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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if it's best to do a job you hate and get paid more or a job you can bear and get a shit wage?

14 replies

malificent7 · 03/01/2017 22:59

I trained as a teacher which I cannot do as I find it destroys my mental health. I just cannot hack it...it did pay well- ish but not worth the money. I could have saved for a mortgage had I stuck it out but I would have been ruined.
I now work as a TA which is shite pay but semi permanent /fixed term. I am always skint and I get HAMMERED for childcare . However, I do love my job so that is worth it.

Has anyone sacrificed a higher salary in a similar way? Are you skint but happy?

OP posts:

DownWithThatSort0fThing · 03/01/2017 23:01

I would say, money is not everything. I walked away from a well paid job due to it making me ill. I have never regretted it

TwentyCups · 03/01/2017 23:02

Skint but happy. It's not worth any amount of money to be miserable each day.
Plus, after being skint for a few years you get good at it bargain hunting/money saving is a particular passion of mine!

ToffeeForEveryone · 03/01/2017 23:02

Depends how much higher the wage is and if you can use thinking about that to get you through.

Life is short. Too short to be miserable. We don't need that much stuff.

TheSnowFairy · 03/01/2017 23:06

Have done both, agree with pp - life's too short to be doing something you hate.

Lbee123 · 03/01/2017 23:06

I walked away from 38k a year full time job and now earn around 8k doing part time hours and I'm so much happier. The job itself made me sick with stress and I get to spend more time with my baby. Money is tight and I'm still stressing over that but it doesn't come close to how I was previously and I'd make the same choice in an instant.

flumposie · 03/01/2017 23:09

Ha , clicked onto this as I am a teacher of 20 years wanting to leave teaching so pondering this.

rollonthesummer · 03/01/2017 23:16

I am thinking the same as you. It's crap that 20 years of teaching makes me feel like this :(.

HeddaGarbled · 03/01/2017 23:18

Neither.

You need something part way between the two extremes. I agree there will always be a bit of a trade off between money and job satisfaction but it doesn't need to be so extreme.

The FE college I work for employs TAs on permanent contracts. The pay is lower than teachers but it's not bad. Many of them are happy as they are but some have used their experience to move into other roles: teaching Functional Skills, teaching leisure classes or GCSE English or maths to adults. One has just got a brilliant job as a one to one learning support teacher in a local private school specialising in students with dyslexia.

I have friends who earn a very good living from supply teaching: hard work while they are in the classroom but without the long hours of marking, parents' evenings etc.

Another friend does private maths and piano tutoring and is never out of work.

TheScottishPlay · 03/01/2017 23:20

I left a much higher paying job as it made me a monster. I earn a bit less these days but I love my job, my DH and DS don't live in dread of my moods and I don't live in abject misery every day.
I've never looked back for a second.

ilovesooty · 03/01/2017 23:20

Teaching made me very ill. I will never earn again what I earned in that job but I feel privileged to do the job I do now.

No amount of money is worth being unhappy at work.

Chicken4dinner · 03/01/2017 23:24

I wasn't headhunted into a role paying £10k more than I was earning at the time.

I hated it. Instead of enjoying weekends I spent them worrying about. Monday.

I'm now doing a job I love, similar to the role I was doing before I was headhunted. I'm earning a lot less which means that DH has to contribute significantly more to the household budget but we both agreed it wasn't worth the stress and worry.

Cupcakey · 03/01/2017 23:34

I left a career in marketing to have my children after time away raising the family I Went back to marketing great salary... but I wasn't the same me as before I had children... No time for empire builders, back stabbers etc and certainly no time for working to the wee hours to get deadlines sorted. Totally stressed out felt like I was neglecting home life and losing my sanity!! walked away got new job @ minimum wage around school hours! Never looked back! not rich but we manage and we are all happier because we have time for each other and I'm not a total stress head! Would do it again tomorrow! Life is too short to spend it doing something that makes you unhappy xx

Tinkerbec · 03/01/2017 23:37

You sound like me.
I did teaching 15 years ago then became a TA. I was totally happy and earning a near NQT salary.

Somehow I was persuaded to teach again and am now about to start term 2 tomorrow. I am so nervous.

I am managing much better than I thought after all my experience and now being a lot older. However I sometimes think I wish I was a TA again as its easier and I don't earn much more.
I will eventually but now it's the same.

If I feel like this in April I will return to be a TA but I am giving it one more chance.

Happiness is more important.

musicposy · 03/01/2017 23:40

HeddaGarbled wondering if I know you as I do private maths and piano teaching (and am never out of work!).

Like you, OP, I left full time school teaching because I had no life. When I had my children I didn't want to spend every evening and all weekend on school paperwork. I knew I was going to miss out hugely on their childhood.

However, I don't earn what I did then, nowhere near. Partly this is because I choose only to do 3 days a week, but also it's because the hours which children are free for private tuition are much more limited than school hours, so it's hard to get as many in. However, I could increase to 5 days plus Saturdays tomorrow if I was short of money, and it would probably come to about 2/3 of what I'd get in school. It's worth bearing in mind that I do have quite a lot of overheads and expenses I didn't get in school, including an accountant. I'm sure it's quite possible to do your own accounts but despite my love of maths I can't think of anything more tedious!

Despite earning much less, I love it. I'm my own boss and can do as much or little as I like. I can kick out disruptive pupils or difficult parents (I've almost never had to but it's nice to know I can!). Teenagers who are difficult at school and a nightmare at home are usually lovely with me because it's a one-to-one. When pupils get better maths grades/ GCSEs than predicted the parents tend to give me the credit rather than the poor teacher who has been slaving away in school all that time. It's a much less thankless job.

So to answer your question OP, yes I have. And yes, I am happy.

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