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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Stop holding my hand, I'm an adult!

225 replies

2017ReasonsToMoan · 02/01/2017 10:22

Text from school to parents:

"Don't forget school reopens Thursday 5th January at 0845"

Is it any wonder adults are behaving more and more like children when responsibilities are not expected of them?

We get the holiday list. The weekly reminders in the newsletter. Now a text in the middle of my holiday.

If I'm so irresponsible to need this, you can bet your ass I'll have forgotten again by Thursday. Why bother?

Ahhh.

That felt good.

OP posts:

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/01/2017 20:16

Well the goady fuckers have had their fun today haven't they

StillRabbit · 02/01/2017 21:38

*At my kids school the Secretary just does it so nobody has been employed specifically and I can't imagine they ever would be.

it still takes them time - to train the staff member, for them to actually use the system, apply updates etc.

The hidden costs of these sorts of jobs is why the public sector is in the mess it is - very few government employers actually calculate the cost of the staff time to do individual tasks like this, they just add it to the list of jobs an existing member of staff does.

And there is usually a per text/transaction fee as well as an upfront cost.*

I was trained on the system a year or so ago... training me took about five minutes. Sending out the texts takes a lot less time and costs a lot less money than having to telephone the missing families or answer repeated phone calls. It's a much more efficient system than at my last school where we employed someone who spent at least an hour every morning phoning families where children hadn't shown up at school.

NewNNfor2017 · 02/01/2017 22:26

Sending out the texts takes a lot less time and costs a lot less money than having to telephone the missing families or answer repeated phone calls.

The only reason you send a text is because it is not prioritised in the minds of those parents, despite you putting the date in the newsletter, and on the website.

You are enabling those parents who chose not to take responsibility themselves.

Simonneilsbeard · 02/01/2017 22:31

So what? Enabling them to send their kids to school! It benefits the children..surely that's all that matters isn't it? That the children get to school..does it really bloody matter how their parents remind themselves or if they rely on the school text?
Jesus wept.

NewNNfor2017 · 02/01/2017 22:35

does it really bloody matter how their parents remind themselves or if they rely on the school text?

. Sounds a lot like the "nanny state " to me. Parents can't be relied on to get their DCs to school when required, so we (the state) have to remind them.

Of course, it comes at a price. One I'd (as a tax payer) prefer not to pay.

Jux · 02/01/2017 23:25

I have a slight brain damage which has played hell with my ability to remember dates (among other things). I can look at a calendar and see and understand that on Friday 6th of this month at 2.40pm I have an appointment. I cannot turn that into "this Friday" and I will almost certainly miss that appt and just go off to work on Friday because that's what I do on Fridays.

I would be very grateful to get a text from dd's school reminding me of their return date and any other necessary dates. I will then have it in writing on my phone as well as on whatever letters are sent home etc. As it's on my phone, I will be able to check it much more easily than having to root around trying to find relevant documentation, and I will be able to apply the techniques and strategies I have in place to take a date off the calendar and put it into real life.

Mosschopz · 02/01/2017 23:35

This is for the parents who book a cheap holiday that overlaps the term by a day or two, take their kids out of school for that day, then Google like crazy to find some random website that gives the wrong term dates...so they can claim they didn't know and contest the penalty warning notice

MotherFuckingChainsaw · 02/01/2017 23:39

jux that is EXACTLY my problem. I don't seem able to make that connection between that written appointment and 'this Friday '

It's so hard to get a neurotypical person to grasp the problem, and I keep being told to just 'be more organised' and use a diary (I do, and a reminder app and I email myself extra reminders)

I was born like this though, and just assumed I was a bit stupid till I had the assessment and found I was dyslexic.

NewNNfor2017 · 02/01/2017 23:40

As it's on my phone, I will be able to check it much more easily than having to root around trying to find relevant documentation,

Why not just set yourself an electronic reminder on your phone - 1 week, 3 days, 24 hours before - when the you first receive the documentation ?

mylittlephoney · 02/01/2017 23:43

My ds school often sends emails with the wrong dates. We have to email them back. The receptionists are a bit ditzy to say the least except if you owe money - funny that.

MotherFuckingChainsaw · 02/01/2017 23:50

And assertions by some pps that those of us who struggle to be organised are just lazy, stupid or somehow conniving for personal advantage are really annoying.

I find the Constant organisation of school stuff extraordinarily draining. I can manage work (am very organised) and and sort of manage my own personal admin but the sheer number and nature of 'things' related to school really stresses me.

Especially as half the things we get from th school seem to assume some prior knowledge that I just don't have... ' oh yes we always finish an hour early on book day, didn't you know?' 'But you got the newsletter date of the party, everyone knows that means you have to come in at lunchtime with 2 changes of clothing and a plate of buns and a silly hat...'

Does my fucking nut in.

Jux · 03/01/2017 00:14

NewNNfor2017 I do. You have just demonstrated exactly what MotherfuckingChristmas said: It's so hard to get a neurotypical person to grasp the problem !

MFC (may I call you that?), yes, calendars, diaries, reminders galore. I have looked at my kitchen calendar in the morning, seen that I have an appt that afternoon except I can't get it to equate with that afternoon, despite phone reminders, pc reminders, any reminders. I will still think that "today I have nothing special" and just go off and do my normal routine, unless an actual person tells me "that's this afternoon", "that's this coming Thursday" "that's next week, Tuesday" etc.

In other words, 'today' is a totally different concept to 'Monday 2nd', and ne'er the twain shall meet

But the more reminders the better.

Simonneilsbeard · 03/01/2017 00:16

Actually why don't they just do away with all the shit letters they send home wasting paper and resources and just do every single communication via text.
That would really wind some people up

NewNNfor2017 · 03/01/2017 00:18

I can't get it to equate with that afternoon, despite phone reminders, pc reminders, any reminders I will still think that "today I have nothing special" and just go off and do my normal routine, unless an actual person tells me "that's this afternoon", "that's this coming Thursday" "that's next week, Tuesday" etc.

So how is a text from the school different?

UnbornMortificado · 03/01/2017 00:29

Which poster was it who took her son a day early last holidays?

I'm pleased of the reminder but my memory's shit I blame the (prescribed) drugs. I used to have a decent level of organisation.

StillRabbit · 03/01/2017 07:27

Actually why don't they just do away with all the shit letters they send home wasting paper and resources and just do every single communication via text.
That would really wind some people up grin

Secondary schools around here do just that! No paper letters, just texts and emails. It's great, no more letters forgotten by lazy teens.

MrsJamin · 03/01/2017 07:36

I've been at the several parents posting on our school Facebook pages asking when kids go back to school. So so lazy, we've had several emails with the dates, it's on the website! Wish I could just say what I think, I just ignore the messages and let someone else reply otherwise I'd probably let some passive aggressive vibe come through. Just get organised, parents! When you get a letter with dates, put it in the diary! It's not hard, it's actually quite a simple aspect of being an adult. How do they manage the rest of their lives without reminder texts?!

Original poster

2017ReasonsToMoan · 03/01/2017 07:55

Well the goady fuckers have had their fun today haven't they

You say goady, I say hilarious.

A light hearted rant taken too personally by pp who obviously know they have a problem with organisation but blame life, circumstances, the school, the economy, or the OP on mumsnet who dared to call them out for it.

Take responsibility and grow up. Being an adult is scary at times but you owe it to your children (and yourself) to try.

OP posts:

LineyReborn · 03/01/2017 08:18

Oh yeah, the school secretary at Bash Street Junior Academy is 'the state'. Alert the Ghost of George Orwell.

Ginslinger · 03/01/2017 08:26

Can anyone tell me if I need to go to work today? No one texted me

Original poster

2017ReasonsToMoan · 03/01/2017 09:14

Oh yeah, the school secretary at Bash Street Junior Academy is 'the state'. Alert the Ghost of George Orwell.

He was trying to alert you. 🙄 He already knew.

OP posts:

Original poster

2017ReasonsToMoan · 03/01/2017 09:24

I also notice the severe lack of victim vibe from the early morning posters...

Is this a coincidence?

OP posts:

ghostspirit · 03/01/2017 09:26

gins no you don't have work

Ginslinger · 03/01/2017 11:20

now you tell me ghostie

melj1213 · 03/01/2017 18:41

I also notice the severe lack of victim vibe from the early morning posters

Some of us were in work at 6am ... and had at least 5 different sets of parents bringing their little darlings into the store in school uniform looking sheepish as they admitted that they/their partner had got their kids ready for school a day early and now had to take them home ...

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