To think the nurses shouldn't have spoken in a different language in front of me?

[ColouringTheBrain]

If I start by saying I think our NHS staff do a great job I'm not looking to be flamed, I genuinely want to know if I'm BU.

I had to go to the hospital today, the nurse that initially dealt with me was kind and gentle, also in the room was a colleague of hers ( another nurse). The nurse took my bloods, then went to get another machine, it was then that the two nurses started talking to each other in a different language ( I'm not trying to be vague, I just haven't got a clue what language it was). It made me feel really uncomfortable as it was directly in front of me, whether they were talking about me, or what's on TV, or other members of staff I feel is irrelevant, I felt like they shouldn't be doing it in front of a patient. Obviously I didn't say anything, I wasn't feeling the best anyway, but I also felt slightly intimidated I suppose.

AIBU, or should I just accept it as part of the care?

ColouringTheBrain

Sorry you felt uncomfortable.

In that situation, I would assume that the nurses were talking in their first language or one that they feel more comfortable speaking than English and I think then I'd guess they were either having a personal conversation (i.e. nothing to do with me) or talking about a medical issue in which case I feel I'd rather they used the language they feel most comfortable with as that would leave less chance of a miscommunication. But it is very hard to put myself in your position as I know hospitals, medical procedures, etc. make many people feel nervous anyway.

I wouldn't make a complaint, I don't think.

It is common courtesy not to speak an unfamiliar language in front of another person.

It is common courtesy not to speak an unfamiliar language in front of another person

Would people PLEASE stop pretending that this is some kind of universal law and not a personal english etiquette thing?
Perspective, try some. There are other ways of seeing things.

YABU

I only speak English but it doesn't bother me if other people speak to each other in their own first language. I'd only mind if they were talking about me.

I don't understand why it's rude. They are chatting among themselves.

User etc I am not English I did not train as a nurse in England, but we are trained not to do this as it is unsettling for patients.

Would you consider it rude if it happened in other country and although the nurses knew English, they chose to speak their own language?

And yes, it's only after moving to UK I heard that I'm not allowed to speak my native or second language at work. Only English. And the job was picker-packer at the warehouse, FFS!

On a recent hospital stay the woman in the bed was profoundly deaf, she had been there a week, this had been very stressful very difficult as they didn't have a sign support worker.
I sign so once the women had written down that she gave consent for me to be with her when the nurse doctors and other staff did the rounds.
It felt invasive to me and out of order they they had no trained BSL workers available in the whole huge hospital.
This hospital have a list of interpreters, none for BSL or Makaton, I did it for about a couple of years, I didn't get called out more than five times.
Would it have looked rude whilst having a conversation in BSL or Makaton or would that be ok as they are silent language?

DeadMorose I was trained not to chit-chat to other nurses in front of the patient, and all conversations were to involve the patient, no speaking over their heads. As I said, I thought this was universal for nurses as I did not train here. If I wanted to speak another language I would do it on a break, only when alone with that person.

DaemonP I am Norwegian, the same applies there as regards speaking in another language in front of a patient. Most Norwegians speak English so it is not a problem to speak English in front of an English speaking patient. I would never want a patient of mine to feel uncomfortable or to be worried about what I am saying.

I work in private healthcare, workers have been disciplined for speaking in languages other than English
I'm not bothered what language they speak or what they are saying, if they're talking about me they're leaving someone else alone

Part of my job deals with handling complaints from PALS and others. It's not nasty NHS bingo Draylon it is improving patient care.
In this example, language is a barrier to good patient centred care.

The root of the problem with the situation is not:

• rudeness on the part of the nurses
• nosiness on the part of the OP
• a fear of foreigners
• a lack of understanding on the part of the OP that non-English speakers get comfort and support speaking their own language at work
• pearl clutching

The root cause of the problem is that the nurses lost focus that their primary concern was care of their patient, and that whilst in that room their patient was the priority.

There needs to be an understanding that whatever brought the OP to the hospital does not necessarily last solely for the duration of a nursing shift. The OP was provided care by those nurses. However, they will go home, and the OP may need further care. She may meet different medical personnel on another date, but that doesn't mean her continuity of care should be compromised. The OP is an integral part of her own care. She is the one who will explain what happened previously, what was mentioned in passing, or discussed in detail. Yes her notes will give information, but they are not the be all and end all. You treat a patient, not a condition.

The OP doesn't know what was discussed in front of her. It may have been about breaks, or children not sleeping last night, or it may have been a comment about keeping an eye on one parameter that was being monitored. It may have been something mundane, or something related to her care. We don't know, but more importantly, the OP/patient doesn't know, and that's what's concerning as she is the one most invested in her care, and integral to ensuring continuity of her own care.

What the nurses did was wrong.

Personally I think it's really Anglo-centric and even imperialist to assume that because people live in X English Speaking Country they should speak English all the time. I do think the nurses were being rude, but not for speaking another language. I think they should have had their chat elsewhere, but I think to make it about "another language" is xenophobic and even bordering on racist.

OP, I don't think you're being unreasonable to expect that the chatter shouldn't have happened in front of you, because I can see how that would make you feel anxious. I do think it's unreasonable to make it about what language they chattered in, because that to me is irrelevant (the transgression was the chatter itself, not the language it was in).

YANBU. It's extremely rude. I'm bilingual English / French, FWIW.

ALL I have seen that happen on the wards too , where one nurse will revert to native language to better explain something clinical , Which is perfectly reasonable as long as it isn't during patient contact , or if it is they explain what they are doing . Fairly sure OP would have been more than happy if one of the nurses had turned round and said ' I was just explaining the new protocol for x or how the new machine differs from the old one we used ' .

User, so you go to the pub, in England, for lunch with three friends. They are all speakers of French and English, but you only speak English. All through the meal, they speak only french. You have to sit there staring into the mid distance, while everyone chats and you have no idea what is going on. Everybody ignores you the entire time. You don't think that's rude? I don't believe you, sorry.

faithinsound IMO this isn't Anglo-centric, its about the situation. DS has his hair cut in a Turkish barbers and I don't care in the slightest when they talk amongst themselves in Turkish whilst they are cutting his hair. In a hospital its totally different environment. DS was treated in a Spanish medical centre, and though the staff spoke Spanish (which I don't) amongst themselves they did explain (maybe briefly) to me in English each time about what they were speaking about.

The chatter they had may have been appropriate but as frumpet has said it was a problem because they didn't explain what it was.

It is ever so slightly rude. Nothing an adult should be getting worked up about, however.

If our English culture is so offensive , find another place?
It is considered rude here. It would be considered also rude to discuss in English aspects of care using technical language that the patients might not understand either.

La raison pour laquelle il est incroyablement impoli de parler une langue etrangere ds ce genre de situation est que c'est un acte de refus de communication avec ceux qui ne parlent pas cette langue. On peut alors dire n'importe quoi. User, par exemple, me semble un peu surexcitee.

(Excusez le manque d'accents, mon portable ne parle pas Francais). Bon alors, on continue en Francais, les gars? Je sais, je sais, sur mumsnet ils parlent tous Anglais, mais on s'en fout un peu, non?

Headofthehive55: The only offended person is the OP

(to those thinking op is being unreasonable, if you don't speak French, don't you dare look that up on Google translate - you can't do that in a live conversation. After all, what's it to you if the conversation carries on in French from now on?

I was thinking about the offended posters, annoyed that they were to speak English.

Excellente idée zoe. Après tout, je suis sûre que personne n'aura le moindre problème avec ça. Ça n'est pas grave si les autres ne comprennent pas.

frumpet I find the idea that some nurses English not being good enough to be able to explain/understand something clinical scary TBH. What if they are the only one speaking that language on the ward that day? What if they have a really important information to give and they can't communicate it well? What if they are missing an important detail in a procedure?
I thought there was a minimum level in English required for that reason.
And that's wo the fact that the more they are using English, the more they will be able to confortable using it and therefore the less issue there will be.

Fwiw, I haven't seen anyone not speaking the country language in a hospital anywhere else other than the uk. I also know if that was happening like the OP described, it would be considered extremely rude. It's not just the uk who thinks that (for all the reason explained in the thread).
What I am more amazed about is how happy all the staff (nurses, doctors, assistants etc) are happy to accommodate people who aren't speaking good English.