To ask advice as my parents have been waiting for three hours for an ambulance

[haveyourselfamerry]

They are 500 miles away in Bournemouth. Dad is 80 and frail with poor visual processing and probable autism.
A little over three hours ago dad fell in the sitting room. Mum got him into a propped up position. It hurts behind his left hip.
The history is that he fell last February and broke his hip. He was stuck in hospital waiting for a fictitious rehab place for 10 weeks, as a result of which his gait has permanently altered.
They are hoping this is not another break as it feels less bad than last time.
Obviously though they are getting increasingly uncomfortable and distressed.
He will fall asleep soon. Mum is wondering if she can get him lying down. She is too fail to stop him dropping off/sliding over.
Thanks in advance :(
Old age s not for sissies.

May be a stupid question but someone above said private healthcare won't get you an ambulance. What about if the queen or a member of the royal family needed one ? Presumably they would have other arrangements? As I say, probably a stupid question!

I know someone who works in a rehab centre locally (probably the one your DF was told he would go to last time). Not only are they chronically underfunded, like everywhere else, but they struggle to free up the beds because often times care plans have to be implemented at home before the patients can be discharged. Because of service cuts care in the community has gone downhill. So a lot of patients^^ are stuck and it creates a huge backlog.

I hope your DF is doing better today

What we are seeing here is underfunding in relation to population growth

BoffinMum
oracle

I believe when a member if the royal family needs one it's higher Tha a red alert. I think Prince Philip got a chopper a few Christmases ago.

Ta. Thought so!

Hi, I'm in the acute medical ward with dad.
Mum has gone home to rest :)
The X-rays were negative.:)

Thank you all for your help last night,

I now need your help again I'm afraid -how do I get him out of here?
He stood last night at home for the ambulance. Now the nurse is saying though that she has been told he can't stand and is not a "safe discharge"

You don't
Wait until the hospital say it is safe for everyone concerned to discharge him. By then he should at least be able to stand and shuffle about slowly.

Glad he hasn't seriously hurt himself, hope he feels less bruised and battered soon.

This is what happens when the Tories privatise the NHS to the highest bidder. Might be worth giving OOH a call?

I have to!
Dad has, I think, undiagnosed autism, so he is freaking out about the hospital environment.
In Poole last year he was stuck there for months until he was just a shell.

At home he has everything set up:hospital bed, catheter, routine...
He won't walk till he gets home. Apart from anything else, the rails on the bed will prevent him standing as he has a routine for doing this.

He keeps saying 1,2,3...

They will think he is confused.

What he means is
1physio
2doctor
3ambulance

Sorry no advice, OP, but just wanted to say that I am appalled at the length of time your parents had to wait for an ambulance.

Found this article today about where the money went:
www.craigmurray.org.uk/archives/2017/01/true-british-values-nhscrisis/comment-page-1/#comment-647552

Ask the named nurse in charge of his care if he needs a physio assessment before he leaves - or if the hospital social worker will do an assessment. This may be necessary before he goes home and is no bad thing - the SW can provide up to 6 weeks of help and can also point you in the right direction for other agencies (I'm guessing that your parents are resisting this for the time being, this fall may have changed their minds though with the wait for the ambulance!).

Phew, success.

The clearly exhausted nurse said nothing would happen till tomorrow at the earliest.
I asked how he could discharge himself
This brought an OT in and he walked for her so he"ll be home tonight.

12.5 hr shifts with two half hour breaks...that's the nurses do....

Sounds right. That's my shift set up.

I really hope your mum can cope with him . Please please please please make sure she can . Because if he goes home and she can't you won't be able to get any help .

I agree with you that he needs to be home where he feels comfortable but... he also needs to be safe.

Do contact SW and ask for a LifeLine button which he or your mum can press for assistance. My lovely 91 year old neighbour has one as she lives alone (although family nearby) and it's literally been a life saver for her.

Also see if OT can provide anything else which may assist him. Neighbour now has an electric chair which helps her get up easily without losing balance. Not sure if this was provided by SW or family but it's certainly helped her a lot and (fingers crossed) she's been healthy and well since her last hospital stay.

Your mum should be getting assistance. I appreciate your dad probably has ASD but there are things that others could do to help her by cooking, washing, cleaning etc which frees up more of her time. Alternatively you could do her an online shop weekly which means she doesn't need to worry about forgetting anything they need and have it delivered to them.

Age concern may also be a good place to contact. There is lots of help out there but your mum needs to accept the help.

Wow lougle you work hard. How many such shifts a week?

Some of the taxi drivers round here would refuse to take you if you were "too ill"

Re help, mum refuses to spend any money.
I used to be cross about it but have met her halfway as she's right that lots of the "help" wouldn't make their life better.

They do have most of what's free.

He's home now and they are arguing.

My MIL would be exactly the same. She really and truly believes help for the elderly should be provided free. It's really sad. She can't get padt being poor as a girl and entertain the concept that a bit cleaning, etc, would be a God send.

Are going to stay there and see if your mum can cope with your dad ?

Yes, but it's extremely hard to distinguish between their needs, their mh problems and their difficult personalities.

On a practical level, they have their own methods for handling his mobility but the bruising is making that hard.

This sounds so difficult OP.
I have a very ill father. My mother is there round-the-clock and they have help twice a day for washing etc. I have tried to nudge them gently towards somewhere more practical to live as where they are is isolated, awkward to get around and full of hoarded stuff and dead flies.
Mum is stubborn about the whole thing but Dad accepts they have to move. His main reason? If something happened to Mum. I hadn't even thought about that - I wonder if your parents have.
And their kids are all within a 30min radius.