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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To no expect to receive a text 5mins before a date asking if I am on the pill!

104 replies

OopsDearyMe · 02/01/2017 23:27

Seriously, first date since divorce 5 years ago. Met on POF and both seemed to want the same thing, not just a one night stand or anything like it. So arranged dated tonight, booked babysitter, did all the usual stuff spent money on clothes and hair , make up stuff and hour getting looking really pretty stunning (and its not easy to say that) and then 5 mins before he is due I get a random text asking if I am on the pill!!!!!!!
WFT?
when I said not sure why that's relevant and made it clear its not something he needed to know for tonight anyway, he tells me that we have got our wires crossed and ghosts me!!!
So had to pay and send babysitter away and now embarrassed and feeling like wow crap.

Is this all there is left?

OP posts:

Formerpigwrestler9 · 03/01/2017 09:23

Never meet anyone without a Skype call first, always make the first meeting a daytime chat in a coffee shop

ClarissaDarling · 03/01/2017 09:25

Urg!! Echoing the lucky lucky escape there!

Giddyaunt18 · 03/01/2017 09:26

Lucky escape!

Peanutandphoenix · 03/01/2017 09:32

Get yourself off POF that site is full of twats like that who are only looking for sex. I feel so bad for you but look on the bright side at least he asked before the date it was shitty behaviour though. If your going to try a dating site try using match the sites that you have to pay to use seem to have better men on them. Everyone I've spoken to says that POF is shit and that it's full of men and women who all have the morals of an ally cat and are only looking for sex. Think you had a lucky escape there.

PoisonousSmurf · 03/01/2017 09:32

Sounds like he was a potential rapist!

knorrig · 03/01/2017 09:42

don't generalise Peanut I met my OH on there and he wasn't like that.

I agree there are plenty of weirdo's on there but you can't tar everyone with the same brush!

Peanutandphoenix · 03/01/2017 09:57

korig my experience with POF has been terrible I only ever came across people who where just after sex or fellas who said they wanted the same thing as me and then cheated on me for every one nice decent fella on there there are 100 horrible men on there. Am glad you found a nice man on there but your one of the lucky ones.

livelyredjellybean · 03/01/2017 09:58

I tried to put off one of the guys on POF asking me for sex by saying I wasn't attracted to him. His response - "that's ok, we don't need to like each other to have sex"!!!

Def a lucky escape, OP.

Flingmoo · 03/01/2017 09:59

Marynary · 03/01/2017 10:13

What a creep! It's hard to believe people like that ever manage to have sex. The fact that he thinks only the pill is suitable contraception suggests that he is either very old or still a virgin.

Amithenormalone · 03/01/2017 10:15

I found POF the small lot of very unusual types on there only seem to be after one thing which seems the norm for free dating sites. I did find one free dating site that wasn't so bad oasis I meet my dh in there we have now been together 5 years married for 18 months and have 3 wonderful dcs.

knorrig · 03/01/2017 10:25

Yes, I am lucky to have found a good one on there. Unfortunately none of them are free of weirdo's....my friend paid to do eharmony and ended up with a freaky stalker from there.

I do know two married and two living together couples who met on Tinder and that's always labelled as the hook up site! I'd already met OH by the time Tinder came out but I def like the idea of it that they can only contact you if you match.

One guy on POF used to send me abuse as I didn't respond to him...I'd block him and he'd make new profiles and carry on!!

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2017 10:30

Sounds like he was a potential rapist!

Huh? Why?

JacquesHammer · 03/01/2017 10:32

Sounds like he was a potential rapist

I have no clue what you mean by this?!

Peanutandphoenix · 03/01/2017 10:32

knorrig your not wrong every site had its fair share of weirdos it just seems to be that POF has the most weirdos. My sister met her fella on POF and they have been together for 18 months. I think you just have to weed out all the sex pests until you find the nice ones. See even tinder the hook up app has nice fellas on it. I tried that net someone who was only after sex I found him on Facebook after I had got shot of him turned out the whole time he was sleeping with me he had a girlfriend that he was living with why men can be such shits at times I will never know but there has to be some nice ones out there somewhere.

Beebeeeight · 03/01/2017 10:39

Lucky escape.

He probably has herpes or worse!

ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin · 03/01/2017 10:39

my mum's just popped out to the co op Good lord

abigamarone · 03/01/2017 10:40

POF has the most weirdos because it is the largest site of its kind, the ratio will be no different.

BBCNewsRave · 03/01/2017 13:13

jellybean "that's ok, we don't need to like each other to have sex"

That sums up the problems of trying to find a decent man, imo...

MrsRaymondReddington · 03/01/2017 13:24

I found POF to be an absolute minefield! I had enough of it after a while and joined EHarmony, which you have to pay for. It was the best money I've ever spent! The first guy I spoke to turned out to be 'the one' and we've just had a baby. I'd try that OP, it seems be a place where everyone is invested in finding a proper relationship and you don't have to dodge the shag hunters!

TimeToChangeFor2017 · 03/01/2017 14:22

my Mum has just popped to co op, do you fancy a few mins of fun?

Just out of interest, how far away is the Co-op?

I can just imagine his mum dithering, "Now do we need milk...?" and him thinking, "Oh come on mum, hurry up, will you? There's a divorced woman three doors down who's gagging for it."

Oldraver · 05/01/2017 18:15

Ha @ Annie...yes years ago a friend used say."I tell the ladies I drive a brand new Merc"...he worked for a laundry and had a massive van but was a very lovely guy so it wasn't in a bragging way.

My tosser did everything he could to shoe horn the Merc into the convo, so much so I nearly didnt meet him

mrswishywashy1 · 05/01/2017 19:20

potential rapist?

Jesus twat/wanker maybe but how on earth do you deduce that he is a potential rapist?

HumpMeBogart · 05/01/2017 23:23

If you want to read more from these 'charmers' - and some marvellous put-downs - google 'bye felipe'. (Content warning: High Wanker Ratio )

Sorry you had such a shit experience, OP. I spent years online dating. Gave up in the summer and adopted two kittens. I'm so much happier!

SparkleShinyGlitter · 05/01/2017 23:28

I don't wheather to or 😂 At him I mean really 5 minutes before the date!

I've never done on line dating myself but a few of my friends have and they've had some proper charmers a few of the stories have left me open mouthed!

Lucky escape for you I say

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