Who is BU? WRT sleeping naked.

[BeBe2017]

One of us doesn't want the other one to sleep naked. Who gets final say?

My ex used to refuse to shower before bed despite having cycled 20 miles home from work and stinking of sweat. He also insisted that we slept naked so he could have his stinky hands all over me!!

Weirdly he never insisted on being naked in his office at work despite him having had a long hot shower when he got there to make sure he didn't smell after he'd cycled 20 miles in to work!!

(He's my ex for many reasons, this being the least of them!!)

No one gets in my bed now without being clean. After that they can wear, or not wear, what they like

There has to be more to this than naked / not naked (showered / not showered). Has to be.

BTW who changes the beds?

Ok so the rule isn't clothes/no clothes. It's shower/no shower.

Agree with this. Shower or he isn't allowed into bed.

So all the people saying OP's partner should have a shower before getting into bed - do you and your partners always have a shower after work? Or does the rule only apply if someone wants to sleep naked? This level of washing seems a bit ott to me.

Ah, hang on, somehow I imagined that he did a job or hobby that left him sweaty but now I think I was looking at another post.

In the normal run of things, I don't think one needs a shower before getting into bed naked. Only if work/gym/other sweaty hobby necessitate it.

We need to know what kind of job he has, in order to judge who's being unreasonable.

YANBU. Unless he's prepared to change the sheets as often as he would his underwear/PJs. Otherwise it's not very hygienic.

I sleep naked. Being told what to wear to bed would make me more determined to sleep naked.

Tbh, no shower and pyjamas is still disgusting.

Really? Does everybody shower before going to bed? I would if I've been getting sweaty exercising or in hot weather, but otherwise I shower in the morning.

Getting into bed while dirty and smelly is extremely inconsiderate. I wouldn't want to share a bed with a smelly person.

Whether naked or not.

He's a porter in a hospital.

He's hardly going to be dirty and smelling then. Yabu.

He sweats... Sweat causes him to smell.

I change the sheets.

He can't have it all his own way!

Separate beds then he can lie in his own stink.

A naked sweaty person is far worse than a clothed sweaty person. I do not need a breeze going directly past their sweaty arse crack or genitals and that warm, stinky breeze hitting me in the face.

He's hardly going to be dirty and smelling then. Yabu.
My DP's job is physical in about the same way as a porter's job is. He gets smelly (but then he also cycles to and from work).

Is he really overweight or something?

Because a porter in a hospital is not the most active job is it.

I think you've got your own issues really.

You don't think being a porter is active? on his feet for 12 hours? Strange.

FFS. Porter! Yes, it's hard physical work but I thought we were talking coal man or some such actively grimey work. Kitchen work even.

Porter?!

I think you maybe just don't like him much.

sorry but as this has progressed, I think there is more to it. OP, if you don't like the way he smells then not sure you are right together! Smell is a vital part of pheromone attraction. Are things OK otherwise?

X post. Portering is vv physical. Lad I was talking to said 15 miles walking a shift was more or less average. That's without any of the rest.

Still. It's clean work in a clean environment.

I think you should both be able to sleep however the hell you want!

If DH tried telling me what I could or couldn't sleep in he'd get a look and told where to go. It's my fucking bed too

Oh okay, I don't love him because I don't like his BO smell of course I love him, we have 2 children and another on the way.

Right, well, if he smells bad then he should shower out of courtesy. I don't know any porters though, so can't say from experience!

Oh for godfness sake slumma what nonsense! I adore my DH but prefer him to shower if he's sweaty before getting into bed.

Some people swear more than others, I think we have to take the OPs word for it that her particular DH smells a but stake when he comes home from work.

A two minute shower would make all the difference to her - it's not a lot to ask really.