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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nurses shouldn't have spoken in a different language in front of me?

485 replies

ColouringTheBrain · 04/01/2017 18:56

If I start by saying I think our NHS staff do a great job Smile I'm not looking to be flamed, I genuinely want to know if I'm BU.

I had to go to the hospital today, the nurse that initially dealt with me was kind and gentle, also in the room was a colleague of hers ( another nurse). The nurse took my bloods, then went to get another machine, it was then that the two nurses started talking to each other in a different language ( I'm not trying to be vague, I just haven't got a clue what language it was). It made me feel really uncomfortable as it was directly in front of me, whether they were talking about me, or what's on TV, or other members of staff I feel is irrelevant, I felt like they shouldn't be doing it in front of a patient. Obviously I didn't say anything, I wasn't feeling the best anyway, but I also felt slightly intimidated I suppose.

AIBU, or should I just accept it as part of the care?

OP posts:
wictional · 05/01/2017 08:09

*I can't see why it matters, as they spoke to you in English, treated you professionally and with respect and care, and weren't doing anything to suggest that they were being in any way nasty.

Having lived and travelled in lots of countries I am always dismayed that the British seem unable to cope with people speaking other languages within ear shot. It isn't that way in most of the world.*

This. I realise that you might feel a bit paranoid given that it was within a hospital, but really, people have a right to speak whatever language they want between themselves. The nurse could have been asking the other if she could borrow a tampon in five minutes, fgs.

RebelRogue · 05/01/2017 08:13

Meet and zoe I did not need to use Google to understand most of that ,but for the life of me i couldn't reply back. So nope it doesn't bother me if you keep at it..i just won't join in Grin

zoemaguire · 05/01/2017 08:17

So rebel you're fine if the whole of MN switches to French?

BraveDancing · 05/01/2017 08:20

*I can't see why it matters, as they spoke to you in English, treated you professionally and with respect and care, and weren't doing anything to suggest that they were being in any way nasty.

Having lived and travelled in lots of countries I am always dismayed that the British seem unable to cope with people speaking other languages within ear shot. It isn't that way in most of the world.*

Absolutely agree. It's a very British issue and I think it comes from our being spoiled enough that we assume everyone around us just should use our language.

It is really a bit shameful.

Charlieiscool · 05/01/2017 08:20

English proficiency in healthcare workers is a requirement for safe care. If they can't communicate then they can't do the job.

Lostwithinthehills · 05/01/2017 08:40

"we assume everyone around us just should use our language."

I think expecting nursing staff to use English in front of an English speaking patient, in a British hospital, in Britain is fair enough.

vj32 · 05/01/2017 08:50

I had doctors whispering in a corner, obviously about me, while I was in labour, while it all went wrong. It added to my obvious fear.

But, I wouldn't have assumed they were talking about me unless it was obvious. Foreign languages don't bother me although I do try and work out what it is and then feel slightly disappointed I have no idea what they are talking about.

If your only complaint from a hospital stay was that the nurses used a foreign language in front of you, I think you were very lucky in the standard of care you received.

scottishdiem · 05/01/2017 08:50

And Britain First takes over a mumsnet thread. The xenophobia on this thread is alarming but does explain Brexit I suppose.

MissionImpossible3 · 05/01/2017 08:53

As an HCP for many years, we are taught not to have any conversations between ourselves in front of patients. It makes no difference what the language they were speaking is, it is still unacceptable in this context and shouldn't have happened

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 05/01/2017 08:54

Many of the posters who agreed with OP said they weren't British born and also speak several languages.
Hardly the natural habitat of xenophobia and Britain first.

NavyandWhite · 05/01/2017 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eliza22 · 05/01/2017 08:59

If the nurses were discussing the patient as if she weren't there, that is unprofessional. It they were having a chin-wag, that is rude and unprofessional. It matters not what language they were speaking.

And I agree (and I'm NOT a Britain First supporter) that a patient, in a British hospital should be reassured that British will be the language spoken. If I were a patient in say, a French hospital and insisted they spoke English all the time, not just addressing me, then that would be unreasonable.

They were just rude.

brokentoaster · 05/01/2017 09:04

Think it's impolite and unprofessional. Feeling sick and vulnerable in hospital, away from home and not being able to understand a conversation that was clearly audible to me and taking place well within my earshot would add to my feelings of disorientation and alienation. I would hope the staff employed were fluent enough in English to do their jobs competently and be able to explain and translate medical info in a way I could understand in an empathetic way - so carrying on a conversation in their own mother tongue should be saved till they were out of earshot of a patient. I wish that didn't translate to some posters as right wing/racism/British First speak - to me it's about human compassion, empathy and professionalism.

Lostwithinthehills · 05/01/2017 09:28

Whoa! Scottishdiem are you suggesting that I am a member of Britain First for thinking that nursing staff should speak English in front of patients in this country??????

Lostwithinthehills · 05/01/2017 09:34

What's xenophobic about thinking that it's rude and unprofessional for nurses to talk in front of patients in a foreign language? If they were talking about the procedures they were undertaking they should have been doing it English and letting the op know what they were doing. If they were having a private conversation about Eastenders or what they did at the weekend they should have saved it for another time, not while they were working around the op.

Lostwithinthehills · 05/01/2017 09:41

Either these nurses were not engaging with their patient properly or they were having a private conversation. Nurses having a private conversation in English and excluding the patient they were caring for would be criticised. By swopping to their own language these nurses knew that the op was unlikely to know what they were talking about, making it difficult for her to complain. She couldn't complain about what they were talking about and if she complained that they were talking in a foreign language there is a chance she would be accused of xenophobia.......

frumpet · 05/01/2017 09:42

Meetthemartian I didn't say that their level of English wasn't good , simply that sometimes when explaining things to each other they use their native tongue , presumably because it is quicker/easier . This doesn't mean they don't understand the clinical concepts . Sorry if what I said was misleading .

Potnoodlewilld0 · 05/01/2017 09:43

YANBU it's rude and ignorant. That wouldn't happen in my home or my work setting.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 05/01/2017 09:44

Oh ignore Scottish

Anyone who works in healthcare knows this it it not allowed as you do not have personal conversations in front of patients that excludes them it's as simple as that

Maybe some will have racist beliefs influencing their views (and if posts are racist should be challenged/reported) and also those that can't wait to throw in you are racist line or show how liberal minded they are at any given opportunity

To most it's just common sense in this situation that the op isn't being unreasonable

JerryFerry · 05/01/2017 09:47

Terribly rude. Absolute lack of common courtesy. I'd complain loudly as I doubt very much this is acceptable practice. It's a sackable offence where I work.

LumelaMme · 05/01/2017 09:49

The xenophobia on this thread is alarming but does explain Brexit I suppose.
So I'd be a xenophobe for being pissed off by two nurses having a private chat in a corner in [select non-English language of choice] but allowably irked if they were doing in English (or Welsh, if in Wales)?

Confused Or are nurses allowed to chat away to each other about Match of the Day/taking the car to the garage/what they're having for tea when they're supposed to be looking after patients?
raindripsonruses · 05/01/2017 10:20

Not xenophobic to say they shouldn't have.

allowlsthinkalot · 05/01/2017 10:21

YANBU. This happens a lot here in Wales with non- Welsh speaking patients and because I have an English accent I have understood things I wasn't intended to, about myself and other patients.

It is rude and bad practice to be having a conversation that doesn't invlove you in any case.

zoemaguire · 05/01/2017 10:43

Ahaha, that's brilliant. I love the idea that I'm a brexit voting xenophobe because I don't think you should have conversations that exclude others when they should be included. I only have two european passports, speak four languages and am married to somebody with two other different nationalities (and voted remain with every bone in my body). I'm sure id find many kindred spirits in Britain first .

CaraAspen · 05/01/2017 10:43

"EnthusiasmIsDisturbed

Oh ignore Scottish

Anyone who works in healthcare knows this it it not allowed as you do not have personal conversations in front of patients that excludes them it's as simple as that

Maybe some will have racist beliefs influencing their views (and if posts are racist should be challenged/reported) and also those that can't wait to throw in you are racist line or show how liberal minded they are at any given opportunity

To most it's just common sense in this situation that the op isn't being unreasonable"

I concur.