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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To no expect to receive a text 5mins before a date asking if I am on the pill!

104 replies

OopsDearyMe · 02/01/2017 23:27

Seriously, first date since divorce 5 years ago. Met on POF and both seemed to want the same thing, not just a one night stand or anything like it. So arranged dated tonight, booked babysitter, did all the usual stuff spent money on clothes and hair , make up stuff and hour getting looking really pretty stunning (and its not easy to say that) and then 5 mins before he is due I get a random text asking if I am on the pill!!!!!!!
WFT?
when I said not sure why that's relevant and made it clear its not something he needed to know for tonight anyway, he tells me that we have got our wires crossed and ghosts me!!!
So had to pay and send babysitter away and now embarrassed and feeling like wow crap.

Is this all there is left?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/01/2017 23:45

My sister divorce her ex after 30 years and used an online dating site she had to pay a fairly large subscription for.

I think it sorted the wheat from the chaff in the way that there was less chancers/married people/weirdos.

Well a bit less anyway!

DontTouchTheMoustache · 02/01/2017 23:47

You poor thing, that's horrible!! No advice really just wanted to say he is a cunt and you deserve better Flowers

Ohyesiam · 02/01/2017 23:49

Sorry this happened to you.
The weekend before Christmas we went to a friend's wedding, to a LOVELY guy she met on pof. It's all possible, they are out there!
Hope you meet some lovely guys.

38cody · 02/01/2017 23:49

Lucky escape!
Went to my friends wedding last year with her lovely husband who she met online - she kissed a few frogs but then met her man - he's a real gem and they're ever so happy. Just update your profile pic whilst you're looking so gorgeous and better luck next time!

twattymctwatterson · 02/01/2017 23:50

Pof is horrible so I definitely would try a different site. You really need a thick skin for online dating which is why I'm taking a bit of a break. For what it's worth he's a cunt.

TitaniasCloset · 02/01/2017 23:53

He probably has herpes and other STDs too. Minger.

TitaniasCloset · 02/01/2017 23:54

Hope you took a few selfies of you all done up in your glory, use them to make a profile somewhere else, waste of good makeup otherwise.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/01/2017 23:56

"You're right, we did get our wires crossed. I thought that you were nice guy and in fact your a charmless tosser!"

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/01/2017 23:57

you're

AtSea1979 · 02/01/2017 23:58

OP that's awful. I have had similar experiences. It's so hard when you have to pay for babysitters and they don't turn up and turn up and after 20 mins you leave because he's a prick. Sounds like you had a lucky escape anyway.

hungryhippo90 · 02/01/2017 23:58

Unprotected sex on the first date? Is this where 2017 is at? God help me when I want to start dating again.

It's grim of. You've got my sympathies!

BadToTheBone · 02/01/2017 23:59

My friend met a lovely guy on pof about 6m ago, they're still together and things are going great. However this was after a fair few failed attempts and several unsolicited Dick pics.

SpiritedLondon · 03/01/2017 00:02

Wow what a prick. I was once asked by a bloke I was due to meet if I was on my period. It just so happened that I was.... he told me that there wasn't much point in meeting up! Hmm. Why not take a couple of selfies why you're looking smoking hot to use on your next online profile ( on a different site!). Good luck x

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2017 00:04

I think there should be a report button on every website so that unsolicited dick pics, get sent straight to the Police.

I know that sadly the Police don't have the resources to deal with it though.

But if a guy randomly showed his dick in the street/any public place, he'd be arrested for indecent exposure or sexual harassment.

In an idea world, this should be no different online.

Ohdearducks · 03/01/2017 00:06

Eww bet he was riddled anyway! Definitely did you a favour.

Baylisiana · 03/01/2017 00:06

So basically he texted you before even meeting you to let you know that obviously he would be expecting sex that night and fyi he won't wear a condom.

And they say chivalry is dead.

Sorry for the letdown OP. I bet you did look amazing and there are lots of men out there who would have been delighted to treat you as you deserve, hope you meet one of them next time.

PickledCauliflower · 03/01/2017 00:28

Lucky escape there.
Yuk!

Pseudonym99 · 03/01/2017 00:35

Ghost? And why would anyone have sex on a first date? Seems like you had a lucky escape

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2017 00:44

There's nothing wrong with having sex on a first date, if that's what both parties want.

There's everything wrong with sending that text though and with not wearing a condom.

RestlessTraveller · 03/01/2017 00:51

There. Are. No. Words.

(Apart from stay off POF, please. Try OKCupid)

dodobedoop · 03/01/2017 00:51

You've had a lucky escape. There are some good guys out there, it just takes a bit of wading through the nobs before you find one!
Forget this tossed, you're way too classy for him obviously OP. Flowers

RestlessTraveller · 03/01/2017 00:52

Much judgement there Pseudo?

dodobedoop · 03/01/2017 00:52

tosser not tossed!

KoolKoala07 · 03/01/2017 00:53

Don't be disheartened, op. I met my now husband on a dating site 8 years ago, married in oct.

HelenaDove · 03/01/2017 01:09

Prize wanker and entitled fuckwit who thinks hes entitled to consequence free sex without a condom.

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