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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bloody mobile phones in primary schools.

117 replies

Aworldofmyown · 06/01/2017 13:07

I'm sure this has been done to death but you only register something when it affects you!

First week back at school and x,y and z of DS friends got mobiles phones for Christmas - they are in year 3! He knows he can't have one and knows i'm unlikely to change my mind as his elder sister doesn't have on in Y6.

I'm pissed off because other parents keep implying that I am unreasonable by not letting them have phones - apparently I'm just delaying the inevitable. Our school has had real issues with inappropriate mobile phone use (think nasty texts, bullying etc) and whilst I can protect them from that I will.

Although I'm starting to wonder if I am being unreasonable Hmm

OP posts:
LittleReindeerwithcloggson · 06/01/2017 20:25

My year 3 has an iPod touch with Internet seriously restricted, apps and music on I have selected and the ability to I message and face time certain people. She tells everyone it's a phone though

HSMMaCM · 06/01/2017 20:39

I just told DD she'd get a phone when she needed one. For me this meant when she was getting the bus to secondary school, but my sister bought her a basic one for Christmas when she was in year 6. She didn't really start using it until secondary school though.

Pinkponiesrock · 06/01/2017 21:19

They don't use social media such as Facebook but they do have more closed ones, whatsapp, iMessage, Snapchat. They are all closely monitored so I know who they are messaging and who they have as contacts. They arrange meeting up, swimming, endless videos of lego creations, bike stunts etc. All there accounts at the moment are as private as possible and they can only get on Xbox if I log it on for them.

zukiecat · 06/01/2017 21:45

DD1 got one when she started S1 when she was 12

It was also around the same time I split with XH and he would take the kids for two weeks in the summer holidays, the first time the DC went he didn't allow any contact with me at all, not even to say goodnight a couple of times

So I bought DD1 the phone so she could at least text me a few times

NotEnoughTime · 07/01/2017 12:58

I will get a mobile phone for my DS in between finishing primary school and starting secondary school.

I think that is soon enough to be honest.

Foxedme · 07/01/2017 18:10

I have a Year 3 daughter and a grown up daughter... my thoughts are...

  1. They always say their friends have one.
  2. The friends always say they have stuff.
  3. You're the parent, you can say no, in fact it's good to not say yes to everything.
  4. Sorry it's becoming a list!!!!
  5. It's horrible what is happening to our teenagers via the internet in terms of grooming and the internet being brought into our homes, this is a little girl. Keep her safe from that. She's not ready to protect herself at that age.
  6. Bullying.

I think you're in the right. x

icepop9000 · 07/01/2017 18:19

My daughter is Year 4. No one in her year has one. My son got one end of year 6 to be prepared for secondary school.
Maybe I m strict but surprised at how many kids are allowed to the park and play out on their own!

Thissideof40 · 07/01/2017 18:26

My son is in year 3 and he won't be getting a proper mobile phone any time soon. He has one of my old Samsungs that doesn't have a SIM card and he uses it to play games. I only bought my daughter a phone in the summer before she started secondary school.

JigglyTuff · 07/01/2017 18:32

I gave DS my old one in year 4. It never leaves the house and until we went on holiday, it never had a SIM in it but I got him a PAYG one in case he got lost but we forgot to take it out with us!

I'm sure he tells everyone he's got a phone. The reality is a bit different.

WeAllHaveWings · 07/01/2017 18:36

ds(12) has a mobile. He got his first basic non-smart phone at age 9 (I think) so I could contact him when out with his friends. Some of his friends got them at age 6-7 some didn't get them until age 11.

YANBU to not get your dc a phone. YANBU to be pissed of at other parents saying you should get him one.

YWBU if you were to judge when other parents decide their dc are ready for a phone just because it makes it harder for you to say no. They may be giving them one too early or too late but its there decision for their child.

Marylou2 · 07/01/2017 18:40

Year 5 at our school but some parents leave it until year 6. The only kids I know who have them any younger are those whose parents aren't together and the child is with Dad at the weekend or a week night. Can understand this though.

Natsku · 07/01/2017 18:43

Where I live the vast majority of children (something like 95%) have a mobile phone by 7 years old (when they start school), its definitely inevitable here and I don't want my DD to be the one child that doesn't so she'll have one but there's a good chance it'll be an old style Nokia (she actually has one of those already but she doesn't really know how to use it so its switched off most of the time - she's 5).

YerDaSellsAvon · 07/01/2017 18:44

My dds are 10 and 7. They both have smartphones (got two exact models of a brand I'd never heard of for the price of 1). The eldest has a sim and speaks to my sis in oz, and various relatives around uk. I monitor everything. The passcode is one I set on both phones. The youngest uses it as a mini tablet. No SIM card. TBH She rarely uses it as I let her use my ancient iPad for most things. She wanted one because her sister did. I didn't mind because I got a good deal.

Fairenuff · 07/01/2017 18:46

Delaying the inevitable is not such a bad thing. I mean, death is inevitable but most of us are not in a rush to get there are we.

MsJudgemental · 07/01/2017 18:47

Round here, definitely year 6, sometimes year 5. Cheap no frills or old hand-me-down iPhone on pay-and-go. They need a laptop/computer for the start of Year 7 to do their homework. I find that the earlier they have their own technology, the more sensible and savvy they are. They all sign up for Facebook and pretend that they are 13 when they are 11 anyway.

Jellybean83 · 07/01/2017 18:48

How old is a year 3 child? (Scottish)

MsJudgemental · 07/01/2017 18:50

DS, 16, always gets my hand-me down iPhone and then DH gets his! I put both on my contract for an extra 12 quid a month each.

MsJudgemental · 07/01/2017 18:50

Y3 is is your P4, I think. 7-8 years.

Talith · 07/01/2017 18:53

Mine (9 and 7) won't have them til secondary/high school and yes I get all the nagging. I think a few kids have them in their year. They have a shitload of latitude with computer games and you tube but no mobiles. Just nope.

HermioneWoozle · 07/01/2017 18:56

My Y3 child has a phone but with no sim- used to be DD1's. She just plays the games though and doesn't use it as a phone.

HermioneWoozle · 07/01/2017 18:58

DD1 got one in Y6 as I wanted her to get used to having one before secondary school.

Craftyoldhen · 07/01/2017 19:04

My 9 year old has my old one, it's sim free so used as a tablet really.

MrsBobDylan · 07/01/2017 19:04

My ds got one when he turned nine because he has type 1 diabetes - he has been able to go to parties without me hanging round as he sends me a what's app pic of any food he's about to eat and I can tell him the carbs so he can give himself insulin. It's been so liberating for him I wish I'd done it a year ago.

If he didn't have diabetes I'd have made him wait till year 7 though.

wonderstuff · 07/01/2017 19:17

Mine aren't having one until they're 11. What's a child in year 3 going to do with a phone?

Oblomov16 · 07/01/2017 19:23

Ds2 wants a phone. A few of his friends in Year 3 have one. I refuse. I've told him that ds1 had one in Year 6 and that is when he'll get one.
I am secretly cross with my fellow parents who have bought their Year 3's a phone. Secretly.

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