Children playing war...

[LittleRobinRed]

So I've two boys (3&5) and they often want to engage in boisterous play, rough and tumbling etc, we encourage and support this within appropriate boundaries.If they are play fighting with things etc they usually play with dragons, knights, goblins etc but it is all fantasy play. Friends children 2, 4, & 7 play very 'real' war - children have armies that represent turkey, russia, germany, syria etc. they blow up terrorists and terrorists blow them up (in the play way!). I have a real problem with my children playing in this way with so many conflicts going on in the world and I have a real problem with turning this into a game for sport and fun. It just sits really uncomfortably with me and makes me question what we are teaching our children about the wider world and almost mocks these horrendous issues. I want to talk to friend to say I don't want my children being encouraged to play in this way and when together can we focus on other games, but need to do it in such a way that does not cause offence?

Yes we were raised around such seemingly innocuous themes. But I think if our generation keeps it going, Iraq and Syria will have more chance of happening again. Don't know if we can bear another war on terror.
Yes it sounds naive and even ignorant to some may be, but to be fair I think this might be one of the best ways forward.

After all aren't we the nation that elected that war monger to power TWICE

Three time actually...

Why does Tony Blair's name need a trigger warning?

between the too

between the two!

Tony Blair is clearly equivalent of Voldermort... He who must not be named!

If my kids watched "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" and played "Holocaust" I wouldn't have an issue with that.

My Dsis and I used to play all sorts of games about being terminally ill and all sorts it's just part of being a kid...

Well now you have said it, that's it, he is going to appear on mumsnet in a puff of smoke

Valentine

Idk. People from my family were in German KZs, so, that's something I'd expect DD to understand sooner than what's going on in Syria. Because I'll make sure that she remembers our ancestors and how it's important to stand up for freedom.

however Holocaust is just a word, isn't it? It depends on how they were playing it, I guess.
If they were playing Germans vs Russians (not the holocaust, admittedly)? That would be a game of pretend war, wouldn't if? Probably just as unreal as fairies vs gnomes or something.
If they were playing the gas chambers? How could that be a game of suspense and strategy? Wouldn't that be like playing... idk. I can't think of a not disrespectful analogy.

I'm unsure.

I don't feel like I agree with you. I guess it depends on culture.

Btw:

tony blair

Trigger warnings for a name of a very well-known and reasonably prominent person? 🤔

My nephew is in the army now.

He never played 'war' or with guns.

He played with barbie's.

Boo!

horatio
Yes exactly. Just like other tyrants/war monger a around the world.

mistress
Thanks for the pic! Always feel like spitting when his name comes up. Now I can aim on it.

valentine

?

I'm happy to help.

That picture definitely needed a trigger warning!!

Children play war games, its natural and developmentally appropriate - its their way of figuring out good versus bad and the world around them. To the children, playing 'terrorists' isn't any different than playing knights versus dragons, the Allies versus the Nazis, cops and robbers etc. etc. The only difference is in the eyes of adults - you could encourage them more towards the fantasy side of things (goblins versus orcs or whatever) if it makes you feel more comfortable but its all the same to them, but acting out what they hear grown ups talking about (Syria etc.) helps them make sense of their world.

I played war games all the time as a child, and was fairly obsessed with playing 'soldier' but I've no desire to join the military or shoot anyone or anything like that. For children where I live perhaps they play "terrorists" or perhaps they play Finland versus Russia which to some could be viewed as negative as Finland fought alongside the Nazis (friend's grandad was an SS officer actually, its very weird to think of someone's grandad as a 'baddie' but also not a 'baddie' really) but its still just games to children.

I dont think the names of the goodies and baddies mean much to a child given the huge variety of sources they have been exposed to. Thats all they are, goodies and baddies. Or baddies and other baddies sometimes.

Growing up I played/saw played:

Cops & Robbers
Cowboys & Indians
Brits v Nazis
Brits v Argies
Rebels v The Empire
USA v Commies
Schwarzkopf v Saddam (we couldnt actually pronounce Schwarzkopf but the idea of an overweight general was most amusing at the time for some reason - probably related to the war movies always having trim and fit army heros).

I dont think that there is any real difference to children who the good guys and bad guys are during this games as it is a game.

My almost 6yo is desperate for a Nerf gun, and is obsessed with watching YouTube videos of them.

This thread has made me unclench and consider giving in and buying him one for his birthday.

Btw, when we were young we shot with a bow and arrows.

And we also went to the shooting range to shoot crossbows or biathlon rifles (I'm struggling with the English term). I also like to go shooting, we had a shooting weekend for my 'hen weekend'.

I'm not in the army and neither is my sister or my cousins. My brothers have been doing mandatory military service but nothing more. So... I just don't think them playing war will translate to their adult lives?

As a parent of three teens myself I think you will find bigger fish to fry.

We do honour victims and casualties of war.

I don't think there will ever be a time where there is no war. It's not in our nature.

I am proud of my OH and the sacrifices he and I and our children make. We spend months apart out of contact and we miss birthdays and Christmasses.

OH was a bit of a delinquent tbh and if he hadn't joined the Navy his life may have been very different.

'As a parent of three teens myself I think you will find bigger fish to fry.'

This. In spades. And mine aren't even teens yet.

I think there are many positives to this kind of role play. Teamwork, communication, protecting others, putting duty to others before your self, exploring moral boundaries, standing up & protecting others and it's a great exercise for the imagination. I am ex forces and although war it's self is horrible you really get to see the best in people too. I think there are many good qualities about soldiering that can be explored through this play.

I understand your concerns as well. Kids have a different realisation about war than we do. Obviously the complexity of the situation is hard to explain at that age. Things like who is a terrorist, why are they terrorist, the impact of war on civilians, why war is not glorious.

Just a thought but have you ever got involved with these games your self? It could actually be a great tool to explore these issues in a way that is fun but also get through to them. For example you could use it as a tool to explore ethical issues around war.

Like why it is important to protect the weak, The value of protecting life,
Explaining that behind every gun is a real person just like everyone else,
Exploring the meaning of sacrifice and serving others
Developing Teamwork and communication skills
Explore ideas of peace and reconciliation possible at the end of play.

Just a few examples but I think it could be a real educational tool used in the right way. Where to a certain extent the kids have dehumanised the emany you could help humanise them again.

If you say his name 3 times in front of a mirror while holding a G&T he shows up to claim your soul

I personally think that the playing of war is akin to genetic memory, in the same way that you get scared in the dark or in dark woods, lessons left from the homo genus

Tony Blair is clearly equivalent of Voldermort... He who must not be named!
Precisely; birds of a feather.

Bush?

Senior

The First Gulf War was legal

W

Try him for war crimes