Who is BU? WRT sleeping naked.

[BeBe2017]

One of us doesn't want the other one to sleep naked. Who gets final say?

Depends what the reasoning is I suppose? I can't see why H would possibly object to me being naked though.

Whoever's body it is. They decide if is clothed or not.

Surely the individual gets to say how they sleep?

The individual. But if their partner doesn't like it they're not obliged to share.

What is the reasoning behind the non nudey's thinking?

Everyone gets to decide about their own body, so the person who wants to sleep naked gets to sleep naked, but the person who doesn't like sleeping with a naked person gets to refuse to share a bed with them.

The naked person. Cos there's no earthly reason not to.

Even if it's a kids coming into the bed situation - the covers....cover!

Ok, it's me who doesn't want him sleeping naked. I have suggested that if he wants to, we have separate beds (obviously still the same room) but he says no, as we are supposed to be in a relationship. He works until 1 am, doesn't have a shower when he gets in (waits until the morning) and I hate that!

The one who wants to dictate what the other wears in bed is BU

I sleep in PJs. DH sleeps naked. Neither of us would dream of telling the other what to sleep in!

The individual- it's their body / choice. Imagine being forced to wear uncomfortable, restricting clothing you don't like. Any particular reason why the objection?

It's quite clear -

1. Individuals decide if they will be naked or not

1. Individuals decide if they will share a bed with a naked person or not.

What work does he do? If it's something that makes him sweaty or dirty he should have a shower before bed.

I can understand not wanting him to get into bed sweaty/smelly but I'm not clear on why PJs or lack of them would make a difference to that.

Sorry, x-post. He'll still stink if he puts pjs on though if he doesn't shower - and they won't stop transfer of sweat or smell onto the bed.

So if he had a shower, you would be OK with him sleeping naked?

His choice - although open windows and make bedroom freezing to encourage nightclothes.

Yabu

His body, his choice

If it bothers you that much, go sleep on the sofa

Yeah, if he had a shower, I wouldn't care. I think wearing clothes does help, less dirt/sweat onto me/the bed.

No, I won't go on the sofa! I'll just buy an extra bed, but he will be bloody miserable about it.

Ok so the rule isn't clothes/no clothes. It's shower/no shower.

I'm totally with you on that. My DH has a sporting hobby, he would never get into bed without having a shower first afterwards.

Why doesn't he have a shower - it would take two minutes.

Have you got a spare room - just relocate; do you have to share a bed? Are you married, do you have children?

I'm the nudey sleeper out of us two and I'd always shower if I had done anything that would make me sweaty. So a day at the office wouldn't count (unless a very hot day) but out running definitely would.

hhhmmmmm, interesting. my DP doesn't have a shower before bed and although not smelly, can be v grubby. have given up as he is so tired when he drops into bed that would rather him next to me and having had a good night's sleep. .. than knackered and clean!

It bothers you that much that you want to sleep in a separate bed? I think you need to get over it. It's not that big a deal surely. Why do you get to set the bed rules anyway?

Tbh, no shower and pyjamas is still disgusting.

Imo the rules should be:
Shower or separate beds.