I've just returned from a visit to see my step-daughter (age 36) and her little girl (age 5) in Newcastle. While up there, she mentioned she's recently started seeing a man she met online (she broke up with her daughter's dad 4 years ago, and has been single since). She hasn't told me much about him, but there are few things that have worried me:
He has asked repeatedly about her daughter, despite having never met her- "is she an affectionate girl?" He has also given her a toy to give to her
He doesn't talk about his past at all - she knows almost nothing about him, only his first name
He recently suggested that all three of them could go abroad together: when she brought up separate rooms, he said she could have her own bed and he would share a bed with her daughter to save money
This is a bit worrying, isn't it?!
I'm really unsure what to do: obviously I could tell her what I think, but I really think that wouldn't go well. For one thing, if I've ever given any opinion on her choices (just small stuff), she's got really angry, and cut me off for a period. Also, she has some of the same doubts about this man herself, but she's said she might still see him anyway (I think she's very lonely and hard up, and she says he pays for everything).
All I can think of apart from that is telling social services or the police. The problem is that I only know this man's first name and home town, so they'd have to go through her for more. She's quite suspicious of anyone asking about her personal life and I know from experience she will lie to stop other people being involved. Also, if she found out I'd reported it, she'd cut me out too, so no-one would be keeping an eye on the situation (she's not in contact with any other members of her family)
Are there any other options? Is there any way I can find out this man's details without asking her?
Please help!