhere?!

Or regardles of being U or not, any advice or success stories?!

OP posts:
BawbagBiggins · 08/01/2017 20:34

We put both our boys into a low toddler bed at 12 months. Both slept much better than they ever did in a cot and neither ever got out once they were down.
We needed to stay until they started to nod off, or were asleep completely.
Go for it.

BawbagBiggins · 08/01/2017 20:35

(Not both boys in the same bed - different ages incase anybody read that wrong)

early30smum · 08/01/2017 20:37

TBH I would be a bit concerned about her crawling out and hurting herself/swallowing something/going into the bathroom without waking you up? I might be being a bit paranoid though.

Ilovecaindingle · 08/01/2017 20:37

We put our previously nightmare 9 month old(wanted bf 4/5 times) into his own room and he slept through on the third night! X Cot bed with sides still on-
First night I sent dh in with formula (was bf except a bottle a day at lunch from dh) drank an ounce then slept all night.
Second night dh and water - Refused it but slept all night.
Third night slept 7-7!!

early30smum · 08/01/2017 20:40

Also look at her daytime sleep, she really shouldn't be up for 3.5 hrs at night regardless of she co sleeps or not.

kissingJustForPractice · 08/01/2017 20:42

You could put a stairgate in the doorway of her room if you are worried about her crawling out, or across the doors of rooms you don't want her to be able to get in?

jennifer86 · 08/01/2017 20:42

My main worry would be that she would wake up, create havoc and possibly put herself in danger whilst you were blissfully asleep in another room. You would have to make the room completely toddler proof, no bookcases, cupboards, etc. I think if she woke up then she wouldn't stay in the bed, so I don't think it would solve the sleeping problems, but then again DS is not a great sleeper so maybe we need to try something like this!

Camelsinthegobi · 08/01/2017 20:44

I've done it. Just babyproof tge room, close the door and use a monitor.

RoboticSealpup · 08/01/2017 20:44

We started doing this when DD was around two. The whole room is secured (furniture attached to wall) and we have a baby monitor that we keep an eye on while we eat and watch TV. She is only alone in her room between 8.30 and 11pm, then we go to bed. One of us sleeps next to her and the other sleeps in our bedroom.

But yeah, I think one year is to early. And we're planning to close the gate if when she eventually starts sleeping alone so she doesn't walk around and gets into things while we sleep!

SallyInSweden · 08/01/2017 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bettyspants · 08/01/2017 20:51

Early considering you've been co sleeping. My 5 and 7 yr olds are sometimes both in our bed , youngest is every night. Was the same with eldest (now left home) I worried immensely with her before coming to the conclusion that I was fine with her being in our bed , she gave it up in her own time and I liked the closeness we had as a family. Every family is individual, it can take a while to work out what's right for you and your baby. With hindsight I would have ignored the pressure I had with FB over getting her in her own bed all night. Other areas of our life are very set in stone due to stressful working lives , nights are are easier since we stopped worrying

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 08/01/2017 20:52

We changed the cot-bed into a bed when DS2 had just turned 1- after I went in one morning to find him sat astride the bars of the cot trying to climb out! As that was clearly unsafe we had to do something. We couldn't gate the doorway as DS1 needed bathroom access, so we had a stair gate and. Child-proofed the upstairs. The first night he came in to us 26 times Grin but got taken straight back each time. Within a week he was sleeping through again. He is a little monkey even now Wink

TotalConfucius · 08/01/2017 20:54

Sleep at all costs was our mantra. We bought a cheap double bed once DD got a little too big to cosleep in with us, but wasn't a great all night snorer.
We cut the legs off the bed right down and put a baby gate across her bedroom door.
First sound of her stirring one of us would go and get in with her. Chances are we'd all go back to sleep. If the co sleeping parent then woke up and returned to the 'proper' bed, all well and good. If not, well, sleep was had by all.
I'd have loved her to have one of those super cute toddler beds, but I'd had the experience of the incredible non sleeping ds a few years earlier and spent far too many nights uncomfortably propped on his toddler bed, dozing off and waking with dead arms or legs.
We could've tried all the controlled crying guff, as we had (unsuccessfully) with ds but really it made DH and I cry worse than the boy.

JustMarriedBecca · 08/01/2017 20:55

I was 10 months and was fine. My parents used a sheet and tucked it in tightly.

My DD is now in a proper bed just before two as we needed the cot for DS. She has it against the wall with a bed guard on the other side. Still shouts for us to get her out in the morning.

Thebookswereherfriends · 08/01/2017 20:57

My dd was on a mattress on the floor from 8 months. Until 2yrs we were generally in with her until she was asleep and at various points to settle again. She never got out of bed, even when she woke in the morning, she would cry, then when she had speech just call for us. At 4yrs and now in a proper bed she still rarely gets out of bed on her own. The room has always been a safe place, though, no furniture that could fall on her, no toys that required supervision.

DownWithThisSortaThing · 08/01/2017 20:57

DS went into a big bed at about 18 months I think. He too hated his cot and could climb out of it seemed the safer option.
I think if you make sure the room is safe (furniture screwed to the walls, baby gate on the door, window lock and no small objects etc) she would be OK. Tbh though I never really left him in his room alone unless he was asleep and if I heard him waking up on the baby monitor I'd go check on him and put him back to bed. I remember being a bit nervous at first but he was fine

Tinuviel · 08/01/2017 20:58

DD went from a cot in our room to a toddler bed in her own room at just over 1 with a stairgate on the room (not an option to put it at the top of stairs). She was fine but she was already sleeping through.

What may help is your DH going in to settle her rather than you as she will smell the milk and fancy a feed. We didn't interact with ours during 'sleep time' - just went in and settled them with no chit chat; limited eye contact and left asap.

Catsize · 08/01/2017 21:16

DS was 10mths and in a normal single bed with a bed rail.

He was walking by then though.

DD was a bit older, maybe 14mths, but also in full size bed.

Can't see the point in toddler beds and you can't snuggle in for stories!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 08/01/2017 21:33

The only advantage of toddler beds really is that they are much lower so they can roll out without hurting themselves (or waking up even sometimes) Ours just came as part of the cot we liked so it wasn't a specific choice.

soundsystem · 08/01/2017 21:42

Ours went into a proper bed at around this age. Slept much better for it! As long as you child-proof the room and she can't get out (we just shut the door but you could use a stairgate). We also used a monitor. Still do actually, and she's two now.

Googling Montessori bedrooms for some ideas/infoight be useful

Artandco · 08/01/2017 21:51

Yes a full size single mattress on the floor is fine. I can't see the point of toddler beds either. Just put a single mattress on floor u til older enough to not hurt themselves getting off a higher bed, then add a frame in a few years. Easier to lay next to them.

allowlsthinkalot · 08/01/2017 22:04

She'd be fine, two of my four have never slept in a cot. We didn't baby proof or gate the room either. The only place they went if they woke in the night was our bed and we heard them if they got up. They shared with older sibs too.

Original poster
MumsyH · 08/01/2017 22:07

Very reassured, think we will definately give it ago. Were going to get the kura from ikea so will grow with her and stair gate for bedroom doorway is great idea!

Im not too bothered about getting her out of our bed just getting her to sleep better through the night. Regarding daytime naps, shes pretty much down to 2naps a day and not for more than an hour each usually. Tends to be pretty shitty and ready for bed between 7-8. No idea why she wakes up so much but hopefully this will fix it!

OP posts:
Darthvadersmuuuum · 08/01/2017 22:11

Why are you 'playing' at that time in the morning? Zero eye contact, no lights and resssure it's sleep time, surely? I wouldn't be putting a 1yo in a bed, no.

SleepFreeZone · 08/01/2017 22:12

I cannot imagine it. I would prefer to sleep train to be honest.