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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my bf daughter is to young to have her dyed?

79 replies

queenbeeee · 06/01/2017 23:03

My friend is allowing her 11 yr old daughter to get her hair dip dyed. AIBU to tell her she is way to young?

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 07/01/2017 00:52

OMG Sun-In!

I seem to remember that the instructions said to spray it lightly on wet hair.......Oh yes?! What about doing what we all did which was spray a full bottle on dry hair and then blast it with a hair dryer! It was pure bleach ffs.

My hair was like candy floss for about 6 months before I finally accepted that shiny blonde tresses were not going to happen and got a pixie cut to get rid of it all!

MrsJayy · 07/01/2017 00:56

I started dying my hair with toners and shaders at 11 and box dye by 13 in the 80s its just hair it grows out or can get cut off it really is nothing to get het up about. Yabu

CakesRUs · 07/01/2017 00:58

I had my first perm at 11.... it was pretty bad. Nobody's business but her mum's.

MrsJayy · 07/01/2017 00:59

My pal got a perm then sqooshed sun in in it her hair went green Shock not her best decision good job it was school holidays .

Elfieselfie · 07/01/2017 01:03

I used Sun In and lemons from age 11/12 and quickly progressed to Nice and Easy, shaders and toners and anything else on offer. Also used to cut my own hair and let friends have a go. It was not a good look but it grows back. I actually asked my daughter if she wanted a semi permanent over the school holidays but she wasnt interested.

What is dip dye?

Elfieselfie · 07/01/2017 01:04

Also had a variety of terrible perms!

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/01/2017 01:08

Oh YY to perms! My mum had a helmet of permed hair for about 30 years, which would be "done" for a special event, all poofy and high and sprayed solid with "lakker" as my granny called it (lacquer I assume!)

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/01/2017 01:09

Oh and I had many many bad perms. I was desperate for a corkscrew perm but for some reason I wasnt allowed one as it would look stupid.

More stupid than an old lady perm on a 14 year old?! I somehow doubt it!

Peanutandphoenix · 07/01/2017 02:08

Not your child so its none of your business it's up to the child's mum what she allows her to do not you.

KnittedBlanketHoles · 07/01/2017 02:17

I would allow it in the holidays.

SundaeLieIn · 07/01/2017 02:49

If it's for fun or political reasons then maybe yes. If it's to look more grown up or beautiful then no.

bloodyteenagers · 07/01/2017 03:29

I would laugh if a mate started telling me how to raise my child. If friend continued I would tell friend to fuck off.

Dyes don't have to be chemical laden.

Ericaequites · 07/01/2017 03:58

It's not appropriate to dye children's hair. Children are more likely to have allergic reactions, schools usually forbid it, and encouraging vanity at that age is ridiculous. I wouldn't let 11 year olds wear makeup or nail polish either.

BradleyPooper · 07/01/2017 04:09

I've told my 8 yo dd that she can have the Ned's of her hair dyed pink next summer. It will be cut out before school starts and the dye won't touch her skin so no chances of causing any reactions. Don't see the issue, life's too short for boring hair!

Greenifer · 07/01/2017 17:13

DD aged 10 gets the very ends of her hair dyed every holiday. She grows it in term time then gets a smart short bob the day before term starts. So far we have had green, blue, purple and pillar box red. It does no harm to anyone and is fun for her. She's not an allergic person and the dye never goes anywhere near her skin. I just can't see the problem. Perhaps if my parents had been a tiny bit more relaxed about this kind of thing, I might not have felt the need to go utterly crazy once it was no longer their concern.

harderandharder2breathe · 07/01/2017 17:19

Yabu it's none of your business

You parent your children, let her parent hers.

Fwiw I don't think it's a big deal, it's only hair

Scooby20 · 07/01/2017 18:00

If she is sat there and knows you dont agree, why are you asking if you shoild tell her or not?

pointythings · 07/01/2017 18:07

I wouldn't see it as a problem at all. Not all schools ban dip dye either, as long as the colours are naturally occurring, So Brown/purple = not ok, brown/blonde = OK. Which is as well because when we went to Greece in 2015, DD2 (then 12) ended up with a dip dye made by nature - sun and sea combined to lighten the bottom half of her hair to the point where people were asking where she had got it done. I'd have had an argument with the school if they'd given me grief about it, nature does what she will.

multivac · 07/01/2017 18:13

I'd be fine with it. And happily, our sons' secondary school doesn't care what colour/style the students' hair is, either.

busyrascal · 07/01/2017 18:22

There's a Year 6 at the school where I teach who has had purple hair for the past two years. At first I was a bit Shock but it really suits her and is part of her now iyswim. She's a sensible girl and I admire her parents for letting her do it.

MrsMattBomer · 07/01/2017 18:51

Yep, YABU.

I came into the thread thinking it was your daughter who you were breastfeeding and you wanted to dye her hair for some reason! Grin

dollydaydream114 · 07/01/2017 19:04

Anyone who tells their friends what they should and shouldn't do with their child's hair is being unreasonable and interfering. It's got nothing to do with you; just mind your own business and let them get on with it.

If I had a kid that age I'd probably let them get their hair dip-dyed. To me, it's a fun, quirky thing (rather than something a bit overly grown-up, like massive acrylic nail extensions or certain styles of makeup that makes them look like mini adults). But even I did have a problem with it I wouldn't tell a friend what to do about their kid.

Poetnojo · 07/01/2017 19:22

I first let my now 13dd dip dye the ends of her hair purple when she was 11, it washed out after awhile. Then I let her do it red the next year and the damn thing never washed out, faded a lot but was still visible.
For her 13th birthday we let her get it done purple and pink and then bleached out the ends for going back to school. I don't see the big deal.

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2017 19:25

I wouldn't, dye fucks your hair up although I get it's just the ends, i wouldn't do anything permanent at 11 no.

MrsJayy · 07/01/2017 19:37

Dye really doesn't effect your hair at all I've been dying mine years and years and my hair is in good condition

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