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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a 1 year old would be ok on a proper bed on her own...

72 replies

MumsyH · 08/01/2017 20:31

DD is 1 this month, shes co-slept since 4 months. Never been an amazing sleeper and never slept through, still wakes several times ranging from needing a boob back to sleep or a rock. The last couple of months she has been going to bed at 7 and then waking by 8 and wide awake ready for a play until normally 11pm. Slightly better the past two nights as just got over a cold shes had for a couple of weeks, however was still up from 12-3.30am last night playing.

Me and DH are going barmy trying to solve her sleep, cant get her to entertain a cot at all. Putting her to bed isnt an issue generally its getting her to stay asleep.
DH has it in his head that she will be better on a floor bed in her room with one of us which we can then slowly leave her on her own and she will sleep better as she will know its her bed and also not want milk etc.. he thinks that if she wakes she would just crawl into our room (opposite, no stairs around)

So AIBU to think that (asuming this works) 1 is far to young to leave on her own in a bed that she can freely crawl out of and get anywhere?!

Or regardles of being U or not, any advice or success stories?!

OP posts:

cx5221 · 08/01/2017 22:20

Both my dc were in a bed by 12 months old. Dd 1 because she was so tall and by 12 months was practically climbing out.
Dd 2 had a cot with a drop side option which I did try when she was 12 months old. But to be honest it was so low to the floor she would wake up crying as I think it was pretty drafty on the floor.

They both ended up in the ikea toddler beds which were fairly cheap as I knew they would be outgrown within 3-5 years, low enough they could climb in and out easily and not really hurt themselves if they fell, but high enough they weren't in a draft too low to the floor.

The ikea ones also came with built in safety guards so no falling out of bed either.

cx5221 · 08/01/2017 22:32

Oh as others have said definately baby gate on the door and look for things like draw and wardrobe locks so she can't trap fingers/ open doors climb my dd has ASD so once she was out of a cot we always tried to keep to stuffed toys and younger toys in bedroom not toys that could be broken, chewed or come apart.
We have a sort of unwritten rule at the moment that as there is a chance dd can wake up and have free rein of her room without us knowing, we childproof it to a much younger level than she is to reduce as much risk as possible.

It's more 'childproof' than the rest of the house (to a higher level than she needs to be honest rest of house is age appropriate) but that's because I wouldn't leave her unsupervised for more than a few minutes in the rest of the house and if she woke while we were asleep she could be unsupervised for a longer time in her room although it hasn't happened yet she usually just sits in bed shouting us when she wakes

Original poster

MumsyH · 08/01/2017 22:35

All very well except we had been rocking and shushing her for an hour in a dark room for an hour while she was wide awake and chatting and squirming and shes getting quite heavy now.

OP posts:

Allthewaves · 08/01/2017 23:00

Mine went into toddler beds in their own rooms as they were cot climbers at 12 months. Just put a gate on the door and a night light. Any waking just got one of us sitting on the floor in the dark but refusing to talk or eye contact - they got so bored they have up after a wk

DontTouchTheMoustache · 08/01/2017 23:33

Could you maybe look at putting a large playpen around the mattress of you are worried about her crawling around and getting into something she shouldn't?

lalalalyra · 08/01/2017 23:41

Ds2 went onto a mattress on the floor at 12 months because he hurt himself climbing out of his cot. Mattress on floor, baby/toddler proofed room, monitor and door shut (couldn't trust he wouldn't climb a baby gate).

He hardly slept (still goes to sleep around 11pm and wakes at 5.15am at 8) so we kept his room toddler proof and just put one or two safe (one piece) toys in the room when we went to bed and it meant he kept himself amused longer in the morning before demanding attention. That extra 20 minutes or so sleep was a sanity saver.

As long as all your other room doors shut securlely (assuming you are in a bungalow if no stairs?) and your hall is baby proof then it's worth a try. Sounds like she needs to drop a nap though if she's wakening for 3 hours (or she might be like DS and can function on half the amount of sleep).

YoScienceBitch · 08/01/2017 23:45

My DD went into a single bed at 1 and she slept through on the first night and ever since. She has also never gotten out of bed and even now at 2 she will still shout for me to come and tell her in the morning that she's allowed out of bed. Give it a try! You might be surprised!

Tinuviel · 09/01/2017 00:53

Our 'toddler bed' was actually a cot/bed that we got from relatives, so we used it as a cot for DS1 and 2, then had to dismantle it to get it out of their room and into DD's. We were too lazy to reassemble as a cot, then dismantle and set up as a bed 6-12 months later! I wouldn't have bought one specifically, although the IKEA ones you can lengthen, I think. DS1 had the cot mattress beside the bed when he moved into a proper bed from the cot, but he was 2 1/2.

BertrandRussell · 09/01/2017 00:54

Futon mattress on the floor. Baby proofed room.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 09/01/2017 02:53

We also did this. Trundle bed on the floor with a safety barrier on the side, not that it was very high. If DS needed a cuddle or feed in the night I'd go in and lie down with him and go straight back to sleep.

We childproofed the room of course and put a safety gate on his doorway.

DS woke at night but I fed him back to sleep and I think we ultimately got more sleep than with a crib, however he didn't stop waking for feeds at night until we stopped breastfeeding.

Unexpected bonuses are that moving him in younger it's what he remembers so there were no dramas about it. Same with the gate on the door. Other people are getting woken all hours by their toddlers wandering in to their rooms, but the thought hasn't even occurred to DS. The gate is still on and he's 3.5yrs!

Artandco · 09/01/2017 07:31

Also means if they can't sleep, they can get out themselves in the morning and start playing without you getting up (obviously just leave a few basic safe toys in reach in room)

Artandco · 09/01/2017 07:32

I was - a gate on door wouldn't have worked though until 3.5years as most need to have toilet access

sycamore54321 · 09/01/2017 07:45

Have I missed something in your posts? If you want to put her in her own room, why on earth wouldn't you use a cot, or travel cot? I think your idea sounds really bad - leaving doors open creates drafts that can lead to ear ache, Bell's palsy or other issues. And the whole set up sounds needlessly reckless. I would not leave a mobile 12-month old unattended for any length of time if not in a cot or playpen type thing, let alone overnight while i myself slept. As well as the potential risks, I also can't imagine that this scenario is conducive to sleep for the child.

sycamore54321 · 09/01/2017 07:47

Hit post too soon

Entirely appropriate that she has her own room, just not in the configuration you describe.

BertrandRussell · 09/01/2017 07:55

"leaving doors open creates drafts that can lead to ear ache, Bell's palsy or other issues"

Drafts do nut lead to ear ache, Bell's Palsy or anything else. Except possibly chilliness.........

PinkSwimGoggles · 09/01/2017 07:58

at 12m we found dc1 balancing on top of the side of the cot.
we put dc in a toddler bed from then on.
made everything toddler proof, but no problems at all.

and for those who say toddler beds are just stop-gap: both dc were in theirs until age 7!

Artandco · 09/01/2017 09:12

Haha drafts don't cause anything

I don't really understand cots TBH. Most the population in the world don't use them except here in the west. Co sleep from newborn and then mattress or futon on floor. If people have less stuff there's no need for hazards on the floor.

Ours have always shared our room. We had a cot mattress on floor where they could lay on as playmat or nap from newborn if we were in room. But mainly co slept. As they grew they gradually started falling asleep on mattress at bedtime and then joining in our bed later. In mornings they could freely get up and play with basket of safe toys on floor. Our bedroom door closed so no escaping. There were no hazards in our bedroom, it's a bedroom, it has a bed, and clothes in it basically.

A cot most seem to just cry to get out in the morning as caged in. At 12 months mine would have also climbed out in minutes, they could climb all friends babygates so they seemed more dangerous than just not having

EineKleine · 09/01/2017 09:16

Google montessori floor beds. It is a thing, some people do it from birth. But you'd need to properly babyproof her exit to the rest of the house, not just trust her to crawl to your room and bypass the knife drawer, and think about cables, things that she could pull down from a height etc.

Personally I don't think I'd have the energy and with so much to explore, I wouldn't expect it to help. But I've been in that place where you're willing to try anything!

BertrandRussell · 09/01/2017 09:17

Mine never had cots.

Cupoftchaiagain · 09/01/2017 09:27

The kura bed is quite high (even in 'low' position, We didn't put dd in it until she was 3. We did put her in a 'toddler bed' at 18 months (side off the cot, bed rail on) and that really helped her sleep (she was another night owl)

Cupoftchaiagain · 09/01/2017 09:28

If u are definitely set on that bed then I would just use the mattress on the floor for a year or so first as it is a long way to fall out!

Cupoftchaiagain · 09/01/2017 09:30

What I wish we had got instead was a 4 foot bed (like a tiny double bed, wider than normal single) which would still pass for a child bed but give more comfortable co sleeping for the times when that has to happen.

Notso · 09/01/2017 09:38

DD asked to sleep in the single bed that was in her room at 14 months and never slept in her cot again. She fell out a couple of times but stayed asleep on the floor or just climbed back in.
We've never used a bed guard, we just made sure there was nothing near the bed to bang their heads on.

wattson · 09/01/2017 09:44

We had a mattress tucked into an alcove in the room (where a large built in cupboard used to be, if that makes sense), and put a big stair gate across the opening - the sort you can turn into a playpen or have straight to go across a room. It worked well. He has ASD so I padded the walls with fleece as he tended to head bang while going to sleep (quite happily!). It was so cosy, I wanted to sleep in there!

If I were to do it all again, I'd baby proof the whole room, gate across doorway, and have a super low double bed/double mattress on the floor to avoid those ridiculous co-sleeping in a toddler bed moments!

Notso · 09/01/2017 09:50

Cots are great IMO. Co-sleeping is not a safe option for us, it's a last resort and I hate it because I don't sleep. A cot meant the babies could be right next to me but not in danger in our bed. We all got some sleep.
A mattress on the floor is cold and uncomfortable. Also no ventilation underneath.

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