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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That this was a mean thing to do?

59 replies

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 23:10

Went to a small NY party and it turned out one of the women there was a woman who had been to my school, but some years above me, and she said the following

  • couldn't believe I'd got married
  • she was 'sorry" for calling me names at school (I didn't know she had!)
  • my DD was pretty and 'didn't look much like me'

I just left.

AIBU to think I'm just going to stay home with hubby and babies from now on?

OP posts:
ineedamoreadultieradult · 31/12/2016 23:13

Was she drunk? I think all of those things are things that might have not been meant as badly as they sounded especially if she was drunk. Who did you go with? I think I would have just ignored her rather than leave. Hope you enjoy the rest of your nye.

Della1 · 31/12/2016 23:15

I think she was jealous. Ignore!

SausageSoda · 31/12/2016 23:16

Sounds as if she has very limited social skills. I wouldn't have let her ruin my evening or left but enjoy the rest of your night and have a happy new year

CatsAndCocktails · 31/12/2016 23:16

It's hard to tell really. Perhaps she felt bad for how she had treated you and was trying to be nice but ended up going about it the wrong way, especially if she was drunk. Or maybe she still is as unpleasant as she was back when you were at school.

DollyDora · 31/12/2016 23:17

You shouldnt have let her make you leave some people are knobs. A girl from school comment on the first pic of my wedding i posted on facey "cant believe youre married" i commented back really why not and she deleted me and avoids me if i see her in public weirdo

Whosthemummynow · 31/12/2016 23:17

Yabu for going home!

Original poster
cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 23:20

No, I wanted to I had to kind of force myself out anyway. I am much happier in my pyjamas with a cat on my knee than at a party, maybe that's why she thought I'd never get married. Or maybe she was saying I was ugly ... Probably the latter lol

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 31/12/2016 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stickerrocks · 31/12/2016 23:28

If ever I've said anything along the lines of "I can't believe you've got married", the rest of the conversation has been along the lines of how grown up/old we've all got & where time has gone. In my head I'm still in my teens or early twenties and shouldn't really have a house, husband & teenager. Surely you've had conversations discussing which of your children's features resemble which family member? I think you've just misunderstood her ham-fisted attempt to make small talk.

Boogers · 31/12/2016 23:31

This is one of those occasions where you wish you had the immediate withering comeback, only for it to come to you several hours later.

YANBU, she's a cow. Forget her, not worth the effort.

Oh, and happy new year! Smile

Original poster
cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 23:33

Happy New Year to you too! It did upset me but I'm just not going to force myself into situations like that where I'm uncomfortable:)

OP posts:
Itsallgoodimtold · 31/12/2016 23:33

I would never take offense at can't believe you're married, I would presume it's just down to knowing you in school uniform and now we are all grown up

SausageSoda · 31/12/2016 23:34

The world and his wife are always commenting how my DD looks nothing like me. I don't take it as an insult because she genuinely doesn't Grin her comments may have been a bit ham-fisted but you may be reacting a bit too sensitively to them. Don't let her bother you.

Original poster
cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 23:41

No but someone saying oh she is so pretty, so sweet, she looks nothing like you Hmm

And no I think the marriage thing was definitely 'because you're so ugly!' Sad

OP posts:
Boogers · 31/12/2016 23:44

New year's resolution - come up with comebacks and perfect the withering smile that just screams "oh do fuck off dear" Smile

Original poster
cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 23:48

:) or just stay in!

OP posts:
PickledCauliflower · 31/12/2016 23:52

She sounds jealous and insecure.
Probably had a few drinks and allowed her nasty side to rise to the surface.
Take no notice of her.

Original poster
cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 23:55

Yeah, I guess so.

It just upset me, that she remembered me as she did. I didn't offend anyone at school really

OP posts:
DailyFail1 · 01/01/2017 00:01

I was bullied too (at school and work) & had similar reactions whenever I've posted relationship changes on fb. Stupidest one was after my wedding when a woman who used to manage me posted 'what kind of guy would marry you?'. I asked why she wanted to know and she deleted me off fb. So I've blocked her.

stoopido · 01/01/2017 00:11

Why did you leave? I would have said a few sarky comments back to the silly cow and then laughed hysterically while looking like I was having a fantastic time.

Rachel0Greep · 01/01/2017 00:13

Take no notice. Her opinion doesn't matter in the slightest.

OptimisticSix · 01/01/2017 00:23

I went to a party once and ran into an old school "friend", tried to make conversation by saying how much older we'd BOTH got and she took offence and told me I was too fat :( which i was and vey insecure about it. So on the off chance she was just making clumsy conversation it's nice you didn't say anything back and we'll done for leaving. No point in being somewhere you'd rather not be anyway :D

TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey · 01/01/2017 00:24

Did you remember her? More likely she was put out by the fact you are more memorable to her than she is to you.

Pluto30 · 01/01/2017 00:25

Without context, I can't see anything wrong with what she'd said.

Saying someone's children are lovely looking and that they don't look like one parent is not an insult... It's a compliment, and then a remark. One of my children looks like he could've come from just about anyone but me - it doesn't bother me when someone tells me he doesn't look like me.

She probably figured you knew she'd talked about you in school, and wanted to put out a figurative olive branch of sorts. Clears the air etc.

And commenting that you can't believe someone got married is more of a surprise about age than it is about actually getting married, as a PP said.

I think you're finding fault and bad intention where there isn't any, tbh.

38cody · 01/01/2017 00:35

Imagine what a fucked up place she is in to need to make herself feel valuable by being such a rude bully. You are in a far better place than her. Silly cow, just forget it. Ugly is as ugly does - she sounds very unattractive.

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