To ask dd's dad to look after her at his own place?

[takemetothehamptons]

Dd is 2 and is yet to stay overnight at her dad's as he shares a house with 3 other people and lives an hour away. So instead whenever I've gone out on an evening he's been looking after her at my place and staying overnight.

This isn't working any more because we just don't get on. AIBU to ask him to look after dd either at his mum and dads house or at his own house?

Yanbu at all. He needs to either make provisions for overnight care or arrange daytime care only (with a reflection in his maintenance payments)

No of course you are not being unreasonable. Tell him that is how it has to be from now on especially as he has the options of staying with his parents.

It sounds as though you both could use a clearer boundary, keeping your lives more separate will help on keeping things more civil over your dd. Definitely go for it.

Yep boundaries are definitely needed. The only thing that bothers me is that his mum and dad smoke so the house isn't the cleanest. They dont smoke in the house when dds there though.