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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have been shamed at the gym

311 replies

Bonbon12 · 04/01/2017 20:42

I am a plus size lady who has made it her New Years resolution to lose weight. I joined a gym in December and mainly use the pool. I suffer from knee pain so I have to use the pool for my exercise I can't do running or bike.

So I do little bit of swim-hops/walking which helps my knee and also helps me lose weight. When I arrived I went into the fast lane as it was completely empty and was the smallest lane. It suddenly got really busy and that made other lanes quite busy.

Then two men moved into my lane. They started a fast swim. I asked them could they wait another 15 mins for me to finish and that I have a knee problem so this is helps me.

They replied that "that's not our problem and that the pool was for those who do real exercise". I replied it is real exercise and then I heard one of the men mutter "it's not the lard lane" and I left straight away.

Aibu to think that these men are complete cunts.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 04/01/2017 21:58

They were nasty, but why did you not let them by! They should not have to wait 15 mins for you. It's a long time. Next time stick to the slower lane or tge General pool.

QueenLizIII · 04/01/2017 21:58

WTF is swim hopping?

Designjunkie · 04/01/2017 21:59

I'm going to go against the grain here and say I'm not surprised one of the men replied to your ridiculous request by insulting you. I might not have mentioned your weight, which was ott but face it OP, you'd annoyed them and they wanted to annoy you back. I would have called you an entitled twat for sure though. 15 minute wait ? Who do you think you are ? The fact that you have come away from the incident feeling sorry yourself is just pathetic. You are very rude and selfish OP and and I'm glad you've been brought down off your high horse.

ivykaty44 · 04/01/2017 22:00

MrsT

There are many people on bikes with the seat ridiculously low. I sometimes wonder how they actually manage to cycle.

Even in the gym and spin room people get on bikes and don't adjust the seat to the correct position, it looks awkward and must do there body a disservice

PaulAnkaTheDog · 04/01/2017 22:02

You reacted like an entitled so-and-so, they reacted to that like frustrated twats. Six of one, half a dozen of the other to me tbh. Could have all been avoided if you just paid attention to the universal simple pool instructions about lanes.

sparechange · 04/01/2017 22:02

I am the only person who get itchy teeth when people talk about being 'shamed' when they mean 'mildly picked on'
Body shamed, slut shamed, benefits shamed. It's cringey and attention seeking from people who want to make a mountain out of a molehill

This bullshit only started recently. Why? It doesn't even make sense
Who came up with this? my money is on americans and/or bloggers

Bluntness100 · 04/01/2017 22:02

I'm curious what swim hopping is too, is it swimming with one leg on the bottom of the pool? 🙈

PrettyBotanicals · 04/01/2017 22:05

sparechangeFlowers

lljkk · 04/01/2017 22:06

@MrsTerryPratchett:
I get patellar (sp?) tendonintis. It's an over use injury specific to cycling not running. I can't cycle very much. Running is fine, but cycling has to be limited. I've had so many experts look at my bike(s) & my body proportions. Problem is my knees & high propensity to get tendonitis anywhere.

(cycling)Friend has been on at me about keep the knee warm etc. Which worked for his knees. Warmth helps, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do 1000 miles in 3 weeks again (cycling). Don't want to do ultra-marathons either :).

CherrySkull · 04/01/2017 22:09

i'm plus size, have a bad back and swim twice a week because i also have asthma and its one of the safest exercises.

I'm also quite an accomplished swimmer, i can do a length at speed, however even i don't use the fast lane and nor would i ask anyone else to wait if they wanted to use it.

They were shockingly rude, but you were wrong to ask them to wait.

If you're walking/hopping, you can do that in any lane! Don't let the incident put you off, but please be more aware of pool etiquette!

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/01/2017 22:10

Ah-ha! lljkk that might be it. I did get tendonintis possibly ages ago when I was running. My running buddy is sure of it. With stretching and not being too over confident, I can run fine now. Maybe that is it.

If I get bored of running I might actually get a bike-type and/or medical type to have a look and see. For now the running is good enough.

Beeziekn33ze · 04/01/2017 22:14

Sign up for hydrotherapy then you get pool, physiotherapist and advice but you'll have to pay for it!

YelloDraw · 04/01/2017 22:14

To be fair "it's not the lard lane" is a little bit funny.... more funny that "fuck off you fat selfish cunt" which I could imagine being the outcome of someone telling a fast lane swimmer to wait for 15 mins because they wanted the whole fast lane to slowly hop along.

Backt0Black · 04/01/2017 22:14

Youve made a resolution and now your more entitled to everything that everyone else normally uses?

What would you have liked them to do while they waited 15 minutes for you to finish being entitled?

January is a peak time of year, everyone just has to get along as use the facilities as intended and promptly. You dont get special treatment for having made a resolution or having a bad leg.

Their retort was rude, and unnecessary as you gave them more than enough to go on without having to resort to personal insults.

Lunde · 04/01/2017 22:15

I think that everyone concerned was being rude - the men were very rude to use such language but OP was also rude and selfish for hogging the fast lane for personal use and telling other users that they had to wait.

I have major knee issues and I cannot use the bike at all - I had 2 physios get me up on one but pedalling was too painful and my knee at risk of dislocating so the pool is the only thing I can do. I do deep water running (in the slow lane)

edwinbear · 04/01/2017 22:15

OP YWBVU but I imagine your clear on that now. They were very rude, but a lack of pool etiquette will lead to incidents of 'lane rage'. There are a few things you would benefit from understanding if you intend becoming a regular swimmer - and I hope you do keep it up, it's a wonderful form of exercise.

Check the pace of the lanes before you get in, one day the medium lane may be full of slow swimmers and the fast lane maybe more appropriate, the next morning the medium lane may be full of triathletes and you are better suited to the slow lane.

Never, ever do anything other than fast crawl in the fast lane. They are usually the narrowest lane because it's expected people will be doing crawl, don't ever attempt breaststroke/backstroke/general fannying about - unless you are Olympic pace and the only person doing overtaking will be you.

Be prepared to switch lanes if the pace of the lane changes during your swim, I'm usually a fast lane swimmer but if faster swimmers get in during my session I will duck into the medium lane so as not to hold people up.

Be aware of people trying to overtake, move to the side at the end of a length and let them pass, or if they are much faster and want to pass mid lane, slow down, move right over and let them pass.

Don't ever push off and start a length in front of a faster swimmer, it's hard work overtaking people in a busy lane and they will be cursing you in their head.

If you are having a rest, move right to the edge of the lane so people can still turn and push off without kicking you in the crotch. Embarrassment for both parties.

If you want to do exercises, pick the slowest lane possible and avoid getting in the way of lane swimmers. Or ideally go out of lane swimming sessions, our pool has some women only sessions which are generally more tolerant/slower/less intimidating. Yours may have similar which you may enjoy whilst you get into the swing of things. Good luck!

bruffin · 04/01/2017 22:15

its walking in the water bluntness there are a lot of old ladies do it in our over 50s swim, but shouldnt do it in lanes at any time.
If op needed to do it at lane swim, then she should have done it in the slowest lane then the faster swimmers could move up to the faster lanes.
OP was being ridiculous expecting others to wait for her to finish in the fast lane.

elvis86 · 04/01/2017 22:16

To be fair "it's not the lard lane" is a little bit funny.... more funny that "fuck off you fat selfish cunt" which I could imagine being the outcome of someone telling a fast lane swimmer to wait for 15 mins because they wanted the whole fast lane to slowly hop along.

GrinGrinGrin

PunkrockerGirl · 04/01/2017 22:17

What Pretty said.
OP you are having a laugh aren't you? Ok the guys were rude, but did you seriously think that asking a lane of serious swimmers to hold back for 15 minutes while you fanny about in their fast lane was going to go down well? Confused
I'm quite a serious swimmer, if I came across you hopping about in the fast lane, my language would be extremely choice too. Get on the exercise bike, you can't annoy other people on there Grin

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 04/01/2017 22:19

OP,
Aibu to think that these men are complete cunts.

Not quite.. A cunt is useful... Those two are a pair of haemorrhoids... Painful in your arse and no use whatsoever...

So what you are overweight.. because you are doing something about it... ergo you are not a slob. You are worthwhile. You are someone to be proud of. The people who don't even get down to the gym are the less than worthwhile ones...

God luck and stick with the effort... especially when it gets hard work

Upanddownroundandround · 04/01/2017 22:24

They were rude and YWBU.

Tywinlannister · 04/01/2017 22:24

They didn't have to be so rude to you, if there were only the 3 of you in the lane they could have overtaken you until you got the message clearly that fast means fast and slow means slow.

15 mins is very slow even for a slow lane swimmer (no judgement) just that I doubt even in the slow lane you would get someone to wait for 15 mins.

RupertsMum2 · 04/01/2017 22:25

One of my favourite pass times is sitting in the jacuzzi after my swim and watching the altercations in the fast lane and, indeed, often in the rest of the pool. It's a disappointing, and rare day, that everyone's happy.

PopGoesTheWeaz · 04/01/2017 22:25

The people who don't even get down to the gym are the less than worthwhile ones...

erm, bit harsh

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 04/01/2017 22:27

Edwinbear's advice about pool etiquette is good.

I'm a decent swimmer- something awkwardly between medium and fast depending on who else is in the pool. Fast compared to older women doing breaststroke. Slug like compared to rampaging men doing front crawl. I have to constantly check lanes and swap depending on who else is in the pool at the time.

I'm lucky if I get a session where I can perform my ideal routine of alternating front crawl and backstroke as the pace of them differs too much for others consistently doing a single stroke. I tend to end up flogging myself on front crawl then tucking into a corner of the lane to catch my breath so that I'm not hindering others in the lane.

Laned swimming sessions are about being aware of what's going on around you and having to compromise.

Their response was below the belt, but it was a very inconsiderate request that initiated it.