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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask advice as my parents have been waiting for three hours for an ambulance

247 replies

haveyourselfamerry · 07/01/2017 19:35

They are 500 miles away in Bournemouth. Dad is 80 and frail with poor visual processing and probable autism.
A little over three hours ago dad fell in the sitting room. Mum got him into a propped up position. It hurts behind his left hip.
The history is that he fell last February and broke his hip. He was stuck in hospital waiting for a fictitious rehab place for 10 weeks, as a result of which his gait has permanently altered.
They are hoping this is not another break as it feels less bad than last time.
Obviously though they are getting increasingly uncomfortable and distressed.
He will fall asleep soon. Mum is wondering if she can get him lying down. She is too fail to stop him dropping off/sliding over.
Thanks in advance :(
Old age s not for sissies.

OP posts:
Original poster
haveyourselfamerry · 07/01/2017 23:21

The careers 15minutes four times a day thing is awful.
I was upset when my parents dismissed them after the first fall but then came to understand their reasons.

OP posts:
Solasum · 07/01/2017 23:22

I think that people who need medical attention because of substance abuse need to be charged at point of treatment. With an ageing and growing population the strain on the health service was always going to be increasing. It is clearly ridiculous that an elderly man is left to suffer on the floor. Really hope things go ok OP.

I feel strongly that the UK should revisit its culture of binge drinking. I am unaware of anywhere else that has this. It seems to be what the British are known for. There is no excuse for it, especially if it jeopardises the lives of others.

Original poster
haveyourselfamerry · 07/01/2017 23:24

OhtheRoses

I would not agree that the NHSis a failed scheme. I don't know any other scheme that has worked since 1947.

OP posts:
Original poster
haveyourselfamerry · 07/01/2017 23:28

what is rehabilitation medicine?

My parents do now have access to a mobile physio who comes to the house.

OP posts:
lougle · 07/01/2017 23:31

Substance abuse is a real problem and the medical consequences of it are just as life-threatening as any other illness. I get fed up (as an ITU nurse) of people 'othering' people who need medical treatment through substance abuse. As far as I'm concerned, my job is to treat people whose life is threatened by their medical condition. The fact that their medical condition is such as it is through a noxious substance is only relevant in terms of the support they may need.

If we, as a society, looked after people a bit better and didn't cast them aside because they haven't got their lives together, then perhaps less people would need treating as a result of substance abuse in the first place.

Original poster
haveyourselfamerry · 07/01/2017 23:35

Practically, drug users are not usually good payers of bills......

OP posts:
Alonglongway · 07/01/2017 23:55

I thought the 15 minute calls had stopped

New to the whole world of carers. I told my parents story earlier in the thread. They have never had any sort of home care but both very ill over Christmas and need more than my brother and I can manage. we have emergency carers for this weekend and it's 3 visits each 1 hour long. This is a sort of home from hospital package supplied in an emergency.

Parents are self funding and an agency I've recruited start on Monday. We know the agency as they did a few days home care before mum went into hospital. They are reluctant to do any calls of less than 1 hour. They will do half hour if it fits into an overall package but it's not their preference.

Alonglongway · 08/01/2017 00:04

Sorry OP didn't mean to disrupt your thread. Have spent Christmas in and out of A&E with my parents and been posting on various threads

I really feel for you. I ended up moving across London to be near my parents as was hating the 1.5 hour dashes - can't imagine what it's like for you

Suggestion - assuming your dad is admitted, track down the discharge coordinator and talk through the issues. I found a really great one on my dad's ward and she was open to listening to me in a way the social worker was not. That seemed to help with the onward planning. Even better if you can do the same with social worker too so both sides of the system understand the issues

FruitCider · 08/01/2017 00:04

Substance abuse is a real problem and the medical consequences of it are just as life-threatening as any other illness. I get fed up (as an ITU nurse) of people 'othering' people who need medical treatment through substance abuse. As far as I'm concerned, my job is to treat people whose life is threatened by their medical condition. The fact that their medical condition is such as it is through a noxious substance is only relevant in terms of the support they may need.

If we, as a society, looked after people a bit better and didn't cast them aside because they haven't got their lives together, then perhaps less people would need treating as a result of substance abuse in the first place.

YES!!!

Most of my patients have been neglected by everyone they have ever known their entire lives. When I meet them they have truly hit rock bottom, locked away as a result of their addiction. Their health (mental and physical) is in a shocking state. Does the mere fact they are addicts mean they are less entitled to healthcare?!?!? Not in a million years. They need support and love, not demonising!

FruitCider · 08/01/2017 00:05

Practically, drug users are not usually good payers of bills......

Neither are other people with disabilities. You wouldn't deny them healthcare though, would you?

FruitCider · 08/01/2017 00:07

I feel strongly that the UK should revisit its culture of binge drinking. I am unaware of anywhere else that has this. It seems to be what the British are known for. There is no excuse for it, especially if it jeopardises the lives of others.

You've obviously not visited cities in Europe on a Saturday night then? I've seen binge drinking in most cultures... I've even seen it in Saudi. And it wasn't the tourists!

Dishwasherfull2017 · 08/01/2017 00:36

I know a few people that volunteer as first responders who administer first aid and advice and reassurance

They are first aid trained and carry defibs and oxygen

I believe that this type of voluntary service will probably expand into alot more regions

The ambulance will still be sent, but the volunteers go too

I believe the volunteers do not attend children, pregnant women or RTA,s

BTW I am not in any way dismissing the emergency services in any way. But with resources stretched to the max, this type of volunteer service sounds like a good idea

Dishwasherfull2017 · 08/01/2017 00:37

I know a few people that volunteer as first responders who administer first aid and advice and reassurance

They are first aid trained and carry defibs and oxygen

I believe that this type of voluntary service will probably expand into alot more regions

The ambulance will still be sent, but the volunteers go too

I believe the volunteers do not attend children, pregnant women or RTA,s

BTW I am not in any way dismissing the emergency services in any way. But with resources stretched to the max, this type of volunteer service sounds like a good idea

Dishwasherfull2017 · 08/01/2017 00:41

I know a few people that volunteer as first responders who administer first aid and advice and reassurance

They are first aid trained and carry defibs and oxygen

I believe that this type of voluntary service will probably expand into alot more regions

The ambulance will still be sent, but the volunteers go too

I believe the volunteers do not attend children, pregnant women or RTA,s

BTW I am not in any way dismissing the emergency services in any way. But with resources stretched to the max, this type of volunteer service sounds like a good idea

HelenaDove · 08/01/2017 00:43

OMG Some real awful experiences on this thread. I just want to point out though that some non life threatening illnesses can be excrutiatingly painful. I had gallstones back in 2002/2003 and was in and out of A and E with it for nine months while waiting for an operation.

Id been on the slimming world plan and was losing weight very quickly (i lost 10 stone and lost the first 7 stone in 7 months) I had no idea back then that rapid weight loss could cause gallstones until the consultant told me. So i was actually trying to do something about my health.

Im bloody glad i dont have gallstones now.

HelenaDove · 08/01/2017 00:46

merry my aunt was released from hospital just a few weeks after a hip replacement. Shes still bed bound at home Her only son is caring for her and they have the carer package which sounds similar to that mentioned on here.

hollinhurst84 · 08/01/2017 00:47

I'm glad he's in now. You can always ring back on 999, we don't mind. If it's another area just say you need ambulance in X area or if you speak to the local one they will pass the call on anyway
Lying isn't the best plan as it means we have to stay on the phone with you, and it also potentially diverts an ambulance away from someone who say has brittle asthma or is unconscious
The triage system works 99% of the time but there are always some exceptions. A fall generally is a low priority and no sooner an ambulance gets allocated it will be diverted to a higher category and this is why the wait can be so long

BoreOfWhabylon · 08/01/2017 01:00

NHS Action Party

ohtheholidays · 08/01/2017 01:37

Sorry to hear about your poor Dad OP,glad the ambulance has arrived and I hope your parents aren't left waiting to long in the hospital.

lovelearning · 08/01/2017 06:02

If you can afford to pay privately you'll be fine.

In an emergency, everyone relies upon the same services

Private health insurance won't get you an ambulance

londonrach · 08/01/2017 07:03

If you can afford to pay privately you be fine...sorry laughed at that. Private health care dont deal with a&e issues or follow ups as they tend to throw it back onto nhs. I work for nhs and we have to pick up where private healthcare stops. Anyway op hopefully your dad is getting the care he needs x

Goingtobeawesome · 08/01/2017 07:16

I hope your dad is okay, have. And your mum too.

hesterton · 08/01/2017 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumofmadboys · 08/01/2017 07:38

Good post Frutcider

BoffinMum · 08/01/2017 08:12

If you want a private ambulance you will need to give a few days' notice. They are really for transferring patients between hospitals or for leasing over longer periods by institutions or organisations.

If you