That this was a mean thing to do?

[cherrycrumblecustard]

Went to a small NY party and it turned out one of the women there was a woman who had been to my school, but some years above me, and she said the following

• couldn't believe I'd got married
• she was 'sorry" for calling me names at school (I didn't know she had!)
• my DD was pretty and 'didn't look much like me'

I just left.

AIBU to think I'm just going to stay home with hubby and babies from now on?

I was bullied and had no friends at school. I hate seeing people from my school around. It does often happen, but when it does it's a slap in the face, and all the old emotions come back to the surface. I hate that it still affects me all these years later. I feel like they are judging me and my dc. My dc have sn. They must feel awkward and weird when they see me as well, because they never say anything to me. I'm also happier at home, than I am at any party, because ultimately, people say awful things all the time. Everyone just ends up fucking you off in the end. Old "friends" say things like Why are your dc so thick and slow? Why don't you move to a better house? Why don't you get a better car? Why doesn't your dh get a better job and earn more money? They know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Then I had relatives last night talking about how they can't wait for some older relatives to die off so that they can have their house. I'd rather be at home with the cat, because people are fucking awful.

It days an awful lot about her, and nothing at ask about you.
You sound really lovely, don't give her the satisfaction of upsetting you. And don't worry this will come back to bite her in the end, it always does.

Wiffle, it's a shame you feel like that The odd thing is that I was never really bullied, and I don't remember this woman at all. She was a few years above me. She said 'I was never horrible to you ... But my friends were, we felt bad when your mum died.'

Anyway I feel like you. I have a few close friends and they are all I need. I have beautiful children whether or not they look like me and my husband. And that's really all I need. Maybe this is the problem, that I've been looking and looking for happiness that doesn't exist when actually I need to stop and slow down and breathe and appreciate what I do have. Good NY resolution I think :)

Thanks, Oh happy new year :)

' I never liked you, you were a twat, funny how some things don't change' would have worked.

Not that you were, but I was a bit of a misfit at school (still am) and find myself moving back to the place I grew up in, which is bringing back mixed feelings. Not looking forward to bumping into old 'friends'

How good would it have been to say to that woman last night "Remind me who you are again?"

Middleoftheroad I know what you mean about being a misfit, I think I was too! Not many friends and very shy was my 'normal'. At 16 I chose to become more confident, by pure act of the will. It worked.

But now, if anyone felt inclined to remind me of anything horrible from school (I was not really bullied, just a bit left out), I think it I would have to act on my feet. I've actually not met many people from school, and when I did it was fine.

But i just wanted to say, Always know that whether one is a misfit or not, a square peg in a round hole, a bit unusual or whatever any form of bullying or picking on is never OK. We just need to remind ourselves, us misfits, that we are special, great, amazing and worthy of respect, and we always were.

I think you needn't read a lot into it. I can't really believe that my classmates are now 56 like me. In my head they are still 18 as they were when I last saw them.

I don't think what she said was being nasty. Why would she after all this time? What would she hope to achieve? I think it was very gauche. I wasn't there but i can imagine it very hard to admit to someone how nasty your younger self was. And puts you straight back in that place, hence the immaturity of what she was saying. I came face to face with the girl, whose friends bullied me terribly because of her, although she didn't really personally do much. It was at a small get together a former school friend organised. At one point she furtively created eye contact with me to see if I intended on creating an atmosphere. She looked pretty scared. I calmly smiled and nodded and acknowledged that all was fine. It sounds far more likely this woman made a botched attempt to do the same. Verbal diarrhoea springs to mind.