Bloody mobile phones in primary schools.

[Aworldofmyown]

I'm sure this has been done to death but you only register something when it affects you!

First week back at school and x,y and z of DS friends got mobiles phones for Christmas - they are in year 3! He knows he can't have one and knows i'm unlikely to change my mind as his elder sister doesn't have on in Y6.

I'm pissed off because other parents keep implying that I am unreasonable by not letting them have phones - apparently I'm just delaying the inevitable. Our school has had real issues with inappropriate mobile phone use (think nasty texts, bullying etc) and whilst I can protect them from that I will.

Although I'm starting to wonder if I am being unreasonable

My dd got a castoff iPhone with no SIM card when she was in year 5. Now in y6 she is definitely in the minority in not having a smartphone but I've said she won't get one until she starts secondary. She is never out by herself so I don't see the point. She uses it for games, music, messages etc.

The real issue we are having is with social media. The majority of her classmates have musically, Instagram, snapchat and some even have Twitter. I am saying no to all of that. TBH I am annoyed by how clueless some of the other parents are and dd tells me stories of her classmates making their profile public and sending private pics to people they have "met" on Instagram. They get Internet safety classes at school but TBH that is no substitute for parenting oversight.

I do judge those parents (whose kids are the ones sending messages at 11pm on a school night, btw...), and I am sure they judge me. So what? My kids, my rules.

My DD is 11 still in Primary, she will get a phone when she starts High School, even she said who would I phone if I had one? But as others have said it is up to you as a parent to decide, personally I would say far too young I'm assuming Year 3 is 8 or 9? however it totally depends on circumstances.

No way until the summer before year 7. There were a lot of issues with bullying in one particular year 5 group at ds' primary because of this.

Unless they're out and about a lot or walking to school alone I really can't see the need.

Dd had one at about seven years old, it was one of my old ones and she used it as an iPod and for daft games and a few messages to my mum. No way would she have been allowed to take it to school though.

DDs had (supervised) access to the Internet from toddlerhood and then iPad at about 9 and she now has a phone that she takes to school with her (y7) but is switched off in her bag all day. A lot of work in y5 and y6 at school was based around iPad usage and now in y7 the students have to create an iPad app, I do think that her having access to this stuff outside of school has helped with her understand of they work in a way using them only at school may not.

There's so many things you can do with technology and it's not always games and Facebook, there's apps that help with revision for SATs and exams, creating music, editing videos to make movies for school projects etc and if used correctly iPads and smartphones can be a good extra for learning.

my sil has said she has just gave my nephew a phone at 10 for Christmas and she wished she phased it over a year or so rather than handing him one with a list of rules. It's all new to him and in his excitement and wanting to okay in it, he forgets some of the conditions.

DDs has the safety stuff drummed into over years so didn't have to take it all in in one go type thing. She uses her Phone for homework (quite a bit has to be submitted online) and reading school textbooks etc.

There's no right or wrong and I totally understand why many parents want to wait before giving their DC phones and tablets etc, was just posting to say that there's nothing wrong in little ones having them provided they are supervised correctly.

I know one of the boys in DDs class was viewing porn on his opine at six years old, I used to be friends with his mum and she was clueless about technology but rather than teach herself the basics of how to set up filters, monitor his usage etc, she blamed the phone company and didn't confiscate or monitor internet usage and let him carry on viewing it. That boy now has some very worrying attitudes and behaviours around girls and I'm convinced him watching abusive porn from such a young age has played a part.

Some DC are totally fine from a young age, and some are not. Parents have to choose what they feel best for their DC.

The real issue we are having is with social media. The majority of her classmates have musically, Instagram, snapchat and some even have Twitter. I am saying no to all of that. TBH I am annoyed by how clueless some of the other parents are and dd tells me stories of her classmates making their profile public and sending private pics to people they have "met" on Instagram. They get Internet safety classes at school but TBH that is no substitute for parenting oversight.

This is what I wanted to say in my last post, you did it better. DDs doesn't have social media and doesn't want it. Loads of her classmates are in it though and the content they share publicly is worrying.
A lot of parents don't check apps before agreeing to them being downloaded, some like music.ly have a 12+ rating which may sound like it's ok for a 12 yr old, but there's the ability to send private messages and a lot of parents don't realise this, so it doesn't get monitored for inappropriate messages.

I don't think the lesson they get at school about safety/boundaries around sex is enough and that its the parents job to make they add to it and before they reach the age of consent and I think the basics they get told at school about safety/boundaries online isn't enough either and maybe that its the parents job to add to that before handing them a device rather than at the same time?

DS 2 (yr3) has one of our old phones but only for Pokemon Go when we go out.

My dd is in year 3. She also asked for a phone for Xmas but I said a definite no to that. However we did get her an iPod touch. She still leaves it downstairs so not in her room on a night/morning or taking it out and about with her and does ask if she can go on it. She thinks it's great and feels grown up. She's not having a phone until Year 6 and not getting Facebook etc until at least the required age possibly older if I can.

Lots of parents don't really make an effort to educate themselves, and that annoys me. "Oh but Instagram is such a good app it encourages their creativity" or the ones (like a good friend of mine) who don't even realise their 11 yo has downlOadrd and signed on to Twitter.

I am happy to have a good discussion on this topic and some parents have really thought this through and have v convincing arguments - but I have little time for parents who just let their kids loose on the internet without any supervision. "Delaying the inevitable" is a crap argument imo - there is an age for everything and a 10 yo in the grip of social media anxiety because they got fewer likes or fewer follows than their friends is way too young.... They develop v fast (both intellectually and emotionally) and what is ok at 12 or 13 is not necessarily ok at 10 or 11.

First day of the summer holidays after year 6 they get my DH's old Nokia... And if it hasn't been lost or broken after the first term of secondary it's upgraded to an iPhone...

What's a child in year 3 going to do with a phone?

Obviously depends on the child but children here get phones at that age because they (usually) walk/bike to and from school by themselves so they have phones so they can call their parents if something goes wrong on the journey, or after school if they want to invite a friend round/go to a friend's house.

Year 3
No chance

Dd2 got an iphone when she was 5. Not really for her to use properly (although she does sometimes play games on it but we have the code), hers is part of medical equipment so slightly different .
Dd1 had to wait till she was 11 and at secondary school, ds1 will have to wait too

When ours were in Year 4 they got a very old Nokia that stayed in their bag until it was needed. It was only to be used if it was an emergency like their granddad not being there to pick them up or something. Only got used once when FIL had a hypo and they phoned an ambulance - clever kids!

Yanbu
You are not holding them back... you are doing them a favour. The longer they stay away from mobile phones and social media the better.
I have a really old Samsung phone and il actually contemplating keeping it for when dd asks for a mobile. It's a quirky wee flip phone with a colour screen and a camera, but not a smart phone. Smart phones can be a curse in our society

WTAF

primary school children should NOT have mobiles

End Of

DS is Y5 and won't be getting a phone just yet. He doesn't go out to the park with his friends yet - we're still very much in the realms of playdates in this area - and he has SN so is a little behind socially. Tbh until he walks to/from school he has no need of one.

My phone is up for renewal at the end of the year, so he may get my old one for Christmas with a no data PAYG SIM. Or else when he goes to secondary I'll get him a cheap smartphone.

He has one friend who has an iPhone and brought it into school to show off. It promptly got confiscated because the school has a really strict no phones and no photos policy (even parents have to hand them in at the office). So I just don't see the point right now.

Meh.
Mine have had one from year 3 for a period of time and now has one again.
I have cancer. I go to hospital a lot. It means I can be running late or organise someone else to collect them and make sure my dc with a disability is ok.
No one has ever commented negatively and I'm looking at getting my ds with a disability a watch phone now as they also alert when he leaves an area.

Year 3?!

DD got one towards the end of year 6 I think, possibly year 7 (I can't quite remember), it was a basic samsung flip flop. That was because I was a single parent and often if I left work late meant I could text Dd to tell her I was running late to collect her from her activity as she had high anxieties.

And she was the first one in her year to get one (we don't start secondary until year 9 here). At least when DD got her first mobile, there were few smartphones around and no snapchat, instagram etc otherwise I may have waited longer.

Absolutely stand your ground, especially with all the social media there is around these days, it's a breeding ground for bullying.

Arguments about 'when I was at school...', or even 'when my children were in Y5....' are very quickly irrelevant these days.

I had my first mobile - not smart - phone - when I was nearly thirty years old. I got my first smartphone when I was nearly forty.

My kids got a smartphone when they turned 11; they were in Y6, but it didn't go to school until they started secondary, where mobile devices are largely encouraged.

That was a year ago. I expect things have moved on.

My y5 got 1 this Christmas but only has family numbers in it, he wanted it for Pokemon go because his iPad was mainly wifi. I personally think it's too young though. For txing friends and social media 100%

Yes multi but only in the sense that mobile phones have not been available in the way they are now for that long.

Are you suggesting that we should just accept the age for them getting lower just because it is possible?

I am wondering if the posters saying "Not before secondary" have DC that ever go anywhere without an adult? Because I can't see a reason for NOT giving a primary school child that plays out/walks to school on their own at least a basic phone?

Exactly golfbuggy if they're going to be playing out it just makes sense for them to have a phone as an extra safety measure and to make it easier to call them in for dinner/bedtime. DD had a GPS watch phone for a while but her idiot dad lost it (or stole it, probably stole it) so I want to get her another one as I like to know where she is when playing out for now.

Mine have them for playing out and I text them to let them know when to come home for meals. They also text me to let me know what neighbours house they're in.

They're handsets are basically glorified walked talkies. No photos or Web access, just phone and text.

DD1 had walkie talkies for that purpose before she had a phone. DD2 still uses the walkie talkies.