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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bloody mobile phones in primary schools.

117 replies

Aworldofmyown · 06/01/2017 13:07

I'm sure this has been done to death but you only register something when it affects you!

First week back at school and x,y and z of DS friends got mobiles phones for Christmas - they are in year 3! He knows he can't have one and knows i'm unlikely to change my mind as his elder sister doesn't have on in Y6.

I'm pissed off because other parents keep implying that I am unreasonable by not letting them have phones - apparently I'm just delaying the inevitable. Our school has had real issues with inappropriate mobile phone use (think nasty texts, bullying etc) and whilst I can protect them from that I will.

Although I'm starting to wonder if I am being unreasonable Hmm

OP posts:
Iggii · 06/01/2017 13:50

My 9 year old has one but his only numbers are his parents and grandparents so I don't think he'll get up to too much. I quite like the idea of him having it younger as he is completely accepting of me having a look at it, parental controls tracking etc, which he might not be as a tweenager.

golfbuggy · 06/01/2017 13:59

I think it's hard to justify a Y3 "needing" to have a phone, however by Year 6 many DC are

  • walking/cycling to school/other places on their own
  • making their own arrangements to meet up with friends
  • playing out for several hours at a time

And whilst a phone is not a "need" (in that we all managed perfectly well before they were invented), they do make things easier.

CryingShame · 06/01/2017 14:10

My DS is Yr 3. To the best of my knowledge, no children in his year have a mobile phone. I doubt their spelling would be good enough to text and I'd have heard endless tales of the teacher taking them off children.

DS may have one for the start of secondary school but as my phone doesn't have the internet on it, and neither does DH's, he won't be getting a high end model even then.

Trifleorbust · 06/01/2017 14:20

My DD won't have a phone until secondary. I don't care what other parents are doing.

Topseyt · 06/01/2017 14:24

Do what suits you and never mind anyone else.

My three each got phones in time to start secondary school. So end of year 6 really, but I didn't let them take them into primary school. That was the yardstick we adopted and were happy with.

megletthesecond · 06/01/2017 14:32

Both my dc's, 10 & 8, have the most basic mobiles. No camera or internet access, purely for days out or case were separated or for playing out. At this point I have a dopey idea that they aren't having smart phones for many years yet, risk of damage and theft, heaven knows what photos and videos go around and too easy for them to bypass parental controls.

I was talking to a friend who has a daughter in Y6 and she had cleaned up and re - boxed her old iPhone for her as an Xmas present so her dd could use it for music. Ok, she'll have to keep an eye on her internet use but it's fair enough if she wants it for music and games.

megletthesecond · 06/01/2017 14:33

Gosh that was long. And boring Blush .

gillybeanz · 06/01/2017 14:45

I was the same with our older two who are grown ups now. They and their friends had phones to start secondary school.
We did this with dd too as she started a new school for secondary where there are children from 8/9 years old.
They all have to have phones as their time table is live streamed.
I wondered how the little ones would manage and indeed if it was a good idea, but they all manage fine.
I think it's down to parents to make sure their children are educated in the use of phones and the social aspect of their peers, irrespective of if they own a phone or not.
I think you are just delaying the inevitable, but if you don't feel they need a phone so young, I can see your point.
Just because others are doing it, you don't have to.

Notso · 06/01/2017 14:48

My year eight DS doesn't have one through choice. He has to rely on old fashioned coming home when he is supposed to.

Pinkponiesrock · 06/01/2017 14:51

My DS got a cast of iPhone 5 for his tenth birthday. They are discouraged in school but he'll take his switched off in his bag if he is going straight to an activity after school.
I think by that age they are all communicating to each other via iMessage, whatsapp, Microsoft live, YouTube etc on their tablets and consoles so a phone isn't any different other than it lets me keep in touch with him when he's playing out or at a club.

Notso · 06/01/2017 14:52

Posted that too soon, I wanted to say he relys on coming home when he is supposed to unlike his sister at the same age who constantly pushed the boundaries because she could phone up and ask to stay out longer, go a bit further etc.

user1470997562 · 06/01/2017 14:53

Y6 is the norm round here - to do a bit of walking on your own to school before secondary school.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 06/01/2017 14:55

DD is 9 and she knows she will not get one until she starts Secondary in two years.

thisgirlrides · 06/01/2017 15:01

My Ds is in year 3 and if you ask him will tell you he's got a mobile phone. Which strictly speaking is true however it's a 3rd hand, cracked screen iPhone with no means to do anything except play a few games that we've downloaded and access our Sonos system. No internet, no calls, texts or emails and he can't download any new apps. I'd imagine any kids with phones at this age have something similar - not even many in ds1's year 6 class have actual contracts on their phone although this is beginning to change as we go through the year.

Nataleejah · 06/01/2017 17:00

Yeah, what kids say they have, always take with a pinch of salt

Giddyaunt18 · 06/01/2017 17:20

YANBU. Mine got one in summer holiday before secondary. They told me they were the 'last children in class' to get one but I found out from parents after that they weren't. Stick to your guns!

Original poster
Aworldofmyown · 06/01/2017 17:34

pink really? Using social media as the norm by the age of ten?

Thats actually my main issue with phones. I completely get the 'my child has a basic phone just for emergencies' say walking to school, playing out etc its the smartphones with internet access that I find un-neccesary.

I have seen these phones and the parents have discussed them with me so I know they are real!!

OP posts:
QueenofTinyThings · 06/01/2017 17:37

Hold out as long as you can! Mine were end of yr 6 so had the phone for the summer holidays in readiness for high school. Unless they are out and about on their own a lot, or parents separated they have no need for it. Children always say they are the ONLY child in the class without x but ask around, I bet half the kids in yr 3 dont have phones yet.

Iggi999 · 06/01/2017 17:42

My son's smartphone cost £15. If I can get a new phone for that price, why would I go out of my way to get a non-smart one? so far he messages me using wifi telling me he loves me, I'll live with that Smile

specialsubject · 06/01/2017 17:55

call and text jobs are under a tenner. Need charging weekly or less, stand being dropped, won't be a cause of a mugging and do not allow downloading of porn.

easy. Why be a slave to a power-guzzling brick ? no child needs mobile internet access.

Borntoflyinfirst · 06/01/2017 18:06

My eldest 2 have had them for their 10th birthdays. Both because they are allowed slightly more freedom then i.e. Walking themselves to car from school etc. Dd is now at secondary and would be lost without hers (as would I be lost if she didn't have it). Ds barely uses his yet (he's still 10).

One thing my dd said about the online bullying thing - she said that kids were still bullied online sometimes even if they didn't have phones etc - they just didn't know about it. It's been hard to manage sometimes but by allowing access Young we have said that we WILL have access to all her online accounts - something which would be harder to do when older. They've had a really good online education at school re privacy etc which helps

pinkunicornsarefluffy · 06/01/2017 18:21

YANBU. I used to think that a kid shouldn't have a mobile until around 14, but times have changed and most of them have them at around age 11 now. (round here anyway) in readiness for secondary school.

My DD is almost 9 and has a basic £20 mobile so that her father can ring her he doesn't. It never leaves the house and is purely there so that he can ring her without having to go through me. I don't regard her as having a mobile phone, it is merely another form of communication made available to XH

cherrycrumblecustard · 06/01/2017 18:35

Mine had my old one when he was seven or so, I think. Didn't take it to school though.

Iggi999 · 06/01/2017 20:15

You don't need mobile data to use the Internet on a smartphone. Watching ds use (free!) apps to speak to his grandparents in another country is lovely. Yes he could do this by borrowing my device but it has work emails on it and we are supposed to restrict access. And I need it to mumsnet, obv.

cornflowerblu · 06/01/2017 20:21

My year 6 doesn't have one and I have certainly never heard of a year 3 with a phone. Apparently she's not only the only child in the class without a phone but the only one in the class without an iPhone 7. She'll get one when she's 11, it will be my old iPhone 5s with a capped sim only contract, same as her older sibling